Memories of Courage

[Andreus]

who was the first person you told you were gay? How did it make you feel to come out of the closet to them?

The first person I told was a buddy named Tony in High School. I really thought he would turn away from me, but he was my best friend at the time. Not only did he accept me, but he introduced me to another guy our age who was gay too, and he bacame my first Boyfriend.

I am really glad I had the courage to tell him that i was gay, and I am greatfull that he had the courage to keep me as a friend.

it made my life incredibly better.

 

[spooger]

i first told 3 friends who had gathered with me at my request.....we are all awesome friends 20+ years after.....

they are all straight though.....i didn't get a boyfriend from the revelation...lol....

 

[thermodynamics]

Well, the first person I told was an acquaintance I got to know through the Klub Kahne fan site (we're both Kasey Kahne fans).

She and I, to this day, have never met face to face, but she is a fellow engineering student. So we can discuss how difficult life is in engineering, blah, blah, blah.

Since we have never met, it really didn't seem like that big of a deal.

The first person that I told in person was the [straight] guy I started to get a crush on. I don't recommend telling your straight best friend that you're "in love" with him. While we haven't had a falling out, it didn't go so hot.

Finally, last weekend, I told another gay guy that I was gay. It was the first time I'd used the words "I'm gay" to another person in the flesh. It was hard. No iffs, ands, or buts about it. But it's over with, and we're going to keep going to breakfast occasionally, which is great.

 

[thermodynamics]

My Mother.

I took her aside and told her. I told her, I felt good about it, and she was surprised but she embraced me with a hug and it just felt even better.

Awwww, that's great! I hope I have that luck too when I tell my mom! (She'll be understanding, I'm very sure).

 

[justsimon]

The first person I told was a former teacher who is now a friend. It was a relief to have someone to talk to and she gave me a lot of encouragement to come out to others.

 

[Theyoungman]

I only came out to one guy years ago when I was in Puerto Rico.

It was my best friend's childhood friend.

I was attracted to him and wanted to get as close as posible to him, but after failing many attempts, he came to my house one night and I just said "Oh screw. I'm going to tell him now".

We were both outside. I told him that I was gay and that I was attracted to him as if it didn't matter anymore. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. I just said it and he understood. HE said he was pok with it and knew alot of lesbiens from high school. I was relieved to hear that it didn't bother him at all. Of course he told me that he did not have the same feelings as I had, but I was ok with it. It felt good to come out, even if I didn't know him that well.

Anyway. After that we chatted on the phone every night for a few night. We got to know eachother better. It was strange because I thought it would be the other way dnuora.

Anyway. He is the only one that I came out to, so far... And thats it.

 

[Andreus]

you guys are really great !!

thanks for sharing such a personal moment that can be such a turning point for us all

keep them coming !!

 

[ajax49]

Since I didn't come into my own until I was 60 and divorced, I told my two sons. I knew they wouldn't have a big problem with it, because my younger son is gay and my older son majored in psychology. I've told my close friends as well. Everyone has been very accepting. I'm not totally out--60 years of playing it straight makes a lot of history--but I'm telling people on a need-to-know basis. I basically see it as my personal business and I feel no need to send engraved announcements. If I were younger and didn't have 60 years of history, I'd probably be more of a crusader.

 

[GL]

This will sound odd, but the first person I had to tell was myself. I knew it in my heart and in my head but I had not once ever said it out loud. When I did I looked around my empty apartment and laughed to myself because I was afraid someone was hiding and heard me.

After that I told my cousin who himself is gay and out. I knew that he would understand where I was coming from and sure enough, he was great. We talked a good deal and he really helped me sort out a bunch of things. And of course we talked about all the hot guys we knew from back in the day.

 

[Andreus]

sounds like alot to me, ajax!!!

 

[ajax49]

I've missed something. A lot of what?

 

[Andreus]

I've missed something. A lot of what?

courage ! it takes alot of courage to tell your sons you are Gay. that is unfathonable to me really. You are awesome

and GL...

i often forget that if you arent honest with yourself, there can be no one else to be courageous WITH

thanks for the reminder !!!

 

[ajax49]

Thanks! How quickly I forget. I'm so happy now, I forgot the torment I went through. I made the intellectual decision to start dating men, but it was more than a year before I got the courage to place an ad in the Washington Post Personals (the old online personals, which were bought up by Match.com). I was so scared and nervous on my first date--I felt like an insecure kid, not an adult with years of professional experience.

 

[GL]

and GL...

i often forget that if you arent honest with yourself, there can be no one else to be courageous WITH

thanks for the reminder !!!

Your welcome.

This above all: to thine own self be true...

William Shakespear

 

[Brijan]

I started dropping hints to a good friend while taking my B.A.
I knew she was smart enough to pick up on them, and she knew I would tell her once I was ready.
So, once I did come out and tell her, she wasn't surprised; and by extension I wasn't surprised that she wasn't surprised.

(She wasn't surprised by that either.)

From there, I told my parents, my best friend... and so on...

 

[me12121]

I still don't have enough courage to tell anyone.

 

[Andreus]

I still don't have enough courage to tell anyone.

oh you have enough courage

you just havent decided to use it yet

everything in its own time!

you are safe here as you try to figure out when that time should be

 

[ozguy]

The first ... and only .... heterosexual friend I came out to was a female friend from uni days. It was so long ago now that I can't recall the exact circumstances, but I do remember visiting her one day in her room at the residential college where she lived and telling her about my feelings for guys. She was absolutely fantastic about it (we were very close friends anyway); I think I cried, we hugged for a very long time and then I think we talked about who we thought were the hottest guys in college!

For someone who had always lived a very 'straight' life, it was a huge step for me to take and yeah, it felt good. Sadly, I haven't seen her for many, many years now as our lives ended up taking very different paths.

I still lead a very 'straight' life, as most of you know, but I can't tell you how much it means to me now to be able to be open about the gay side of me to my friends here at JUB.

Nice thread, Andreus.

 

[jwest]

i told my brother first. i cant say that i felt relieved or anything, because i came out when i was around 14, so it wasnt a big dark secret that had eaten me up inside for long. and i knew that my family wouldnt care much, weve got our share of gays in the extended family, none of which were rejected when they came out, so i wasnt really worried about a bad reaction.

 

[JakeBequette]

The first person I told were online people, it didn't matter since I would never meet them. The first person I told in my real life was my mom, I was 15 (or 14?). Looking back, I was too young to be taken seriously and she had issues dealing with it, always thinking I was confused and that I would get over it. At the time I didn't know to correct her, but I was a kid still.

I guess I told her because I thought she would know what I should do, or maybe just so she would know, or maybe just so I could get it out. I don't know. It was right after my cousin told us all she was a lesbian (and shaved her head) so I guess it was kind of easier then and I took the opportunity.

The second person I told was my friend Andrew. It was during a standardized test in 10th grade. He was hot, I had a MAJOR crush, I just assumed that if I told him I was gay, he would want me to blow him (LOL!!! God I was dumb!). He was great about it, never acted weird or anything. Poor kid probably didn't know how to react now that I think about it lol​