meeting guyz at college

[elGeniuoso1721]

if its your last semester why not go out like a slut?

hahahaa. to be completely honest....i've thought about this im actually a virgin tho, im kinda iffy about my first time being a hook-up. I don't need a special night and I'm not "saving" it, i just want to be comfortable.

i've actually noticed from what i've read on these forums that a lot of men have sex for the first time in a hook-up. is it, like, normal in the gay community (forgive me if that's sounds ignorant, but i don't know much)? am i asking for too much?
additionally....im on Gay.com, and therez a couple of gays from GSA on the site too. I don't wanna be on my profile like "looking to lose it" with those people around. It's a small group, word travels fast...it's just awkward. thoughts?

 

[KaraBulut]

... a lot of men have sex for the first time in a hook-up. is it, like, normal in the gay community (forgive me if that's sounds ignorant, but i don't know much)? am i asking for too much?

There's little that's "normal in the gay community". It's too diverse of a community to make any generalizations about.

It is not uncommon for people in your age group- male/female or gay/straight- to lose their virginity in a hookup. It has little to do with being gay, though.

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

^^^ Agreed. I actually HATE generalizations, but it was just a thought I had based on what I've read on this forum. Considering many men's first time with another man is while in the closet, it sort of made sense that these happen in hook-ups. But it definitely occurs in my age-group a lot....college kids are horny as fuck...I know, I'm one of 'em

 

[KaraBulut]

..., it sort of made sense that these happen in hook-ups. But it definitely occurs in my age-group a lot....college kids are horny as fuck...I know, I'm one of 'em

The alcohol may play a part in the hookups.

 

[Rolyo85]

I lost mine in a hook up (then lost it again bottoming in a drunken threesome with two strangers. Good times ^_^). "Hook ups" have a bad reputation, but in truth they are what you make of them. They can be friendly, and warm, and kind, and passionate, and still be a hook up. It's all about finding a good guy to do it with.

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

I lost mine in a hook up (then lost it again bottoming in a drunken threesome with two strangers. Good times ^_^). "Hook ups" have a bad reputation, but in truth they are what you make of them. They can be friendly, and warm, and kind, and passionate, and still be a hook up. It's all about finding a good guy to do it with.

Yea, you have a point, that's something I've thought about. I've kinda always held the view, and been told, that at some level hook-ups=slutty=bad. But in reality if you're responsible and comfortable it's not bad at all. Sex is natural and there's nothing wrong with enjoying it. I'd hate to be seen as a slut though. And then people have different opinions of what makes a slut, blah blah blah blah blah.

It's been years, I probably should just wait another 3 months till I transfer to Philly...

 

[Defenestrating]

It's been years, I probably should just wait another 3 months till I transfer to Philly...

Hey you never know how things will go. Just see if anything you are comfortable with happens. As for Philly, I have a lot of long time friends in the area. They say that it is very gay friendly (there are even rainbows on some of the street signs). I am sure that you will be able to find someone you are comfortable with. I am a 20 year old college student originally from the Philadelphia area with a similar situation =P. I spend a decent amount of time there so if you ever want to chat about it just send me a message and I would be happy to talk. Hope things go well for you.

-JC

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

hey guyz, so i wanted some advice as ive made some progress on my situation.

a guy near my area messaged me and we've been talking/texting since last week. he's cute and he seems cool, but our conversations are very one-sided. i try to keep a conversation going and i ask questions and he answers, but he doesn't do the same. even when i give obvious opportunities for him to ask me something, like wat my major is, nothing. i seem to know quite a bit about him, but he knows nothing about me really.

we've made clear our intentions. i told him im looking for a casual relationship but really not serious cuz im leaving, and he is just letting watever happens happen. he understands my intentions. depending on how the week went, i wanted to invite him over this weekend, but since he seems to have little interest in me...im losing interest in him.

so do you think it's worth it to continue? i mean ive got a few days but the distrustful part of me is aware that he may just want sex. and then the optimistic (also horny) side of me thinks i should try and see wat happens. thoughts?

 

[Rolyo85]

I might be wrong, but no, I don't think it's worth it. There are a lot of guys who are just out for sex, and personally I've never been able to go through with it, even if they're hot. And some have the best intentions, but are socially inapt, which also creates too much awkwardness.

If he has no interest or doesn't know how to show it, then there isn't much you can do, and it won't get better if you meet in person.

 

[ZmercTheDuke]

In the US, it's not unusual for the "hang out" place in a small town to be a Barnes & Noble bookstore.

Barnes and noble in a small town? you never lived in a rural area have you :/ were just lucky we have a 24/7 walmart in my campus town.

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

I might be wrong, but no, I don't think it's worth it. There are a lot of guys who are just out for sex, and personally I've never been able to go through with it, even if they're hot. And some have the best intentions, but are socially inapt, which also creates too much awkwardness.

If he has no interest or doesn't know how to show it, then there isn't much you can do, and it won't get better if you meet in person.

yea, these were some of my thoughts. he could tell me im cute and he wants to snuggle, but he can't ask a simple question like "wats your major?" thats like a go-to question for college students! kinda shady...and i don't play those games. if you just want sex then i am not the one. honestly, i will see how the rest of the week goes, but i've lowered my expectations for this guy.

thank you Rolyo, i've seen a lot of ur posts and i think you give some of the best advice. i appreciate ur realistic perspective

Barnes and noble in a small town? you never lived in a rural area have you :/ were just lucky we have a 24/7 walmart in my campus town.

damn dude, i know wat you mean! my college town has a Weis and a 24/7 Dunkin Donuts. thats about it hahaa. and back home, the nearest Wal-Mart was 30 minutes away :/