Monogamous, relationship-oriented bisexuals

[kayman23]

I just want to post this thread on here to discuss issues that are facing us bisexuals that are more monogamous and emotional-based with our attractions. This thread can be dedicated to those of us that seems to always want to building a relationship and intimacy before becoming sexually active with that person.

I'll start with the fact that it seems that is a lot easier for me to have a relationship with guys that are identified a homosexual than bisexual. I say this because all the guys that I have attempted to anything with that are bisexual it seems most of them just want to have casual sex, which I'm not into at all. In many ways, the behavior of most bisexual guys when it comes to casual sex makes me uncomfortable admitting that I'm bisexual also.

 

[naughtypiscesboi84]

Yeah, I would just want to have casual sex with a guy. But I have a different definition of "casual." If I had a good friend that was gay (and single) that I liked, I might kind of subtly let on that I was open to sex. And then kind of explain I wasn't really looking for a relationship with a guy. If that was cool with him and he just kinda wanted to mess around, I'd kind of let stuff happen.

With girls I'd be pretty much monogamous though. I want to end up with a girl. The problem is, I'm constantly starting to feel more and more emotionally attracted to guys. So I don't know. At the point I actually did fall in love with a guy the same way I've fallen in love with girls, I'd be way too panicky to think about sex. I'd be more worried about coming out to the whole world as a bisexual who was about to enter a long-term homosexual relationship. And I don't mean like just telling my parents that I have a marginal attraction to the same sex. I mean this would be like "FULL BLOW EVERYONE WOULD KNOW" and I'd be scared shitless. I can think of favorite cousins and best of friends that would probably never speak to me ever again for something like that.

 

[chance1]

Yeah, I would just want to have casual sex with a guy. But I have a different definition of "casual." If I had a good friend that was gay (and single) that I liked, I might kind of subtly let on that I was open to sex. And then kind of explain I wasn't really looking for a relationship with a guy. If that was cool with him and he just kinda wanted to mess around, I'd kind of let stuff happen.

With girls I'd be pretty much monogamous though. I want to end up with a girl. The problem is, I'm constantly starting to feel more and more emotionally attracted to guys. So I don't know. At the point I actually did fall in love with a guy the same way I've fallen in love with girls, I'd be way too panicky to think about sex. I'd be more worried about coming out to the whole world as a bisexual who was about to enter a long-term homosexual relationship. And I don't mean like just telling my parents that I have a marginal attraction to the same sex. I mean this would be like "FULL BLOW EVERYONE WOULD KNOW" and I'd be scared shitless. I can think of favorite cousins and best of friends that would probably never speak to me ever again for something like that.

r u sure about ur fav cousins and best friends? certain?

i think sometimes we imagine/assume the worst - could be based on signals sent - and that often people r not that simple - or that bad

i hope that's the case

if ur leaning towards guys, i hope that is the case with u

i have found that to be - that people care less about ur sexual orientation - some at first had some issues/questions - but only 1 friend of mine was "no way" - funny too cuz he seemed one of the more liberal types

i don't pretend to really understand the concept of bisexuality - i have had sex with women, relationships with women - in the past - but i always knew i preferred men - that i could function with women and hide it - but it did not provide the "oh yeah" that guys did - for me anyway

good luck kayman

 

[kayman23]

Yeah, I would just want to have casual sex with a guy. But I have a different definition of "casual." If I had a good friend that was gay (and single) that I liked, I might kind of subtly let on that I was open to sex. And then kind of explain I wasn't really looking for a relationship with a guy. If that was cool with him and he just kinda wanted to mess around, I'd kind of let stuff happen.

I'm not trying to be disagreeable with you, Naughtypiscesboi84, but you are actually the type of bisexual guys I was referring to. Most bisexual guys I meet or see on this forum are only looking for sex with a guy, but nothing else.

I'm not big on having sex with friends because 9 out 10 times I've seen the ramifications with others of having casual sex with friends, and it usually doesn't turn out too well. Also my attractions to person are genderless and I have to feelings for that person to even consider wanting to have sex with them.

With girls I'd be pretty much monogamous though. I want to end up with a girl. The problem is, I'm constantly starting to feel more and more emotionally attracted to guys. So I don't know. At the point I actually did fall in love with a guy the same way I've fallen in love with girls, I'd be way too panicky to think about sex. I'd be more worried about coming out to the whole world as a bisexual who was about to enter a long-term homosexual relationship. And I don't mean like just telling my parents that I have a marginal attraction to the same sex. I mean this would be like "FULL BLOW EVERYONE WOULD KNOW" and I'd be scared shitless. I can think of favorite cousins and best of friends that would probably never speak to me ever again for something like that.

If I'm in love then I'm in love that person, so it doesn't matter what others think. Well, at this point in my life I don't care anymore what anyone how they feel about me being bisexual. So if you do fall in love with some guy, I hope you won't let your friends and family orchestrate or ruin your relationship because of the fear of them finding out about you being bisexual. We all have something about ourselves that we don't want our family and friends to know, but if they really care about you and love then they will accept you as you are.

 

[naughtypiscesboi84]

r u sure about ur fav cousins and best friends? certain?

i think sometimes we imagine/assume the worst - could be based on signals sent - and that often people r not that simple - or that bad

i hope that's the case

if ur leaning towards guys, i hope that is the case with u

i have found that to be - that people care less about ur sexual orientation - some at first had some issues/questions - but only 1 friend of mine was "no way" - funny too cuz he seemed one of the more liberal types

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. There's this one cousin I have who despises homosexuality involving men. He's pointed out pieces of fiction to me before that he hates just based on the fact that it has a homosexual character.

He's very religious, yet very open about his sexuality, which is very strong. So he's not a prude. He just dislikes homosexuality. Whether he would hate me if I ever started going out with or living with another guy, I don't know. Probably not, knowing him. He's a very nice guy.

i don't pretend to really understand the concept of bisexuality - i have had sex with women, relationships with women - in the past - but i always knew i preferred men - that i could function with women and hide it - but it did not provide the "oh yeah" that guys did - for me anyway

That's why I'm pretty sure I'm not the sort of "gay for life" alot of guys here are. I was never attracted to guys like that. Girls were always my thing. Once in a while I'd see a guy and find myself "being confused," but I was never totally head-over-heels for any guy. All my life, my crushes have all been on girls. For 20 years or so of my 23 years of living, I was not really attracted to guys. Had no feelings for them, certainly.

If I am gay and just repressing it somehow, I'd be shocked right along with everyone else to discover it. I was attracted to girls and pretty much girls alone since I was two years old and right up until I was 21. And even at 21 I only glanced at some gay porn out of curiosity once in a while. I didn't really even start thinking of myself as bisexual until a little over half a year ago.

And kayman, I respect you opinions in regards to my sexuality. I understand that we "mostly straight" bisexual types may come off as a little coarse towards you bis that are equally attracted to each gender. But the thing is I just don't want to enter into a long-term relationship with a guy. That doesn't mean I'd treat any sexual partner as a mere object for my amusement. It's true that in my fantasies, I'm often a cocksucking little slutt. But in real life, I doubt I could bring myself to be this way except under the most exceptional of circumstances.

That doesn't mean I want to give up on having a sexual experience with a guy, either. For me, "casual" sex would actually be falling in love with a person for a short time. I would really put alot of passion and TLC into any one-on-one sexual encounter. I know that could complicate things. That I might actually make my friend fall in love with my by showing him a very loving sexual side of me. I guess I'd just have to hope that our friendship wouldn't be altered to the point that we'd either have to take it further or just stop hanging around each other. It's not unheard of for people, gay or straight, to have satisfying sex with each other with the understanding that nothing will ever come of it.

Dammit, kayman! You make me feel like a lecherous user! Ouch!

 

[naughtypiscesboi84]

Are you sure your cousins and best friends would never talk to you again? My friend was sure I would shut him out when he told me, but he was soooo wrong. He actually shouldn't have told me though because I often borrow his gay porn and forget to return it

Well, like I said, the cousin might talk to me. I'm not sure it would ever really be the same. He might be afraid I was targeting *his* ass. He's a very good guy, but from what I understand his view of male homosexuals is that they're all a bunch of weird godless perverts who'd fuck anything with a penis! lol Now I know better. I'd never try to explain to him how or why I know better. But I've always thought he was a little too judgemental of gays. I love him anyway, very much. Not in a gay way though. lol

Now when it comes to lesbians, like most straight guys, he doesn't mind that at all. Neither do I. And I like to watch every bit as much as he does. But I like watching two cute guys just as much. Something he probably couldn't understand.

And my friend once told me about another friend of his. And he told me this friend was, and I quote, "Sort of weird! He's bisexual!"

If only he knew... If only he knew I'm bi, and furthermore not really attracted to him at all.

 

[naughtypiscesboi84]

naughtypiscesboi84 I am curious why you don't want to be in a long term relationship with a guy? If you can show TLC and fall in love with them for a short time why disregard a long term relationship?

Well, for one thing, I want to have a family. And I mean my own kids. With the person I love. I want kids that are the direct result of my soulmate's DNA bonding with mine. I suppose we're getting closer and closer to gays being able to have kids of their own. I wonder how it will be until some miracle in the field of gene splicing will make this possible. Of course that's not as simple or *completely free* as the old fashioned way of a man and a woman making a baby, but...

And like I said, I'm really just more into girls to begin with. I get butterflies in my stomach over them. Guys have never given me the reaction. And I just can't see myself spending the rest of my life with a guy. It just seems *wrong* somehow. Not for others. Everyone is different, and that's okay. But just for me personally. I just don't feel like that's my future. Never have. Don't know if I ever can feel that way. The kind of guy who could would have to be very, *very* special indeed. But a man/woman life pairing just seems more natural for my own life, even though I'm open to the possibility of same sex lovers.

 

[justsimon]

I'm looking for a serious, monogamous relationship... with a guy or a girl.

 

[Piquechampion]

I'll start with the fact that it seems that is a lot easier for me to have a relationship with guys that are identified a homosexual than bisexual. I say this because all the guys that I have attempted to anything with that are bisexual it seems most of them just want to have casual sex, which I'm not into at all. In many ways, the behavior of most bisexual guys when it comes to casual sex makes me uncomfortable admitting that I'm bisexual also.

I feel exactly the same way.