More proof the world should only speak one language

[DJ1990]

I am visiting Bosnia soon and I forgot some words in my stupid native language so now I have to read through the dictionary so I am able to speak to the humans there...so annoying.
Btw if I wanted to learn all the correct grammar I would have to learn Serbian, Croatian, and Bosnian even though they were all the same language 20 years ago but now douchey people made stupid rules just to seperate them....and you are telling me it wouldn't be better just to force the bastards to speak English?
Yeah...okay.

 

[Screwdriver4]

hahaha, best post ever

 

[CowboyBob]

Whatever happened to Esperanto?

 

[Callum]

Almost every country in the world speaks idiot.

You'll be fine

Annnnd zing!

 

[NineOfClubs]

My proposal: bring back Latin.

 

[ThreeCrows]

Whatever happened to Esperanto?

I was going to say that!
And I think William Shatner starred in the first and only movie filmed in Esperanto - just a pointless, possibly untrue tidbit.

Oops, I was wrong, it was the second:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incubus_(1965_film)

 

[TheFireGod]

101011101011000111100010010010011100010

Don't blame me, blame Milosevec, Woodrow Wilson, or Napoleon Bonaparte.... they're the ones that advocated for the idea of similar people should want (almost always revolt) for independence.

 

[Críostóir]

My proposal: bring back Latin.

Quod mortuum manet mortuos, nunquam resurget.

I was going to say that!
And I think William Shatner starred in the first and only movie filmed in Esperanto - just a pointless, possibly untrue tidbit.

Oops, I was wrong, it was the second:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incubus_(1965_film)

No, Shatner was in that.

A few suggestions for a universal language off the top of my head:

- no complex verb conjugations or noun/pronoun/adjective declensions

- gendering (masculine, feminine, neuter, etc) should be optional (in English, you must choose he or she, it's not optional)

- no subjunctive mood

- no familiar vs formal or deferentialisms (eg tu/vous)

- few exceptions to the basic rules

- spelling should mirror sounds

Well, I could argue against each of these, but were I to do so, I'd be swatted down. You see what I did there? I use subjunctive sometimes!

As for "spelling should mirror sounds," that sounds good on the surface, but causes other problems. For one tiny example, are you saying that 'electric' and 'electricity' should be spelled 'elektrik' and 'elektrisiti' respectively? Do you see why that's a problem?

Also...well, there's this word 'secretary'. To make spelling mirror sound, you'd have to spell it 'sekretri' in England and 'sekretari' in the US. There are dozens of those. It's a problem.

[ETA: Better example. 'Extraordinary' would be spelled 'ekstrordinari' in America, but 'kstradnri' in England! (Well, parts of it. And spelled differently for different classes, and yet another way on the BBC.)]

Now, those are issues with English, but remember that languages change over time, which is why we have odd spellings now (they used to mirror sounds, believe it or not). This will happen (perhaps more slowly with a high-tech world) eventually in your created language, and frustrate that good intention.

But also, all the invented languages are failures. Esperanto is the only one that comes close to being successful, and the only one that now has native speakers; but they all speak different dialects heavily influenced by the other languages everyone who speaks Esperanto must also speak, due to its never having caught on.

Don't even get me started about Loglan.

I really think we do have a universal language: English. Did you know that there are more people who speak English in China than there are in America? With all its flaws and awkwardness, it's the one that's got the distribution. Sort of the Microsoft of languages!

 

[bankside]

My proposal: bring back Latin.

Boooooo!!!!! Romanes eunt domus!!!!

 

[DJ1990]

Almost every country in the world speaks idiot.

You'll be fine

Los Angeles ha? Hope you don't die in that big earthquake that's supposed to fuck it up.

 

[Callum]

But English is such an ugly language.

 

[Críostóir]

But English is such an ugly language.

*slaps Callum across the face with a glove, throws it at his feet*

Pistols at dawn, Sir!

 

[DJ1990]

You going to get laid over there?

Actually I met this guy on gayromeo that wants to tap me when I come.

 

[TheFireGod]

As for "spelling should mirror sounds," that sounds good on the surface, but causes other problems. For one tiny example, are you saying that 'electric' and 'electricity' should be spelled 'elektrik' and 'elektrisiti' respectively? Do you see why that's a problem?

Also...well, there's this word 'secretary'. To make spelling mirror sound, you'd have to spell it 'sekretri' in England and 'sekretari' in the US. There are dozens of those. It's a problem.

Add to the fact that electric/electricity could be spelled ilectrick or ilectrissity in other places cause it's pronounced differently. English might be an international language, but it has so many flavors both written and spoken.

The word for open but y-band footwear is one example: flip-flops (USA), slippers (English translation in Philippines), thongs (Australia), Jandals (New Zealand).

It's logical just to use IPA standards (those weird characters that help you pronounce words in the dictionary), but they'd have to overhaul computer keys.

 

[Críostóir]

Actually I met this guy on gayromeo that wants to tap me when I come.

Podignite vaše pete prema stropu i reći mu da funta vam teško!

Or should that be

Подигните своје пете до плафона и реци му да вас пола килограма тешко!

 

[bankside]

My favourite is what became of the Washing Machine after the breakup of Yugoslavia.

Croatians now use a "Stroj za pranje rublja" whilst Serbians have to use a Веш машина. Formerly, this was the same appliance.

 

[DJ1990]

Um, I am pretty sure that you could just speak one language and you will be understood in all three. For realz.

People in Spain don't all speak Spanish but they all understand each other.

It IS one language. It was called Serbo-Croatian back in the day. They just do really stupid things like when Bosnian was created they put a bunch of Turkish shit in the dictionary to make it more Muslim-y.

 

[bankside]

As for "spelling should mirror sounds," that sounds good on the surface, but causes other problems. For one tiny example, are you saying that 'electric' and 'electricity' should be spelled 'elektrik' and 'elektrisiti' respectively? Do you see why that's a problem?

Not in the least.

Also...well, there's this word 'secretary'. To make spelling mirror sound, you'd have to spell it 'sekretri' in England and 'sekretari' in the US. There are dozens of those. It's a problem.

The obvious solution is to spell it "sekretri" and then have sound mirror spelling.

As for English being the "universal" language, it isn't. It's my language, and the rest of the world can fuck off and get their own universal language. BTW, I think the world's future involves a pluralistic linguistic environment, not a monopoly.

 

[DJ1990]

Podignite vaše pete prema stropu i reći mu da funta vam teško!

Or should that be

Подигните своје пете до плафона и реци му да вас пола килограма тешко!

The serbian makes more sense.

 

[TheFireGod]

It IS one language. It was called Serbo-Croatian back in the day. They just do really stupid things like when Bosnian was created they put a bunch of Turkish shit in the dictionary to make it more Muslim-y.

Even so, wouldn't Serbo-Croatian be understood still by your parent's generation?

Hopefully at least the younger generations speaks some English.