Mildly embarrassing secrets

[freefall]

I was explaining about acquiring semen for in vitro fertilisation to a girl and she just can't grasp how to extract the semen, so I yelled (a bit irritated), "You just have to jerk the penis!"

The word penis is accented.

Everyone stared at me, including the lecturer.

I don't remember what happened after.

 

[jdcnow]

Freefall, I think the expression on the face of the lady in your avatar is pretty much my reaction.

she just can't grasp how to extract the semen

 

[Poozy1]

Once while waiting inline for a rollercoaster I was beside a air valve/tank/thing and it went off beside me and I screamed and everybody inline stared at me. Gawd that was embarrasing!

 

[GM1985]

I cry during sad scenes in movies or a really good bit of television. REALLY embarassing.

I don't really watch TV but when I do it's something I'm a fan of i.e. Dexter, CSI etc and love movies too.

I get so engrossed in the characters and storylines etc that I get sad at sad bits and could have a good greet if I wanted to XD

Though I don't think it's anything to be embarrassed about

One of my embarrassing secrets is: When I have my iPod on in the house and come across a mirror, I stand and lip synch to the music XD

 

[hylas]

some of my underwear is about ten years old, still from the days when my mother bought underwear for me.

 

[chace1617]

i have three nipples :-( the third one is really close to the original nipple and it's like my nipple had a baby...

i thought it was a good idea to pretend being Madonna dancing vogue in front of my friends... don;t really know why i did this but i realized it was awkward when i finished dancing the song...

 

[ibill1]

I was home, back in Pa. last Christmas and on Christmas eve the whole family was gathered at my brothers and taking pictures. My sister-in-law had made those little smoked sausages and I was standing by the table as they were getting together for a photo. They said they wanted me in the picture and as I was walking over I blurted out "Wait until I get this weiner out of my mouth" followed by, "I don't believe I just said that", everyone, except the kids, got it and busted out laughing. I was red in the photo.

 

[Lefty]

Look Above......

There you have the Chaz and his autobiography.

The book is much longer and thicker (sound familiar?)

And it chronicles his daze...literally 'blow by blow'

from SlutPpuppy to full fledged HornDog....some of the 'tails'

in the book will make you grab a seat and your stick, others

will just grab and make your seat sticky.

My name is Lefty and I approved this Ad.

Sincerely,


Sinestra Ex Libris

 

[Kyanimal]

My name is Lefty and I approved this Ad.

Sincerely,


Sinestra Ex Libris

And, an autographed copy of my book is on it's way! Well ... as soon as I write it! O.K.! How about the check's in the male?

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[Críostóir]

As for dancing to the theme tune of a TV show (whatever NCIS is) ... what's wrong with that?

I'm pudgy and usually naked when I'm home by myself.

 

[EJMichaels]

And, an autographed copy of my book is on it's way! Well ... as soon as I write it! O.K.! How about the check's in the male?

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

Well, get busy writing it! Or, I suppose you could run the camera and act it out. . .
No, definitely the book. There's no DVD player near my bed.

 

[strack800]

I made up a dance routine to Missy Elliotts' Funky Fresh Dressed.

(can't remember it though, and even if i could, no one would EVER SEE IT)

when i was 14 my friend melanie danced and lip synched on video to Lose Control by Missy Elliot. only i was dressed up as missy and she was dressed as the random rapper in the background. i had my hair in little tiny pigtails too...

 

[Lefty]

"eJ" Chaz is current with electronic stuff baby...don't let him rope you

into that 'male scheme of his. He can iPod or tweet/text you...no dvd needed.

and Big C.....a little jiggle makes for a great wiggle....I'd love to watch.

NO, NO, NO Chaz...you lie to often.. the last time you said my Cheq was

in the male it turned out it was a HUNGarian and you sent him C.O.D.

I am not some dumb cow in Wisconsin you can give a bum steer to and

milk the old bull for what you can get. That is udderly not going to happen

this time farm boy.



(god help me before I type again amen)

 

[Kyanimal]

Well, get busy writing it! Or, I suppose you could run the camera and act it out. . .
No, definitely the book. There's no DVD player near my bed.

How about an audio version, in deep silky tones?

(god help me before I type again amen)

Don't stop NOW! You're definitely on a Roll! (Spicy cinnamon, it would seem, no less!)

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[kevbo]

I know all the words to "C'est La Vie" by B*Witched

 

[EJMichaels]

How about an audio version, in deep silky tones?

My partner doesn't mind me reading that stuff in bed, but the audio version could be, um... inappropriate.

 

[Lefty]

His.....or......

your partners?


Inquiring Minds want to know.

 

[number42]

Well, yesterday i was teaching a kid english (i'm a private teacher), and i had his book open in front of me, but all of a sudden this watery snot starts running down my nose, on his book!

I was all wtf is happening! Now i'm lying in bed with high fever... I don't think he'll be using that book any time soon... He'd rather fail the course then plow trough my mucus.

sorry if that was too gross.

 

[Lefty]

OH SHIT......

I hope that isn't a computer virus. Talk about biological warfare and

international incidents..........

And Evie...the pics of you aren't for you...jeez, don't be such a damn

dummy......YOU know what you look like....thats why they invented

the mirror...............duh.


lol on both of you.

 

[EJMichaels]

His.....or......

your partners?


Inquiring Minds want to know.

Please restate question...