Minnesota Teen Commits Suicide because of homophobia...

[fetaby]

Another one.

Read about Corey here.

I've decided to make a thread for suicides I come across as I stumble through my news cycles. I don't have a large circle of feeds, but I do notice some articles that aren't getting through to here.

 

[Ninja108]

And the sad thing..the religious reich and their ilk won't give a damn. THey will see it as them killing themselves because they know they aren't right.
It couldn't possibly have anything to do with hearing how gays and lesbians deserve to burn in hell and are responsible for every bad thing under the sun.

 

[Lube]

A well researched and informative article about a real tragedy. Sounded like such a nice kid.

I wish I could reach out to all the young adults with doubts and give them a big hug and tell them it's all right. It does get better.

Rochester, Minnesota, isn't a big city, but it's fairly progressive. There were probably lots of resources for him there. Sounds like he tried to reach out, but for whatever reason it wasn't clicking with him.

Bullying should be stopped immediately. Kids should report it if teachers don't see it. There should be consequences for bullying.

It's crazy how we throw people in jail for possessing marijuana (which hurts no one) but we let bullying go unchallenged (which has devastating effects and to which there are real victims). How fucked up is that.

Thanks for pointing out this article.

 

[refujiunderground]

call me an asshole or because i'm not feeling too hot today but i'm sick and tired of hearing about all these bullied gay teen suicides. it's too late to save them so why are you letting me know for. people should be worried about the bullied gay teens who are still living that are suicidal. the ones that are gone really don't matter at this point. we can't do shit about the ones that are dead but we sure can do something for the ones that are living. otherwise, i don't care too hear all that depressing shit.

 

[oakpope]

Rest in peace, Jay.

I'm so mad and sad. Why bullied kids have no means to protect themselves ? Why the school didn't do a thing ? Why his dad didn't make him change school ?

There should be automatic inquiry upon first hearing of bullying act at school. No tolerance at all for these types of behaviour.

 

[refujiunderground]

Rest in peace, Jay.

I'm so mad and sad. Why bullied kids have no means to protect themselves ? Why the school didn't do a thing ? Why his dad didn't make him change school ?
There should be automatic inquiry upon first hearing of bullying act at school. No tolerance at all for these types of behaviour.

you know, to be honest with you, i think that this reflects upon us as well because it shows that some people feel isolated to the point where they're choosing to kill themselves because there's no one around to reach out to them. another thing, i think that we abandon folks that are either closeted and are struggling to come out, gay people that may be trapped in areas that are very heterosexual oriented and basically people that may be seperate in a sense from the gay community. i feel like that sometimes because really, there's no gay neighborhoods or safe havens around here for people if you aren't in school. you're pretty much by yourself. how do you make gay friends with other guys that aren't really interested in being friends with you and are more interested in fucking you? "it gets better" obviously is not enough and i can see why. telling someone that "it gets better" when they're going through tough times where the have no one to talk to is basically saying "we feel your pain because we may have been there but we're out of that now so we really don't give a shit. good luck."


how come there's no resources for gay bullied teens other than the trevor project? some of these lgbt centers if you ask me aren't doing enough. hell, they don't even advertise themselves so you have to pretty much look for them and even so, these centers really don't offer anything for gays and lesbians needing that support. there's not enough safe havens if you ask me. i'm in jersey and except for places far and few inbetween including colleges and some schools and an lgbt center depending where you go, there's NOTHING.

 

[fetaby]

call me an asshole or because i'm not feeling too hot today but i'm sick and tired of hearing about all these bullied gay teen suicides. it's too late to save them so why are you letting me know for. people should be worried about the bullied gay teens who are still living that are suicidal. the ones that are gone really don't matter at this point. we can't do shit about the ones that are dead but we sure can do something for the ones that are living. otherwise, i don't care too hear all that depressing shit.

Asshole.

If you can't figure out why I'm posting these threads, stay out of them.

 

[Lube]

Refujiunderground, doesn't JUB have an equivalent forum for underage teens?

I imagine New Jersey would have quite a few GLBT resources compared to, say, Mississippi. Google it.

You seem kind of angry. PM me if you need to talk.

 

[vaporlockd]

A lot of these sound like depression might be an underlying issue. Put on a brave face to the world, but falling apart inside. very sad.

 

[sixthson]

I understand putting on the brave face. That was me. By nature I was a happy kid and that is how others saw me. But on the inside I often hated myself. I was never suicidal and I wouldn't say I was ever depressed, but it felt like a terrible ache in my heart when I thought about being gay. I always believed others would hate me if they ever knew. That caused me to be fearful and put up walls with others and myself. So, I can understand how some kids have a hard time reaching out to others.

I could be wrong, but it seems to me when we read these stories, we hear that the boy had mostly girls for friends. Same sex friendships are so important, especially in teen years.

 

[vulgar_newcomer]

It sucks of course but some act like this is some modern thing just going on.
Knowing more people personally growing up or a long the way then I got fingers who have offed themselves. One guy comes to mind. He was so tight with the guitarist in my band they were inseparable. It was obvious to me that they were more then friends. It was cool and all were in the closet. In fact when my guitarist who was a good friend found I was gay he dropped me like a fucking piece of hot metal. He remained close friends with his buddy who was from a staunch roman catholic familyu hanging around the very anti gay 18 -20 yr old heavy metal crowd in the white suburbs where fag jokes feel like raindrops in the Amazon.
One day my guitarist buddy and him had a big blowout. I don't know why. Then his buddies parents took a long weekend. He was a gun nut. He told something or gave something to my guitarist. When the parents came home he had taken one of his guns and blown his brains out in the familys bathroom. We all knew what had happened he couldn't deal with being a gay dude. The suffrage didn't start last couple of yrs. My guitarist changed and it wrecked him, he became isolated. But I know his bf blew his brains out and the pressure from family,friends, peers, school was just fucking incredible. Even the guy he was having sex with was spewing anti gay hate all the time. Too much too far.
Was the same for other teens who kill themselves too rather gay or not, most not.

 

[fetaby]

I understand putting on the brave face. That was me. By nature I was a happy kid and that is how others saw me. But on the inside I often hated myself. I was never suicidal and I wouldn't say I was ever depressed, but it felt like a terrible ache in my heart when I thought about being gay. I always believed others would hate me if they ever knew. That caused me to be fearful and put up walls with others and myself. So, I can understand how some kids have a hard time reaching out to others.

I could be wrong, but it seems to me when we read these stories, we hear that the boy had mostly girls for friends. Same sex friendships are so important, especially in teen years.

I don't believe same sex friendships are nearly as important as what you've laid out here. It's like this... If one is important, the other kind (while great) isn't as important. So that sets up these types of relationships as one being better than the other, one being more desirable than the other, and before you know it we have a system of misogyny, misplaced gender roles, confusion, and feelings of inadequacy. All of which can be avoided with a very simple thought adjustment, that friendship where ever you can find it is a very fine thing indeed.

Because just like with sex, friendship is also a two way street. It takes both parties participating to be effective. So regardless of the want/need for gay teens to acquire these same sexed friends, it's up to the other teen to be responsive to that invitation for friendship. And that is where the gap is the widest.

Not only do parents let their children loose into the world with only the most basic understandings of the fundamentals of society and social interactions, there is no impetus on the majority of the population to accommodate the needs of potentially fragile psyches of homosexual youth. Let alone explain the very, very basic concept that you can be friends with a gay person and not be gay yourself.

Why is it the most juvenile of excuses is tolerated, and tacitly accepted for the shunning these individuals? Does homophobia really run that deeply?

Any way, between the incessant need for gender role conformity and the brick wall of homophobia insisting the importance of relationship dynamic becomes just another straw on the camel's back.

 

[sixthson]

I have to disagree, Fetaby. Peer pressure is not all bad and teenagers get so much validation from each other, boys from boys and girls from girls. Males and females bond with each other in different ways. There are innate gender distinctions, I believe.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

I have to disagree, Fetaby. Peer pressure is not all bad and teenagers get so much validation from each other, boys from boys and girls from girls. Males and females bond with each other in different ways. There are innate gender distinctions, I believe.

so 20th century was a bit a fun
past 10000 years was fa tv realitys shows

humans make space station ta play wit while

this was nice

thankyou

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

Another very unfortunate occurrence. He's in a better place; away from the depression, harassment, and troubles he faced. All we can do as a community is stand united as one, and prove to the world that we're people with feelings, rights, and low bullshit thresholds.

wot betta place? he a dead
maybe cultures world ova take a resposinbulls of wen live no this a amazin expression lads world ova spit out

ans community? again 2 lands 21 stcentury let two cretin wet wipes go play bomb bomb in othda countrys

prove wot ta world? human worlds? which one? da one fit mr bloggy 22?

UN is represent fuck up civlizations no out da playpen of piss fa civlizations

there go

this was nice

thankyou

happy porrrrrrn day

 

[aberro21]

I know this is besides the point and really simplistic but if i have kids (boys or girls) they're going to be in some type of gym learning how to fight as soon as possible. Nobody bullies someone that can kick their ass, gay or straight.
if you call someone a fagot and that person punches you in your face, you and everybody that seen it will think twice about what they say or do to you. The young man that took the stun gun to school had the right idea although I would have suggested a hammer.
Bullying doesn't always end after you graduate. There is no way for schools to stop all bullying for ever. I have found that physically hurting people is the best deterrent.

 

[fetaby]

I have to disagree, Fetaby. Peer pressure is not all bad and teenagers get so much validation from each other, boys from boys and girls from girls. Males and females bond with each other in different ways. There are innate gender distinctions, I believe.

And neither of us are teenagers, I wasn't talking about "peer" pressure. So for you to exert the pressure for a gay teen to form a same sex friendship when one may or may not be possible is an unnecessary pressure. Notice I didn't say it was bad, because there could be benefits to that relationship, and there are some differences between the genders.

The fact that you didn't say that opposite sexed teens could validate each other is the problem. We lay false expectations at the feet of these kids without even really realizing it.

I mean, examine the strength of force this pressure creates... You, a gay man residing in another state upon hearing of this teen's death, look at the gender of his friends and find them to be some how inadequate because they couldn't "validate" him to be a man, because only a straight man understands what it's like to be a man.

If you want to talk gender distinctions and sex roles, lets just get the ball rolling. No need to pussyfoot around.

I say one of the keys to successfully bringing our youth to adulthood is through fostering their sense of identity however that manifests itself with positivity and support. Not by mimicking and repeating the same homophobic and misogynistic social dynamics that we grew up with ourselves. It wasn't right then, and it isn't right now.

 

[sixthson]

Umm...calm down.

I'm not a teenager but I have teenaged sons. I believe there are more than "some" differences between genders and that does not make me a misogynist. I just disagree with you, that's all. BTW, I am in Minnesota.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

And neither of us are teenagers, I wasn't talking about "peer" pressure. So for you to exert the pressure for a gay teen to form a same sex friendship when one may or may not be possible is an unnecessary pressure. Notice I didn't say it was bad, because there could be benefits to that relationship, and there are some differences between the genders.

The fact that you didn't say that opposite sexed teens could validate each other is the problem. We lay false expectations at the feet of these kids without even really realizing it.

I mean, examine the strength of force this pressure creates... You, a gay man residing in another state upon hearing of this teen's death, look at the gender of his friends and find them to be some how inadequate because they couldn't "validate" him to be a man, because only a straight man understands what it's like to be a man.

If you want to talk gender distinctions and sex roles, lets just get the ball rolling. No need to pussyfoot around.

I say one of the keys to successfully bringing our youth to adulthood is through fostering their sense of identity however that manifests itself with positivity and support. Not by mimicking and repeating the same homophobic and misogynistic social dynamics that we grew up with ourselves. It wasn't right then, and it isn't right now.

not slap ya wit ma cock or nothin cause ya ins right directins
here da rubbins ans it alls obvious fa eons
" okay "
if man no idea wot is they wot expect little humans do?
-ya nose 7000+ millions a humans spit out ins 100 years from da darkages wot a stills goin
ans da floatin piles a it of civils lizations tulip wanna add new LABEL ta here anoda identity fay ya ta go swim in

fact little humans is born all Kool ans turn inta twat bys a mans cultures world ova with papa say here new twat wot nose how make spaceship but no can tie shoe laces

here more obvious fa eons
da female is got be this or this or this this ta fit in wit who?
da male is this is this this this or this ta fit in wit who?

next bit

it go on a bit so gonna cut it so folk of eons no got read OOH NO NOT AGAIN

while internet 1 ans 2 world ova play with we is adults ans got little humans ta turn inta twat ans go disney

da planet is got humans one FEMALE ans 1 MALE join tagda make more of um ! yea it true ans Nature DOINS IT fa eons so University sudden delcare we no sumthang cause Universitys ans Schools nose shit

wot next bit?
OH yeah

so there go ya ins right directins but cut out da crap bits
life is raw fa humans wot no got be world ova
so da flloatin idea worlds humans of educate twat wanna stop ans sniff their shit

ans stop make labels wot no got set up ta protect wot is open season every fuckin centurys cause world still fulls da male fuckheads ans spineless toons wot spit out anythang so no go IS BORED ans wanna attention or sumthang

ta morons tops a piles world ova da window of oppurtutiy fa human race is vry small fix da shit of eons

so hurry up ans stop makin ya own showwwwww

well this was a nice

@ 100000 yrs ans still they no figa @
# dat cause theys a supa educate smart #
@ CooR @
$ how ya like ma skins? $
COOOOOOR

thankyou

happy porn day sleep ovas

 

[fetaby]

Umm...calm down.

I'm not a teenager but I have teenaged sons. I believe there are more than "some" differences between genders and that does not make me a misogynist. I just disagree with you, that's all. BTW, I am in Minnesota.

I'm quite calm, thanks for asking. Congratulations on the kids and the real estate...

Now to the issue though, from the article:

"He just got really depressed about it because the guys weren’t accepting him," Strader said.

How do you propose that these guys accept him and befriend him? Because that is what you say is needed, same sex friendship. That is what is important, that is what is needed to validate young gay youth. The difference being that they are of the same sex. And only a male can validate another male.

But in this specific case not only were the guys not accepting they were abusive.

His close friends, Rachel and Tia Born, told the news station that Jones was bullied for being openly and proudly gay and that they believe the abuse could have played a large role in his suicide

So how many of these straight male teens do you think were lining up to be in the school's GSA with Corey?

The teen was a member of his school’s gay-straight alliance and had a picture on his Facebook page that said "Gay & Proud." Jones, who knew he was gay from a young age, was very open about his sexuality.

He did everything he was supposed to do and it was our society and our social expectations that failed him. It was the expectation that it is a necessity for a man to validate the masculinity of another man that contributed to this kid's depression. It wasn't enough that he was surrounded by a family that supported him...

" Jones’ father said. He added that pink was one of his favorite colors. "When I saw him in pink, I really liked him in pink, and he was really happy," Strader continued. "I just told him that pink looked good on him."

Or good friends that respected and loved him...

"We all loved him because he was just funny, and an amazing person - like the best person you could ever know," Rachel said. "You could tell it upset him because like he didn’t understand why people couldn’t accept him for who he was," says Rachel.

"I just wish he could’ve turned to his friends instead of resorting towards this because life could get better," says Tia.

The same expectation that you've brought here into this thread by questioning the validity and effectiveness of this kid's friends by means of their gender.

I could be wrong, but it seems to me when we read these stories, we hear that the boy had mostly girls for friends. Same sex friendships are so important, especially in teen years.

Seriously... It's almost as if you're blaming these friends for being girls and not the boys these gay kids need. Which is misogyny. And if that's not what you're doing, then you're perpetuating a societal expectation that men require validation from other men in order to BE men. Which is equally false and damaging.

Both ways another straw is being laid on the camel's back and it's not needed. What is needed is the recognition that "tried and true" does not allow for people like Corey to flourish and survive.