Met a really cute guy, came out of the closet, want to get closer but how?

[SushiSweets]

Last week I had to drop something off to my swimmer friend Sarah. She does high school swimming and we're practically best friends. Anyways, when I went to drop it off at the pool lobby in our school, this guy approached her and hugged her. He said something along the lines of "Sarah's my baby" and I joked saying that her mother must have been really ugly then. She laughed and he said something like "Too bad gay people can't have kids" and then it clicked, this guy was gay.

I went to Sarah's house after school and asked her more about him. I'd never told her I was gay before but when she asked me if I liked him, I said yes. She thought it was adorable and said we'd make a great couple so the next day she asked him what he thought of me. He said I was really cute and so I decided that the next day I'd hang out with him more. I made sure she told him I was shy because this was my first gay relationship EVER and I was still partially in the closet.

So the next day after school I went with Sarah to the pool and he was there. I was so nervous that I couldn't even make eye contact with him and I walked right past him to Sarah and I was so nervous. Then he came up and asked me, "Chris, can you help me with something?" and of course I said yes. I guess I just needed him to make the first move. So I helped him with some pool duties and then I had to go. I later texted my friend's phone saying that I really hoped he liked me and that he was really nice and I guess at the time he had her phone so he texted back, "he says u r pretty cute" and it wasn't until later that I found out it was him. I was so happy.

So like things have been starting to get more physical, in the sense that we play footsie, he tickles me, sits on my lap, we hug but how can I get the courage to finally kiss him and how can I ask him out? Like right now we're "talking" but we haven't officially started dating. Also, every time I call him he always seems hurried to get off the phone and I know he lives with his grandparents but do you have any idea why that is? Like our longest conversation on the phone has been 10 minutes while in person it's been 4 hours.

 

[Grey_Sky]

Oh, that's so cute, the first experience...

Just ask him out or, if you don't think you could do it yet, just give him some hints you want to go out with him some day. Say something like: wow, it's been a long time since i have gone to the movies, do you know if there's something good on lately?

And enjoy your moments with him, don't be to eager ar anxious arround him, he seems to like you too and that's just great!

I whish you two the best of luck together.

Cheers!

 

[SushiSweets]

Aww, like this first time is just so exciting. I find myself constantly thinking about him. Like every second. But what about the whole not talking on the phone much. Do you know the reason? =/ Also, how should I kiss? I've never kissed someone before in my life and I don't want to come off as a bad kisser.

 

[racer2438]

Dont Act To Coy, Just Be You, Tell Him How You Feel. Act Natural. He Wants To Me You, The Real You And You Want The Real Him.

Your Big Boys, Dont Act Like Little Kids. Enkoy Ea Other And Have Fun. Hopefully Some Real Good Sex.

What Are You Waiting For----stop Reading This And Call Him---now--.. Go

 

[isuckmen]

I agree with everything Grey Sky said...

And keep in mind, some people hate talking on the phone... I for sure do, I cant see what the other persons reaction is so it is kinda hard for me to talk... Just keep that in mind...

-ISM

Oh and Good luck, he definitly seems to like you...

 

[photofoolus]

There are a lot of people that aren't fans of talking on the phone. Personally, I like to just hang out with a guy and have a conversation in person. I've had long phone conversations before, but it usually is just me saying, "Uh-huh" or monosyllabic answers, which is weird because I have a communications masters degree.

As for getting that first kiss and being shy at the same time. Next time he sits in your lap or something, give him a quick peck on his neck. He'll get the hint (hopefully) and he'll make the move for your lips. I've tried this and for me it works.

 

[SushiSweets]

Any advice on how to "romantically" ask him out?

 

[RukkuS]

im sure he's just not a big phone person. I absolutely hate talking on the phone unless we're handling business or making plans...don't take it personally.

 

[isuckmen]

Oh crap... i suck at romantic beginnings... So no help here... I can be blunt or tricky... Sorry

 

[isuckmen]

Oh Oh I think I got an idea!

Try and get the girl that you are friends with to... After like a swimming meet or somethin... to ask all of your other friends if they want to go somewhere but not specifically ask you two... Then look at him and ask if he would like to come with you... Then after everybody goes and does whatever it is that your friend suggests ask him if he would like to do somethin like that again... Say catch a movie, or grab somethin to eat...

I dunno, but you could probably construct somethin like that... Maybe?

 

[Grey_Sky]

Any advice on how to "romantically" ask him out?

"Hey, do you know about that new place that just oppened? I've been wanting to go there and I would really enjoy if you could come with me!"

Not the best one but, hey, it's almost 2am here and I'm tired, lol

 

[SushiSweets]

Like the problem with all these first date ideas is the fact that he lives with his grandparents and has to go home right after school. Do you think a relationship at school alone would be enough? =/

 

[SushiSweets]

Also, my friend asked us who would be "catcher" and who would be "pitcher" and neither of us know. How can we find out?

 

[SushiSweets]

Also, unfortunately he smokes. Any ideas on how I can get him to stop?

 

[Eagle653]

Also, unfortunately he smokes. Any ideas on how I can get him to stop?

LOL, whoa. First things first.

You just met him and are trying to craft a relationship. Save life-alternating requests for changes until (much) later. My guess it'd be a total turn off for you to mention his smoking, in a disapproving way, for a while. Unless his second-hand smoke makes you physically ill or something. Then, that's like being allergic to someone and the whole thing's doomed from the get-go.

Anyway, one thing a time. Get established and built some rapport and, as time goes along, annoying things about both of you will come up in conversation in due time. I guarantee it.

 

[SushiSweets]

Well as far as his smoking, I've just been like, "Aww baby, you shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you." But now I guess I'll stop.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Sushi... Welcome to JUB and the forum mate...its great to have you posting!

Average guy is right mate...Whoa! Dont get too far ahead of yourself! And stop worrying... its such an easy thing to do but you are thinking way too far ahead and missing whats happening right here and now...

Dont worry about kissing or catching... dont try and plan too much or too far forward. Right now let yourself feel what its like to have hope, to have found someone you really care about and someone who likes you. Stop for a sec and just soak up whats happened. You've come out, you've found you have an awesome friend who loves you and you can trust implicitly... and you may have just found a boyfriend! Thats pretty good going mate... take a little time to soak it in...

You will have your own style of kissing... it'll come naturally too you... and I can tell you that style will subtlety vary from person to person... even your partner. Again... take it slow, feel things, your mouth, his mouth, his tongue... don't panic... just let your senses take over...respond to his pressure and movement... and he will to yours. Finding out what you both like is just part of this great journey you are on.

And as far as sex goes... well, thats something to worry about when it happens. That could be tomorrow or it could be months away... just let the thing evolve and feel your way.

Relationships are about questions and answers, listening and learning. No one knows all there is to know... if they did the other would get sick of them very quickly. He wont expect you to be an expert... the same as you dont expect that of him. Making things up as you go along is the best part!

So Sushi...take it slow mate. Your progress so far has been awesome. But now you need to slow up a bit... relax, enjoy the ride and the journey. Dont push too hard or you risk pushing him away. Talk to him, be honest with him like you have us, hell ask him what you asked us.

If you actually said how would I ask you out on a romantic date he'd tell you... and you'd know... and you would have already done it. Thats not only being honest... its being cute...

As to seeing him school only... if thats all it can be for now, then sure that will work. Things work if you want them too. Its as simple as you guys making the most of the time you have together. Again, the future will take care of itself... who knows what holidays and weekends have in store...

Things are going well Sushi... soak it in. Really enjoy these moments... and let your freindship and relationship build. You dont have to rush... you've got all the time in the world.

 

[boy-i-wanna-make-u-sweat]

With the smoking thing, be prepared for the taste of his mouth. I'm not saying it will be a problem, just that smokers taste very dfferent depending on how much they smoke.

 

[Aaron]

If you actually said how would I ask you out on a romantic date he'd tell you... and you'd know... and you would have already done it. Thats not only being honest... its being cute...

Beat me to it!

 

[mac_twck]

Like the problem with all these first date ideas is the fact that he lives with his grandparents and has to go home right after school. Do you think a relationship at school alone would be enough? =/

If his grandparents do not know that he is gay, the two of you hanging around together would just be two friends hanging out together. Most straight people do not "see" the two guys together as being gay unless they know about it.

As for the asking out on a date thing, as him to a school function ie. basketball game, play, etc. then afterwards you can go grab a coffee and sit and chat for as long as you want. The grandparents would hopefully allow him to go to a school function with his friends.

Mac