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Maturity Gaps in a Relationship

QUestion to ponder: Do you really love him that topping him at allmay not be a big deal or is his refusing to try bottoming for you is a real relationship breaker? The heart is really in the middle of his body, not at his rear end, you know.
 
Being in a relationship is about worked together for each others benefit, well being and pleasure. To me you are not defined by who is top or bottom as that is only a small part of the overall makeup a partnership.

Much rather than ending a relationship it would be more productive to put some energy into finding out why your Boyfriend does not want to bottom. Maybe he might think that bottoming will make him less of a man for example. You and I know that isn't true but you need to find out where his head is at.

I am wondering just how committed both of you were to the relationship if he not bottoming for you can end it all. Maybe you need to give consideration to why you were in a relationship to begin with.
 
Equating willingness to bottom to maturity is a logical stretch.

However, if the issue is about control or about your boyfriend being unwilling to experiment sexually (and assuming that these things are important to you) then that is reason enough to stop dating.
 
Volcom,

You've always impressed me with your maturity for sure, your advice here is valued and important, so I have to confess your post makes me think theres more to this than you're letting on...

Relationships are about a lot of things... and knowing your place and feeling comfortable and safe in that place is what makes them work, so I cant help but think you've felt for a while that your boyfriend had created a role for you that you didnt really feel fitted you.

Sure the sex thing might have been the catalyst, if you see yourself as something more than one role feeling as though you are forced into something is the quickest way to antagonize anyone.

More than that his unwillingness to compromise made you see this realtionship had no future... if he didnt compromise now would he ever???

But Volcom, knowing you the little that I do, I really think you know theres more to this. Walking away seemed just a little too easy... theres something in your heart or your head thats been picking at this for a while I'm sure.

So mate, the real question here is why was this so easy? Why was this the straw that broke the camels back? What did you learn and what made you feel so uncomfortable that made you make this decision?

Those are the lessons to learn mate... and I'm sure that you know that too.
 
The question of a maturity gap is relative sometimes, although probobly not in this case.
 
I am not sure you are describing a maturity issue here. I am not saying he is a mature person, or that you are not, but I am not sure I see evidence of maturity level in your description.

He is scared of bottoming. This might be because if a fear that it will hurt, or he has it ingrained into his mind that bottoming somehow makes him less of a man. Whatever the reason though, pushing him toward it was likely to result in push back.

I think saying something like "Both parts of this activity make me feel good, and I would like you to experience them, so if you ever want to try it, let me know" might have had more of a chance of him trying it at some point.

I know that if in my first relationship, my boyfriend had told me on numerous occasions before I decided that I wanted to try it for myself that he wanted to do it, I might have not wanted to. I was also mot willing to try anal sex at all before a couple of months into the relationship.

Don't really know your (I guess ex now), so maybe I am off base though. If being versatile with someone you are with is that important to you, than maybe it is for the best.
 
My boyfriend is willing to bottom, but I don't want him to.. I don't like to top with him. Sort of the reverse situation but in the same field of thought. Part of being in a relationship is also being considerate of how to settle on an "equal field". You should have talked to him IMO.
 
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