Meth addiction and party play and how to control it.

[dirtyblond91]

I love Tina. I love the culture. But I'm a struggling addict. I did the 1st time in 6 months today but I know some can do it in moderation?

 

[dirtyblond91]

I relapsed today after 2 months of no pnp. I forgot how enjoyable certain people are. Is it possible to do it in moderation?

 

[dirtyblond91]

I gell asleep at 9:40am. I feel like shit. Heart is racing. But I'm with my sponsor.

 

[dirtyblond91]

I fell asleep at 9:40am. I feel like shit. Heart is racing. But I'm with my sponsor.

 

[KaraBulut]

I relapsed today after 2 months of no pnp. I forgot how enjoyable certain people are. Is it possible to do it in moderation?

Honestly, very little about PnP and, in particular, meth is moderate. After seeing meth use in many people for nearly 50 years, there are not many things that I have seen that are more destructive.

When you quit two months ago, did you do without a support system? Why do you think you relapsed.

 

[dirtyblond91]

With a guy who I with a year ago. He's actually a good friend. He hosted an orgy. I was proud of my sobriety and had know urge to use. A hot guy puffed the pipe and the urge came roaring back. Me and the host argued if I should. He regretfully told me I'm an adult and so I blew a cloud.

My sponsor and I had a meeting for 2 hours at my place. She just left (730pm).

 

[KaraBulut]

My sponsor and I had a meeting for 2 hours at my place. She just left (730pm).

That's the answer that I was looking for. A sponsor and a program will help as your work through this.

What a lot of people in your place discover is that they begin having a new circle of friends who are focused on sobriety. That often means keeping a distance from friends who are still using. A

s you found out, finding your triggers are also a key part of avoiding relapses. Being around people who are using is one of your triggers and that's going to be key to avoiding relapses as you continue to focus on your sobriety. Finding behaviors that are healthy to replace the unhealthy behaviors is also going to be key.

 

[frankifab]

I don't know much about Meth , but if you were able to be clean from it for 2 months , you can continue avoiding that drug , if you relapsed for one day or two , it doesn't mean you have to get hooked on it back again , stay strong and try to be free from it for 2 months more . Challenge yourself , you can do it ! However , if you feel you cannot manage it by yourself I think you should seek professional help . I think relapse is common in patients who are trying to quit drugs , but as I said , I believe the thing is not to let that single time relapse drag you back to a chaotic trap .

 

[hungry4darkmeat]

It’s entirely up to you how you interact with substances. You’re human and it’s not so be a grown up and exercise your free will. If you’re finding it extremely difficult to do so, you should probably consider therapy - addiction equals pain plus learned relief so if you address the pain issues (emotional, physical or otherwise) you will find that your compulsion towards the substance will start to wane. I’ve been through it all and I speak from experience.

I never bought into the whole 12 step thing cause I won’t accept that the actual drug is the problem and none of us are powerless over ourselves and therefore we are not powerless over an innocuous substance that can’t force itself into our bodies. Choose different if you want different results.

 

[KaraBulut]

...I never bought into the whole 12 step thing cause I won’t accept that the actual drug is the problem and none of us are powerless over ourselves and therefore we are not powerless over an innocuous substance that can’t force itself into our bodies. Choose different if you want different results.

I generally don't like to respond to other members offering advice but I did want to explain the meaning of the first of the twelve steps: "1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable."

Over the years, I've heard a lot of friends say, "I only do it on weekends" or "I've got it under control" or "just this one time", which is part of how self-delusion is part of the cycle of addiction.

The first step not "powerless over ourselves", it's an admission that the person has reached a point in their substance use where they have lost control over their substance use. It's not that the person cannot change, it's an admission that they need to make changes. Or put to it another way, "I need help" and "admitting it is the first step".

Step 1 A.A. Why the 12-step Journey Begins with Powerlessness | FHE Health

The AA first step is powerlessness, but what does that mean? Find out how you can manage the 1st step in AA with this handy guide.

fherehab.com

I've merged a couple of threads together to help put together some of the pieces of what is happening.

I mentioned in a post above that "triggers" become a integral part of party and play (PnP). It's key to understanding the relationship in urban gay culture between sex and drugs like meth. It's very much like alcohol and smoking- it's two addictive behaviors that get connected in the brain, which is why you will hear a lot of people say that even though they have quit smoking, going to a bar or drinking will bring on a craving for a cigarette.

Part of what makes PnP and, in particular meth addiction, tough to break is the connection between sex and drug use. While everyone wants to have a healthy and pleasurable sex life, when drug use gets associated to sex in the brain, then sex can become a trigger for relapse.

Self-help programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous acknowledge that we are all imperfect, we make mistakes and falling off the wagon can happen. But it's important to always return to that first step when relapses happen which is why I was glad to hear that the call to his sponsor was made and that the sponsor dropped everything and came over.

 

[hungry4darkmeat]

Acknowledged and respected- but I can’t see the world that way and I think a lot of people have the same issue with the 12 step process. Look I grew up going to meetings with my mom after she got sober and she stayed sober for over forty years. But she never got the treatment she really needed, and AA basically became her replacement for drinking. Then when she got sick she fought me tooth and nail before finally agreeing to try cannabis for her chemo side effects and had to keep it secret from her program friends.

I appreciate that it helps some people and can be a good first step but one thing I learned in the program is that ADDICTION EQUALS PAIN PLUS LEARNED RELIEF. Until you address the unresolved trauma at the root of the addiction you will never actually get well. You may get better, but you’ll never get to the next level, where you have conquered your trauma and the substance that you were a slave to has no power over you anymore. I’ve been deeply traumatized and have been through years of therapy to process it and find healthy ways to cope with the residuals. I’m all for anything that helps but imho if you’re going to go through a whole process why not try to fully heal rather than just find a support group that makes you accept that you’re powerless when you really aren’t. You may be powerless right now but every day is a new opportunity to do something different and choose to evolve. I’ve found that when folks join programs they think they’ve done the work but the truth is you have only found a different coping mechanism without ever addressing the underlying emotional psychological and physical trauma that you continue to carry until you actually address it head on.
Like I said all credit to those who find it helpful and no disrespect meant but it’s basically a cult and its religious underpinnings are - to me anyway- a distinction that actually delays or prevents the actual resolution of the underlying pain. Address the pain and the need for learned relief should subside.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

I relapsed today after 2 months of no pnp. I forgot how enjoyable certain people are. Is it possible to do it in moderation?

If you have to ask the question, probably not.

Those that can do moderation tend to be the people who don't fall into addiction to begin with.

Used meth myself... but so far not addicted.

 

[Hornypossum]

I love Tina. I love the culture. But I'm a struggling addict. I did the 1st time in 6 months today but I know some can do it in moderation?

Yo, I'm not gonna pretend I know much about what you're going through and you should feel free to ignore this if you're in a good place where you're making progress (whatever that looks like), but:
How are you?

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Yo, I'm not gonna pretend I know much about what you're going through and you should feel free to ignore this if you're in a good place where you're making progress (whatever that looks like), but:
How are you?

Last time @dirtyblond91 was here was 19th of December of 2024. I doubt we'll hear from him again.

 

[KaraBulut]

Last time @dirtyblond91 was here was 19th of December of 2024. I doubt we'll hear from him again.

Sad, but true. There's at least the hope that he had called his sponsor and was getting help.