Mildly embarrassing secrets

[Lefty]

so why is it embarrassing to find something right where you put it for
safe keeping.

Embarrassing is when I went to a nude beach and discovered that my

penis was an indiscriminate whore with little self control and would dribble

at the drop of a hat....or a top..or towel or....well, it was embarrassing.

 

[jdcnow]

so why is it embarrassing to find something right where you put it for
safe keeping.

It's embarrasing how many times things like this happen to me.
At 28, my brain should be sharper than this.

 

[jdcnow]

I'm not near as intelligent as my family members and some friends think I am.

On that, I would beg to differ. Mmmmwwwaaaaaaa!

 

[Lefty]

Why is that JD?

Why should you be any smarter just because you are 28?

I am almost 60 and my dick is still indiscriminate.

Age is not the panacea all you young people seem to think....

now where the fuck

did I leave my car and speedos this time?

 

[jdcnow]

Me + college days + boxer sniffing fetish + hot guys in my dorms= fun times!


Enough said.

I actually did this once with a male classmate's underwear in a condo on a high school band road trip. Everybody else was gone. I was in our condo by myself. Fun times, indeed...

 

[jdcnow]

How was he? or his undies rather...

OMG, the memories it brings back... Just knowing he wore those... He was hot back then, and even cuter years later. I ran into him at the mall once. And he never knew a thing.

I'm telling you, there's something about getting to smell the...uhhh 'essense' of a hot guy. it's like a drug!

I know those couple times I did it in college, it was like I was on a high of some sort.

I know, right! There was just something about his scent mixed with the colonge he wore,,,just...(excuse me for a minute... )

 

[Lefty]

Gosh...........

um JD and Neo...

could I offer you a special price on a signed limited edition

of my new Blockbuster ....I'm going to be signing copies at

Barneys and Ignobles tomorrow so, as a special for jubbers

today only, a signed first edition of

Scents and Centsibility can be yours for three (03) monthly

payments of $19.95 in U.S. funds.....shipping and handling inclusive.

 

[RonR18]

There is one JUBber who I once dreamed of having sex with.

 

[Lefty]

Oh Ronnie.............okay, bend over honey

 

[strangepoetry]

I hadn't seen this phenomenal thread until today...and let me just say, Thank you, dear Lord, for blessing the world with da Internets.

I mean, my whole brain sharted when I read these:

-I've snuck my mom's dildo and done ass-to-mouth with it multiple times before, without a condom (yes, I cleaned it each time).

-I eat my boogers, and honestly don't see anything wrong with it (they taste OK, but I love the bacony texture).

Those are just so rightly wrong...I can't be expected to safely process all this stuff at once

-I like the 1-day old smell of my own spit, dick, balls, and ass.

Just one question: where do you get one-day old spit? Do you SAVE it? Doesn't spit dry out?

Enquiring minds want to know...
_________________________________________________

As for myself, I also have the crying thing. Sappy moments in movies and TV shows make me tear up, but NOTHING in real life causes a single drop.

(Trying to think of others...)

 

[chace1617]

I hate pics of me. Part of the reason why I change my avatars so often. I'm so critical of them. I sometimes log on and go: you look like shit in that pic. But I don't want to use pics of any model or anything else.

i think you look hot

 

[Lefty]

Now, about Elvin..............

if we could only get him to change his shorts

as often as he changes his pictures......

He is so shy, out in the public

when he goes pee.....he closes his eyes and uses

the hand of the guy at the next urinal to aim him.

He lost the family fortune investing in franchises for

Coveralls.... his stores were in New York at

Cherry Grove on Fire Island

and the main store at

Empire Haven Resort.

 

[strangepoetry]

Thought of a good one about myself:

I go through EXTREMELY anti-social phases. Meaning, I have lots of really good friends, but sometimes I go to great lengths to avoid all people in general.

Will not set up voicemail on my phone. Rarely answer calls. NEVER answer land line--NEVER! Check emails about once a month (over 200 in Inbox now, haven't even looked at one from my MOM).

I never seek men or boyfriends and I'm convinced that's the reason one always seems to materialize from nowhere, because I'd often rather be alone.

Getting close emotionally to people is psychologically exhausting for me. Or something. I don't know, even pondering it is sad.

 

[sweetcar]

I've had a few REALLY embarassing moments, so I won't describe them here.
This thread did get me thinking about a few instances that were kinda embarassing, but not traumatically so....

When I was in 2nd grade, my family went on a picnic for families that worked at FDA. We lived in Brooklyn at the time, and the picnic was at a nice park somewhere in norther NJ. A pretty fun day for the most part, until, toward evening, my dad, my brother and I were playing along a steam and trying to cross the stream by walking over a tree trunk that had fallen across it.

As luck would have it, everyone made it across except me!! I fell into the stream and got soaking wet. Well, we didn't bring any extra clothes to change into. Luckily my mother had a towel and I took off my clothes and wrapped the towel around me. I had to stay that way for the rest of the picnic and on the long ride back home...I was pretty embarassed...........

Another time I was sitting on the toilet taking a dump (aboout 10 years old) the door was open and a distance away from the toilet...A bunch of the neighbor kids came in to the house, asked where I was, and my brother told them; "upstairs." Well, here they all came,,,,I think I was nude but can't remember for sure. Most of them just stood by the door and were telling me something, one boy got an embarassed look and backed away....

 

[SonOfSlobone]

Mildly embarrassing? Hmm, easier to think of things that are like totally embarrassing...

OK, here's one. I "spray" when I pee. It's gotten so I have to take my pants all the way off first so I don't get any backsplash on them. And I always use a stall instead of a urinal in public restrooms.

 

[LilBit]

^I almost always sit down to pee. I have terrible aim.

 

[Críostóir]

^I almost always sit down to pee. I have terrible aim.

Try putting a little float (like a fishing bobber) in the bowl, secured with a wire. It will improve your aim.

Actually probably be better to paint a target.

 

[Lefty]

Lefty walks away

His body shaking

His mind spinning...My god, they left it wide open

no...no...no... these are good people

cut them some slack....just take a breath

deep...and walk away smartass.

 

[Kyanimal]

Earlier, JDC was talking about what I call "brain farts". What's embarrassing is getting them in Public! And, as I've aged, they are happening more, and more, often! For instance, I'll be talking and forget what word I was about to say next! As my brain falls silent, so does the conversation, and I'm sure my face goes "blank", too!

Unfortunately, I'm not yet senile enough to NOT realize what's happening. And, yet, there is Nothing I can do about it!

SO ... I'll just chuckle! I'll explain what just happened, and ask if anyone can help with a word that means "such and such", and starts with a given letter.

All I can do is take it in stride, and it seems to amuse everyone else!

All the more reason to ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[Críostóir]

Earlier, JDC was talking about what I call "brain farts". What's embarrassing is getting them in Public! And, as I've aged, they are happening more, and more, often! For instance, I'll be talking and forget what word I was about to say next! As my brain falls silent, so does the conversation, and I'm sure my face goes "blank", too!

Today I drew a blank on my sister-in-law's name. Fortunately I wasn't talking to her. I think for me it happens with names when I've recently heard the name applied to someone else.