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Meeting flakes on-line.

T

thatcrap

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So, I'm an idiot. I was talking to this guy who I met on a4a for a couple weeks. It turned out we both work together in the same facility, but I've never met him before, as it is a big place.

He instantly answers any text message I send him and seemed like a great guy who is genuinely interested in getting to know me. I was suppose to meet him at his place tonight at 6PM. I text him for directions, no response. Try again, no response... still waiting. Now, I'm pissed and I honestly feel hurt.

This has happened to me before. Note to all, do NOT bother with on-line flakes and creeps. It's just a path of misery and disappointment. And that is today's lesson.
 
*Shrug* I had almost only good experiences with online-dates. Yet I hear the people curse about them all the time. I don't know .. maybe I choose my guys better? Maybe I talk to much to them before meeting :confused:
 
thatcrap said:
So, I'm an idiot. I was talking to this guy who I met on a4a for a couple weeks. It turned out we both work together in the same facility, but I've never met him before, as it is a big place.

He instantly answers any text message I send him and seemed like a great guy who is genuinely interested in getting to know me. I was suppose to meet him at his place tonight at 6PM. I text him for directions, no response. Try again, no response... still waiting. Now, I'm pissed and I honestly feel hurt.

This has happened to me before. Note to all, do NOT bother with on-line flakes and creeps. It's just a path of misery and disappointment. And that is today's lesson.
Click to expand...

hey, maybe his cell was broken or he forgot to bring it somewhere!

;)
 
Or maybe he was genuinely interested, but suffers from anxiety problems and tends to self-defeatingly opt out of situations to spare him from possible embarrassment, only causing him regret after regret, which in the end are gradually filling his life with despair? (Not that I know of any of that first hand)

You never know what his situation may have been. Sometimes people are just weird.

.
 
don't take online meets too seriously.

If one don't reply, go to the next one.
 
If I can get lucky online, you can.
 
Hey, things happen. Maybe his phone broke, maybe he got caught up with something at work, maybe maybe maybe. Give him a chance to get back with you and explain.

Oh, and that texting device you use? Most have another function that enable you to actually talk to one another. Perhaps give that a go. ;) ..|

Lex
 
Corny said:
*Shrug* I had almost only good experiences with online-dates. Yet I hear the people curse about them all the time. I don't know .. maybe I choose my guys better? Maybe I talk to much to them before meeting :confused:
Click to expand...

I like to get to know guys a fair bit before meeting them as well. But still... the failure rate is rather high. So many guys turn out to be major flakes. Either it's something I say, or the internet has raised an entire generation of gay guys to be flakey.

Personally, I think it's #2.
 
I think the internet is making people just stupid when it comes to communication. One of my friends texted me only 3 minutes ago saying "call me". I call her and she doesn't pick up. Like WTF?

I am willing to admit I have flaked out of dates before. I would say about 60% of the reason is my work schedule. 20% is me just not in the mood (usually after work). Those times, I at least offer to reschedule a meeting. The other 20% is the person is probably "crazy". I had a guy text me like 10 times one morning while at work and I told him to contact me on my lunch break (1-2pm) about later that night. Needless to say I never met the guy and ignored his texts. It's pathetic if you can't follow simple directions as to contact me during these hours.
 
maxpowr9 said:
I think the internet is making people just stupid when it comes to communication. One of my friends texted me only 3 minutes ago saying "call me". I call her and she doesn't pick up. Like WTF?

I am willing to admit I have flaked out of dates before. I would say about 60% of the reason is my work schedule. 20% is me just not in the mood (usually after work). Those times, I at least offer to reschedule a meeting. The other 20% is the person is probably "crazy". I had a guy text me like 10 times one morning while at work and I told him to contact me on my lunch break (1-2pm) about later that night. Needless to say I never met the guy and ignored his texts. It's pathetic if you can't follow simple directions as to contact me during these hours.
Click to expand...

maybe he is just so excited.
 
Thanks for all the encouraging words guys. I did try calling him and no answer. So I just left a message asking him to just give me a call when he got a chance and said I hope you're okay. Left it at that.

He does shift work and wasn't working today. I knew that wasn't it. He called later to tell me that he was at his parents house where he couldn't get reception and lost track of time. Right.

Seemed genuine enough, but I don't know. I have a low threshold for bullshit. Not so sure I want to set myself up to get hurt again..... what to do.
 
If he gets back to you, maybe you could suggest meeting up in a public place...
 
treanir said:
I like to get to know guys a fair bit before meeting them as well. But still... the failure rate is rather high. So many guys turn out to be major flakes.
Click to expand...
I have had people who well .. were not as much fun in reality as they were online (usually the shy/nervous kind), but I had never someone not showing up.
And that better never happens, because when I have his phone number I will find my revenge :badgrin:

Hm but now I remember that one time, where I was waiting and waiting for his train and he just didn't show up. Neither did he pick up his phone or replied to text message :grrr: I thought he did flake out, but the story ended differently as you might know ;)
 
Corny said:
Hm but now I remember that one time, where I was waiting and waiting for his train and he just didn't show up. Neither did he pick up his phone or replied to text message :grrr: I thought he did flake out, but the story ended differently as you might know ;)
Click to expand...

I'm not flakey, just really really disorganised. ;)

Which is why I can handle cock-ups ans honest mistakes really well. But communication is key. Unless you're dead or in jail, I want a reason why you're not showing up. A quick text will do. But if you don't let me know why you're not going to make it... God help you.
 
Well, here's the scoop. He said he wanted to meet up again, so I told him the days I had off this week. His schedule was the opposite, but he tells me that he'll try and get off work on Tuesday so we can go out. Now I know he's full of it.

Today is Tuesday and, shockingly, I haven't heard a word. I'm done with him. Looks like I'll have to do things the old fashioned way again. Screw this online dating crap. It may work for some, but I've had nothing good come out of it.
 
Lol it so sad that I'm so familar with the same siutation. Wouldn't it be nice for some guys to have the balls to either meet up or say no thanks not interested?
 
Travisevian said:
They had plans at a specific time. This inconsiderate guy didn't give him directions to his home, didn't reply to his messages, went to visit his parents instead of preparing for his meeting @ home and claimed to lose track of time and you think he should be given the benefit of the doubt?
Click to expand...

Well you have some good points. I met a guy who I really liked Friday night and he gave me his phone number. My friends thought he was very cool and have asked me every day if I called him yet.
I have not. For one a bout a half hour after meeting him I was passed out drunk on the concrete patio at the bar wondering if it was day or night and where I was once I was picked up and thrown out.
Then after feeling better 2 days later my friend said "Did you call that guy up yet" but I didn't because I don't remember what I said but more importantly my voice was gone so I couldn't talk.
So maybe something like this happened to this A4A dude?
 
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