Men Using Gimmicks

[BabiGayPimp]

I've long observed that many men, gay and straight use visual "gimmicks" to attract attention. My definition of a visual "gimmick" is some sort of visual signature that pushes someone else's "start" button, but lacks genuine authenticity.

Examples include, "thugstyle" clothes and posturing on geeks, barb wire or tribal tattoos encircling the upper arm, "fake" muscles on otherwise unathletic guys that are developed entirely for show, cultivated stubble, and "small" T-shirts on medium and large-size guys.

I'm a big believer in packaging and pushing buttons, so gimmicks are OK with me. But it's when the men (and their admirers) start to believe that the gimmicks are authentic and begin to evaluate other people based on these phony visuals that I wonder if we're pushing this particular envelope to far.

One summer, I spotted this guy in a club who wast cut and sculpted like a statue. Everybody wanted him and, yes, I got him. We hooked up a few times that summer and had great sex. Then we drifted apart. When I saw him a couple of years later the cut physique was not, anymore. After getting reacquainted he explained to me that the look he had, when we initially met, was from damn near starving himself,while working out six days a week. He couldn't maintain the "gimmick" on a regular diet and normal workout routine

I should have known...

 

[StationToStation]

Oh that's an intense story.

Yes the gimmicks are gimmicky they are predictable and if developed turn into phoniness. I find it's better to present oneself with politeness, an open mind, and the willingness to be oneself.

 

[haberfuckingdashery]

in some cases those gimmicks are absorbed into the culture and become ideology

 

[Horschallen]

So there is a chance tht fat men make great lovers?

 

[jdbadboy]

I've long observed that many men, gay and straight use visual "gimmicks" to attract attention. My definition of a visual "gimmick" is some sort of visual signature that pushes someone else's "start" button, but lacks genuine authenticity.

Examples include, "thugstyle" clothes and posturing on geeks, barb wire or tribal tattoos encircling the upper arm, "fake" muscles on otherwise unathletic guys that are developed entirely for show, cultivated stubble, and "small" T-shirts on medium and large-size guys.

I'm a big believer in packaging and pushing buttons, so gimmicks are OK with me. But it's when the men (and their admirers) start to believe that the gimmicks are authentic and begin to evaluate other people based on these phony visuals that I wonder if we're pushing this particular envelope to far.

One summer, I spotted this guy in a club who wast cut and sculpted like a statue. Everybody wanted him and, yes, I got him. We hooked up a few times that summer and had great sex. Then we drifted apart. When I saw him a couple of years later the cut physique was not, anymore. After getting reacquainted he explained to me that the look he had, when we initially met, was from damn near starving himself,while working out six days a week. He couldn't maintain the "gimmick" on a regular diet and normal workout routine

I should have known...

I know what you mean about the "fake muscles". I've seen so many guys at the bars with clips that look like they might as well be clip ons.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

 

[BabiGayPimp]

"Gimmick" is not a word I would use to describe it. Guys do all kinds of things to project to other guys (and to themselves) who they are, or who they think they are at any given time. Tats are hard to get rid of, but makeovers with hair and clothes, etc. just attempt to say, "This is me, (or who I see myself to be - or who I would like you to see me as) right now."

We all do it. You dress for success when you interview for a job. You dress or put on a "look" to attract the kind of people you enjoy. You go to clubs or other places that attract the "types" that excite you.

I think what makes the afore-mentioned examples gimmicks, rather than natural, authentic expressions of individuality is that they are staged for visual effect, and if you look closely enough, you find that you're not getting the real thing. When I dress for success, that's really how I am. It's not a put-on.

Some of these dudes are not saying "This is me," so much as "This is who I'm trying to imitate today..." Imitation: flattery or foolery?


*Guys who dress thugstyle because that is their natural look and influence are authentic. I get that. However, geeky, gorky, dorky guys sporting a thugstyle that's foreign even to them are engaging in gimmickry.

*Guys who look muscular under their clothes because they are muscular are authentic. But, Guys who look somethat muscled on the toro because they're wearing shirts two sizes too small, and their legs and forearms are scrawny and underdeveloped are engaging in gimmickry. They're saying "look at my guns," but where's the rest of the battleship?

*Guys with stubble and tattoos that have grown out of a real lifestyle or occupation (Marines, lumberjacks, etc.) are authentic, the real deal, versus somebody who just pops up with that look overnight for no reason other than to imitate what they saw in a magazine; engaging in gimmickry.

And don't get me started on the guys who stop eating so they they can look cut up from the butt up for one summer only.

Gimmickry. Not a real, sustainable personal style; not the realness.

And now I hear gay men are wearing corsets to look "tight," and getting pec implants. All personal choices, but it's still good to know truth from fiction, is all.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Hint: you can usually tell fake arm muscles my looking at the wrists and forearms. If a man has huge biceps and triceps, but forearms and wrists like a teenage debutante in a sleeveless gown = fake arm muscles.

 

[swerve]

Oh that's an intense story.

Yes the gimmicks are gimmicky they are predictable and if developed turn into phoniness. I find it's better to present oneself with politeness, an open mind, and the willingness to be oneself.

You are WISER beyond your years...

It took me awhile to figure that out about you -- well, until we had the "hypocrisy" discussion anyways...

I agree 100% with your answer...

 

[nialltt]

This is a question I ask myself all the time. Am I working out to be healthy or is it to look good? In the beginning I did it to be healthy but now I think im doing it to look good. I used to just run before but then I started working out and the muscles look nice ....But then I realized I just hate running now due to it being winter and I am still eating healthy. If you don't like it don't go for them....

 

[BabiGayPimp]

^
^
Yes, I did fall into the trap and helped to enable the illusion. I truly belived this guy's fitness model was a natural state of equilibrium he achieved through years of good living. I never considered the possibility that the look was artifically and rapidly attained through near starvation dieting and extreme workouts (and Lord knows what else).

It's not so much a question of not liking guys who have gimmicky things going on as not being consciously aware of the charade and being suprised later on.

I went after a guy with magnificent looking "muscles" that I could see through his tight body shirt. Once I got him into bed and he took off that shirt and the suspension effect ceased, his whole body shape instantly kind of settled into a more jellied state. Good God Almighty! Talk about smoke and mirrors!

 

[MindBlast]

This is a question I ask myself all the time. Am I working out to be healthy or is it to look good? In the beginning I did it to be healthy but now I think im doing it to look good. I used to just run before but then I started working out and the muscles look nice ....But then I realized I just hate running now due to it being winter and I am still eating healthy. If you don't like it don't go for them....

I do both. I work out to be healthy AND look good. Since I was 14 years old actually.

And I wear T-shirts that are a size down, or ones that are meant to fit tight. I do a lot of things to make myself look sexier. The only thing that doesn't match is the assumptions people make about me. They assume because I'm dressed the way I am and look the way I do that I'm looking for casual sex. That is not the case.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

And this is why gay men have a reputation for being a bunch of bitchy queens. Instead of being supportive of each other, we find ways to cut ourselves down usually due to our own low self esteem.

"Oh, great biceps but look at those scrawny calves."

"Yah, he's in great shape but I can't believe he wears those shoes to the gym."

"Nice muscles. Too bad he developed them in a gym. They aren't real like the ones on my landscaper who lifts heavy plants and stones all day."

Etc, etc.

If someone is doing his best to look good and feel better about himself, don't cut him down or be judgmental. Enough already!

Calm down princess. An observation is not evil because it's critical. People making sincere efforts at personal improvement are worthy of praise. These other types I'm describing are tricky cheaters. That's not an intrinsically bad thing. But when you start believing your own hype and unfavorably evaluating others through the cloudy lens of your own fakery, you make yourself a target for the kind of just criticism I've leveled.

 

[NineOfClubs]

Great thread!

But instead of gimmick, I prefer the word "artifice".