Misunderstandings

[palbert]

I think you are imagining unnecessarily.

 

[Rolyo85]

There's a huge market for you out there. A ton of older guys like fresh meat. Some are even not creeps. This is a silly reason not to be out. Also, being out doesn't mean describing your particular preferences to everyone you meet.

 

[Seasoned]

Coming out and being attracted to guys twenty years your senior are two different issues. Coming out begins when keeping being gay a secret is more troublesome than the fear of rejection by others. It has nothing to do with specific attractions or fetishes.

 

[Illmatic]

Got exactly the same problem mate, exactly the same
Also still in the closet cause I ask myself those exact questions!
Just to let you know your definitely not the only one and also not a "freak"

 

[chrisw87]

Depends what you mean by "friends"

A real friend will make fun of you for your attraction to older men, but will still love you as a friend. A 'friend' will dump you for this.

My sexuality with my friends is much like an enigma. Because I don't openly discuss it nor admit/deny anything I leave it open to suggestion. It is both none of their business and no issue if they know.

As a result I get set up with girls for dates by some friends, and receive gay jokes from others (in a joking way, not serious) and knowing comments/faces from the one gay bloke at work.

You must admit though, humans are quite interesting to watch when you do this sort of thing and leave them wondering without divulging any useful information.

ps... I have to give that gay guy at work credit, I have a terrible gaydar and he frigging outed me in private within the first 10 minutes :|

 

[chrisw87]

I know I don't have to say to him what type of men I like, but that's only way to say ''hey, I'm not attracted to you'' because I had misunderstandings with gay dudes of my age and I know shit happens. (They thought I was straight, but the feeling of the ''you know, I'm gay and I like you'' being said to you is HORRID)

So wait, sorry I haven't had enough coffee yet. Are you worried that if you come out as gay he will think you are attracted to him? If they are understanding about your sexuality then you can always drop in the "but don't worry, your not my type" at the end and leave them confused and seeking out why

 

[Rolyo85]

I hate game playing. There is nothing alluring and interesting about not knowing who someone is attracted to. It doesn't add mystery, just annoyance. But I live by a very simple creed that I always like saying to straight guys - "just because you have a dick, doesn't mean I want it. You're not attracted to every girl out there, and I'm not attracted to every guy".

Also, liking mature men is perfectly legit. There are young men who are only attracted to older women. Same shit.

 

[Grey_Sky]

When I was 18, and still in the closet, I used to feel the same way. Countless nights I spent trying to figure out a way to live my life without comming out to anyone and how hard that would be.

Trust me, one day you'll find out it's harder to keep it a secret than to tell someone, and before you know it, this weight will be out of your shoulders once you do.

Don't potentialize your "problem" by creating others to justify it. Liking older guys is perfectly fine and, as others have said here: to each, its own.

Good luck and don't worry, you're not more of a freak than any of us here

 

[epod85]

Meh. I have a friend who's dating someone 20 years older then him and no one really seems to care. Seriously don't think this is as big of an issue as you're making it out to be.