Moving out: pros and cons

[winterknight]

So I've been trying to come up with a list of the pros and cons of moving out of my folk's house. Here's what I've come up with so far:

Pros:

• Privacy
• Personal space
• Not having them breathing down my neck and nagging 24/7
• It's embarrassing to have to admit I still live with my parents at 30

Cons:

• Other than wanking, what do I actually need privacy and personal space for?
• Less money
• Would have to give up the gym, which is currently my only non-work reason for leaving the house and would probably mean I'd get fat again
• Unsure if it would be good to live alone from a psychological standpoint

so, umm... yeah. not entirely sure where I'm going with this, but....

 

[unloadonme]

Is one allowed to mention sex?

 

[winterknight]

Is one allowed to mention sex?

you just did.

 

[Ohiospeedo]

If you have a job and money, then I would move out. I think that freedom should be high on the list. I am 30 as well, and couldn't imagine living at home again. Too much stress!

 

[gsdx]

Be sure you can afford to move out before you do. There are a lot of things to consider in the living situation alone: rent, possible electrics and gas bills, telephone, cable/satellite bills. And then there is food and supplies, etc.

These are all things you must consider.

 

[winterknight]

If you have a job and money, then I would move out. I think that freedom should be high on the list. I am 30 as well, and couldn't imagine living at home again. Too much stress!

Freedom to do what, though?

The psychological factor is the biggest stumbling block. I don't do very well if left alone for long periods, and without the "enforced socialization" living at home provides, the only time I'd speak to people would be at work.

I do NOT want to end up having another breakdown like I did the last time I lived somewhere else. (and before you ask, yes that was living with other people)

But at the same time, I kinda feel stuck here, and am slowly going stir crazy.

 

[Bidude117]

Question: Does your mom still cook and clean for you?

If so, then that's a huge plus!

 

[luminum]

I think you'll find ways to enjoy your privacy once you have it.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Other than wanking, what do I actually need privacy and personal space for?

Well...
.............................................................

 

[winterknight]

Well...
.............................................................

I think you'll find ways to enjoy your privacy once you have it.

Remember, you're talking to the guy who can't even get a hand-job in a darkroom.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Remember, you're talking to the guy who can't even get a hand-job in a darkroom.

That guy doesn't exist.

 

[SilverWolf]

If these 6 questions you can yes say yes to, then maybe moving out is a good idea:

Do you plan on having/currently have a active sex life with a boyfriend/multiple hook ups?

Do you feel embarrassed every time you have to bring it up?

Do your parents impose strict rules like be home by 11pm, no friends over after midnight?

Are you responsible and can do things yourself and can manage your own life? ex: do you cook/can cook, clean, mange your own money?

Do you have the will/discipline to do something without anybody telling you to?

Do you have plans to manage the cost of living like food, gas, rent, clothes, water, electricity?

If these questions are driving you insane and you have a good sense of responsibility in doing things yourself and not passing them on to somebody else, then maybe you should seriously consider moving out. Having privacy and space can be a wonderful thing to have and it certainly helps your sex life. If your fairly sociable, you won't be too lonely. You may be ready to embark on your own and play by your own rules.

If these questions are most important or they can play a big factor in your life then I say wait:

Do you get depressed easily just by being alone?

Are you real shy and have very few if any friends?

Can you get a boyfriend or friends easily?

Are you responsible and can do things yourself and can manage your own life? ex: do you cook/can cook, clean, mange your own money?

Do you have the will/discipline to do something without anybody telling you to?

If these questions are important to you, then I would say wait. Not everybody loves living alone and having privacy and space can be harmful if it makes you depressed. If you have very few or no friends to come over, that space you want may end up being something you hate.

As too no exercise, I think if your creative you can find ways to keep your body active. Push-ups in the morning and sit-ups before bed for one thing.Riding a bicycle or taking walks are other ways. Money is an issue and needs to be carefully planned. Responsibility and how you will handle being by yourself is an issue that only you can address.

If your family is living in the same house as you, and you manage your own life, just play by their rules, then maybe your ready to move out depending on other conditions. If your family still handles things for you like money, cooking, cleaning and they are the closest things you have to friends/you have very few friends and hate being alone, then there's no harm in staying with them.

 

[winterknight]

That guy doesn't exist.

He does and you're talking to him. Trust me, I've been there.

 

[PabloZed]

Isn't there a middle road which is to find a compatible roommate, maybe a lesbian? Even better, find a lesbian exchange student or other foriegner. I say that because she will be very grateful to share space with a native from whom she can learn. Having a roommate also helps with expenses.

You have obvious phobias that are treatable with medication. Surely national healthcare provides you with medicine so that should not impact your budget.

Decide to not make excuses. Decide to make tough decisions and take risks for your own sake.

And give yourself credit for exploring ways to make your life better.

 

[Bidude117]

I supposedly "became a man" at 21 and I still don't feel like one!

 

[winterknight]

Isn't there a middle road which is to find a compatible roommate, maybe a lesbian? Even better, find a lesbian exchange student or other foriegner. I say that because she will be very grateful to share space with a native from whom she can learn. Having a roommate also helps with expenses.

I lived with roommates the last time I tried this. Maybe it was just because I didn't "click" with them, but it really didn't help. It takes me a long time to warm up to people, and living with a complete stranger would probably be just as bad as living alone.

 

[PabloZed]

I lived with roommates the last time I tried this. Maybe it was just because I didn't "click" with them, but it really didn't help. It takes me a long time to warm up to people, and living with a complete stranger would probably be just as bad as living alone.

There is a solution to that as well, which is to find a roommate while you are still living at home and get to know the person. When you feel comfortable with that person then you take the step. And be honest about it to whomever you seek to roommate with. Maybe you will find someone who shares that phobia and you can work through it together.

 

[gsdx]

I just think there's sone level of independence you only gain when you leave your comfort zone.

For some people, it's not all that easy. You haven't been here long enough to know how difficult a decision this is for winterknight.

 

[Paws]

[*]It's embarrassing to have to admit I still live with my parents at 30

- you can invite men over and have wild sex
- you will not get fat because you have to buy food and do the household yourself
- you're seriously missing out in your development if you still stay with your parents at such an age

You can still pass by mommy weekly and give her the dirty laundry to do

 

[gsdx]

Well, but I guess you're right, I don't know this guy at all, was only trying to help out.

I know, and I understand. However, in some cases, even the most simple challenges can seem like insurmountable barriers to some.