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Meeting a guy from a dating website

Stitch627

Stitch627

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I created a profile on Manhunt, and so far it's been mainly about window-shopping.
I don't really know what to expect of it, if anything, for I don't really want a hookup and I wanna take it slow.

Anyway, so I got to know this guy. I couldn't say we've chatted a lot, we've just exchanged a few emails, but in the end we agreed to have coffee sometime.
I'm not really used to this kind of meeting, so I'm a bit nervous and I don't really know how to handle it. What would you recommend?
 
well if it's just for a coffee i don't see why you worry so much. chose a place you know, and where you can go easily without being dependent on anybody.
meet the guy, hopefully have a nice time and maybe meet again some time.
 
1. Choose a public spot. You already have done that (I think), so way to go.
2. Dress "nice casual".
3. Bring some questions in your head. Ask questions about his life, what he likes to do, things like that. Keep the conversation going by asking follow-up questions to his answers.
4. Let yourself fall into friendly conversation.
5. If nothing develops, if you just aren't feeling any connection at all, don't worry - it happens. Thank him for his time, and tell him you just didn't feel it.
6. If he tells YOU that he doesn't feel anything, accept it. Thank him for giving you a shot.
7. If something does develop, run with it. :)

Lex
 
RazorzEdge88 said:
/thread hijack/

So I've been using dating websites too and I want a bit of advice.

I occasionally smoke the reefer, probably about once a week, so I put "uses socially" or something to that effect when these sites ask whether I do drugs.

I'm wondering if this is a turn-off for some guys, though. Would I just be better off keeping that under wraps and revealing it later? It's not like I'm dropping X once in a while.
Click to expand...

When I post on sites and I say that I'm looking for "drug free", I include marijuana in that. Personally, if I were considering you on a dating site, I'd prefer that you just list your marijuana usage upfront. Obviously, I can't speak for everyone, though.
 
CenTex22 said:
When I post on sites and I say that I'm looking for "drug free", I include marijuana in that. Personally, if I were considering you on a dating site, I'd prefer that you just list your marijuana usage upfront. Obviously, I can't speak for everyone, though.
Click to expand...

Same here. The goal is to try to hook up with someone "compatible," not to force an arrangement that might ultimately fail. So just list marijuana use up front. There are going to be guys who dig it, and those that don't wouldn't be much fun for you anyway.
 
Stitch.

Go have a coffee.

Just hang out. See where it goes from there.
 
I've never used an online dating service, and as of right now have no plans to.

Id rather meet someone either in person by myself or the old fashioned way: through other people.
 
RazorzEdge88 said:
/thread hijack/

So I've been using dating websites too and I want a bit of advice.

I occasionally smoke the reefer, probably about once a week, so I put "uses socially" or something to that effect when these sites ask whether I do drugs.

I'm wondering if this is a turn-off for some guys, though. Would I just be better off keeping that under wraps and revealing it later? It's not like I'm dropping X once in a while.
Click to expand...

Hey guys... just a quick reminder that this really isnt the place for thread hijacks... yeah yeah I know... we're no fun right...

Its a great question Razorz... worthy of its own thread actually... so perhaps thats the right way to approach it... and that leaves Stitch with his, and the advice he needs.

offtopic:

Cheers guys... thanks!
 
Stitch.. I personally met my current boyfriend through craigslist. Not a dating site per se but it has a personals section. We've been together just over a year now and pending any unforeseen tragedy we hope to be together the rest of our lives. Basically, meeting people online has become a really popular new way to hook up and it can really work. I know quite a few str8 married couples who met through online dating sites as well.

Before I met my bf I met other guys through online venues. When I was whoring around I used squirt.org and I found it was a really efficient way to find a lay you wanted when you wanted him. When I grew tired of slutting about I started searching for a relationship and yeah I had to kiss a few frogs so to speak but it wasn't terrible. Few coffee / dinner dates which went reasonably well but didn't go very far beyond that. Met one guy who I went on a second date with but received an e-mail from my current bf at the same time, decided to go on a date with him as well and we connected so well on our first date that I had to let the other guy go (which I did as politely as possible because I didn't want to hurt his feelings) and he was ok with it. We promised to remain friends, but didn't.

Either way, nervousness is normal but remember that this person is in the exact same boat as you. He's alone, he doesn't know you, he's looking for someone special and he chose to do so online. Just try and strike up a conversation and if there's chemistry you'll notice things taking off very quickly and naturally. If not, you carry on a respectful conversation as long as you can and then say your goodbyes with nothing lost.
 
Just came into see how many negative replies you'd gotten, Good Luck!! ;)
 
#1 Be clear from the beginning.

Coffee is one of the easiest ice breaker techniques that I have seen. To me it means that he'd like to meet and get to know you and doesn't already know enough to decide a location or an event. That is to say, coffee is a default.
 
evilmr said:
#1 Be clear from the beginning.

Coffee is one of the easiest ice breaker techniques that I have seen. To me it means that he'd like to meet and get to know you and doesn't already know enough to decide a location or an event. That is to say, coffee is a default.
Click to expand...

That's a good point. Coffee is also low commitment, unlike a 2-hour (and expensive) dinner. It's also easier and less intimidating perhaps than going out to bars for the first meeting. The main thing lacking in a coffee shop, though, is privacy, but that might also be a good thing for the first meeting.
 
Stitch627 said:
What do you exactly mean? About what I am looking for?
Click to expand...

I think he means that you should be honest and unassuming in general from the get go: what you're looking for in a relationship, your personality, etc. I was fortunate to have dated a guy who didn't play games with me and was very open about his personality (even past relationships!). It didn't really work out, but I'm glad my first dating experience went smoothly.
 
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