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Hey, Marv! 
I've been reading, but not posting, until now, that you've mentioned your age, which gives me a better perspective. I can assure you there is no need to feel awkward, or hesitant. You're still quite young, and there is SO much yet ahead for You!
I've posted my own story here, several times, but would like to tell you about it, to offer some Hope, and Encouragement. If we're both lucky, I'll manage to keep it condensed.
To give you some perspective, I was born in 1950, which means my teens and twenties perfectly coordinated with the 60s and 70s. "Free Love", "Flower Power", and all that "Hippie" stuff. Those times were unique, surprising, and scary, all at the same time.
I'm also a preacher's kid, which confronted me with certain Public/Social expectations. I had to be Very aware what I did, who I did it with, along with when, and where. I never knew who might be within the range of "detection". With all that temptation around me, I was living under a small spotlight, and wasn't free to explore nearly as much as I would have liked.
I was fascinated with SEX, of all kinds! And, maybe even a bit more than most because it was "naughty", which increased it's attraction, at least for me. "Like a moth to a flame!"
Through my teens I was fulfilling the expectations of me, dating cheerleaders, and the other "hot" girls. Since we moved every three to five years, there was always a new "batch" just waiting to be played with.
And, there were also the few trusted guys to compare cocks, and jack off with. However, those were far less numerous than the girls I was going out with.
Thing is ... I didn't have sex with, let alone explicitly touch, anyone until I was "safely" away from home in college. I simply couldn't take that chance.
Once I was 500 mi. away from home (which proved to be not far enough), I had more than my "fair" share of "Luck" with chicks, and got blown by, and blew, a "select" few guys. Even got to fuck a dude. But, I was still holding to "expectations", most sex being hetero.
Don't get me wrong. I did LOVE my girls! Nearly married 5, or 6, of them! (No! Not at the same time!) What held me back was my knowledge that I liked guys, too, if not more. I could not commit to a girl knowing that about myself.
And, yet, while playing with those few guys, there was still a "barrier" with me getting fucked by any of them. Though it was available, it just wasn't something I was supposed to allow. That was something I'd been taught should Never happen! Not only would it be ultimately degrading, it would also hurt like Hell! (DOH!)
The first time I got my butt fucked was after I was out of college (though still 500 mi. away from my family's Public). I was 25, maybe 26, at the time. I'll just say it was a most interesting experience, nothing like what I expected, and it wasn't the last.
However, because of my own preferences, there haven't been all that many more times I've gone for that.
Though anal sex is an experience all unto its own, and I'm grateful that I KNOW what it's like, through being lucky to have played with several different guys, both topping and bottoming, it's also not one of those things high on my "dance card".
I "gave up" on the females when I turned 30, and went 100% Gay, finally admitting what I knew all along. I met "My Guy" two years later, and we've been together ever since, with some other friends involved, now and again, too.
My entire point in posting this to You is that you're still Young, and have the entire rest of your Life in front of you. No matter what your past may have been, what might happen, from here on out, is entirely up to YOU! You have a LOT of TIME to go, yet!
Bottom line (no pun intended), there are SO Many possibilities awaiting you. If another dude might show interest, and there WILL be one, or more, don't automatically hit the brakes. Relax, consider, and allow yourself to open up to the potentials.
Also, keep in mind it will likely happen exactly when your not looking for, or expecting, it to happen. Just try to stay open to the chance when it cums along.
If you're feeling shy, chances are He is, too. And, that fact that you don't have experience might be more of an attraction than you realize. Do not be hesitant to let Him know that. Honesty really is the best policy at all times, in all situations.
I am wishing YOU The Very Best!
Please keep us posted, and letting us know what's on your mind!
Of course ... No Matter What ...
Keep Smilin'!!
Chaz
I've been reading, but not posting, until now, that you've mentioned your age, which gives me a better perspective. I can assure you there is no need to feel awkward, or hesitant. You're still quite young, and there is SO much yet ahead for You!
I've posted my own story here, several times, but would like to tell you about it, to offer some Hope, and Encouragement. If we're both lucky, I'll manage to keep it condensed.
To give you some perspective, I was born in 1950, which means my teens and twenties perfectly coordinated with the 60s and 70s. "Free Love", "Flower Power", and all that "Hippie" stuff. Those times were unique, surprising, and scary, all at the same time.
I'm also a preacher's kid, which confronted me with certain Public/Social expectations. I had to be Very aware what I did, who I did it with, along with when, and where. I never knew who might be within the range of "detection". With all that temptation around me, I was living under a small spotlight, and wasn't free to explore nearly as much as I would have liked.
I was fascinated with SEX, of all kinds! And, maybe even a bit more than most because it was "naughty", which increased it's attraction, at least for me. "Like a moth to a flame!"
Through my teens I was fulfilling the expectations of me, dating cheerleaders, and the other "hot" girls. Since we moved every three to five years, there was always a new "batch" just waiting to be played with.
And, there were also the few trusted guys to compare cocks, and jack off with. However, those were far less numerous than the girls I was going out with.
Thing is ... I didn't have sex with, let alone explicitly touch, anyone until I was "safely" away from home in college. I simply couldn't take that chance.
Once I was 500 mi. away from home (which proved to be not far enough), I had more than my "fair" share of "Luck" with chicks, and got blown by, and blew, a "select" few guys. Even got to fuck a dude. But, I was still holding to "expectations", most sex being hetero.
Don't get me wrong. I did LOVE my girls! Nearly married 5, or 6, of them! (No! Not at the same time!) What held me back was my knowledge that I liked guys, too, if not more. I could not commit to a girl knowing that about myself.
And, yet, while playing with those few guys, there was still a "barrier" with me getting fucked by any of them. Though it was available, it just wasn't something I was supposed to allow. That was something I'd been taught should Never happen! Not only would it be ultimately degrading, it would also hurt like Hell! (DOH!)
The first time I got my butt fucked was after I was out of college (though still 500 mi. away from my family's Public). I was 25, maybe 26, at the time. I'll just say it was a most interesting experience, nothing like what I expected, and it wasn't the last.
However, because of my own preferences, there haven't been all that many more times I've gone for that.
Though anal sex is an experience all unto its own, and I'm grateful that I KNOW what it's like, through being lucky to have played with several different guys, both topping and bottoming, it's also not one of those things high on my "dance card".
I "gave up" on the females when I turned 30, and went 100% Gay, finally admitting what I knew all along. I met "My Guy" two years later, and we've been together ever since, with some other friends involved, now and again, too.
My entire point in posting this to You is that you're still Young, and have the entire rest of your Life in front of you. No matter what your past may have been, what might happen, from here on out, is entirely up to YOU! You have a LOT of TIME to go, yet!
Bottom line (no pun intended), there are SO Many possibilities awaiting you. If another dude might show interest, and there WILL be one, or more, don't automatically hit the brakes. Relax, consider, and allow yourself to open up to the potentials.
Also, keep in mind it will likely happen exactly when your not looking for, or expecting, it to happen. Just try to stay open to the chance when it cums along.
If you're feeling shy, chances are He is, too. And, that fact that you don't have experience might be more of an attraction than you realize. Do not be hesitant to let Him know that. Honesty really is the best policy at all times, in all situations.
I am wishing YOU The Very Best!
Please keep us posted, and letting us know what's on your mind!
Of course ... No Matter What ...
Keep Smilin'!!
Chaz
