My BF has NO sex drive! PART 2!

[gwailo]

Part 1: http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=326996

Since then: We broke up. I moved on. I'm seeing someone. He had a revenge fuck with someone else who used him. He regretted it...blah blah blah..

Ever since we broke up we have been trying to work it out and stay close friends. I talk about my guy, he talks about his outings. We get along...

BUT ever since we broke up he has been horny as all get out. Buying dvds and magazines and watching internet porn. jerking off like twice a day. I couldn't even get him to do anything remotely sexual while we were together and he insisted he didn't know why he had no sex drive and that it wasn't me.. but he never did all the porn stuff when we were together. He talked about all his toys and sexual stuff before our relationship and now he is back on that track again. I even caught him jerkin it when I was over for a visit. He said he needed to do his hair in the bathroom so I waited...and waited...and finally went in there (not uncommon, we would always hang out in the doorway when one of us was getting ready for work or whatever, and the door was open so I figured whatever)..

We are not people to spare eachothers feelings so I know he wasn't just trying to be nice and say "oh honey, its not you.." I just don't get it. It kinda makes me sad that he is now doing all of the things he wouldn't do when we were together, like being sexual or socializing...gahhh.

One thing that really put me off though was after I caught him today he said he wouldn't mind having a back to back jo session and I was like, really? You are the one who was cheated on in the past (not by me) and you are completely against cheating. You know I'm with this guy. How could you even suggest that? For the record I tried to have some friends with benifits fun with him when I was weak during our break up suggesting back to back or what have you but OBVIOUSLY that offer has expired...

He is just ...I don't know. ..I'm confused..

 

[Rand]

For some it is the hunt and the conquest - that is where all the excitement is. Without a partner, he is free to fantasize again. But when he is in a relationship, he might feel trapped - the excitement gone. It might be who he is.

If you have someone, you should concentrate on making that relationship work and grow and improve. Do worry - it does not sound like it is you.

celebrate your life - enjoy yourself and the relationship you are in.

Rand

 

[HunterM]

Agree with both posters above. Focus your time and energy with your current boyfriend and make that relationship work. Forget about your ex. He's not worth your time regardless how horny he is.

 

[Seasoned]

This has me totally baffled. I have to agree with the above posters. Apparently he only wants what he is not supposed to have.

 

[Lefty]

JJ.


Uncle Donnie and Auntie e. Joan will chime in when they catch up.

Your "ex" has his tit and testicles in a wringer. You are like the Candy Bar
on the shelf and he has figured out that he doesn't have the cash anymore.
He is trying discount coupons and 'credit vouchers' to satisfy the sudden
craving of his sweet tooth.

At this point, you need to go to a new game plan. D.O.D.G.I.E.

Don't Offer, Don't give In........EVER......Dodgie, Dodgie as hell.

I'm trying not to preach here, just guide andn give view points...not
answers..

 

[EJMichaels]

I agree with most of what's here and hope things continue to go well with the new guy. It's naughty of you not to keep us properly updated. (Okay, busy, real life, all that....)

 

[texan_slant]

It's drama that you could do without.

 

[DonQuixote]

J,
1. You could've put this all in the same thread - or that other one we already knew about, lol.

2. Now, on to much more serious matters - I agree with the others re: your Ex- you are now "out of season" or "forbidden fruit" as it were, so you are now the most desirable thing in the world.

I'd definitely chill things down. I know you don't want to lose the friendship; many of us are wondering just what kind of "friend" he really has been.

He crossed a line he knows he shouldn't have; send a CLEAR message about that.

Enjoy your new guy - getting to know him better, seeing where this relationship will go. And, since you've been around the horn a couple of times now, and are seeing things about yourself that maybe you didn't before, keep your eyes wide open to the full range of your relationship.

You've got a new thing going on, that sounds great from your other accounts. Let it flow and grow. You've moved on - keep on moving on. Your ex- has issues HE has to deal with.

 

[KaraBulut]

Honestly, part of moving on is no longer wasting precious brain cells trying to figure out why your ex did/does the crazy things they did.

Your ex uses sex to manipulate people. Really- just happened to excuse himself to the bathroom to jack off with the door open. By trying to figure out his behavior, you're just allowing yourself to be manipulated.

 

[Lefty]

Okay Ghostie boy.....

The whole freaking family from mushbucket Donnie to Doctor Eat a Bullet.

They have all given their personal/professional evaluations....SO.......

You have your instructions...do as you are told or Aunt e. Joan the Serious

Disciplinarian will be out to punish you and lock you in your room. The full

accounting is due by the week-end. Go forth, be fruitful and multiply, an

update on Tuesday will be expected..

 

[Supervert]

It hurts feeling unappreciated, knowing you would do just about anything to make your partner happy, even letting it interfere with other aspects of your life (social, professional, family/personal, etc.) and not even seeing it as an inconvenience because being together makes it all better.

I can guarantee that he is jealous, one way or another; if not towards your BF for now having what he had missed out on before, then towards you for moving on, and wants validation in knowing that he could seduce you.

That's just my convoluted logic, I'm going through my own bullshit at the moment so feel free to disregard my two cents if it doesn't resonate.

 

[Lefty]

BR, you have been here long enough to know the info in the

profile just help picture the guy ..not I.D. him (HINT)

BR, as to the two cents worth, some of us old farts remember

"It Takes One To Know One" you and our boy could share a bit.

Maybe sand off some rough edges for both of you. The fact is,

the world is full of pricks .. every guy has one... some guys

just have to be what they have.

You and JJ can live and learn or cry and burn. Your post is

a hint that you like GWAILO the JJ are learners...

Stay real, stay in touch.

 

[palemale]

Sounds to me like his sex drive is mostly geared to mind fucks. Sex with another's body is much less interesting to him.

 

[gwailo]

We had a somewhat heated convo tonight...I am still at a loss. It would be so easy to blame him but I believe him when he says what he says. I've been with and around him long enough to just have a genuine feeling about things.. which is why I'm so confused..

And when we were together we were together all the time..which is why I know he didn't even have time to cheat.

...regardless, I am detaching myself from him on an emotional level. We need to take things down quite a few notches..

I'm still baffled by so much but like you guys said, I can't concern myself with these issues..right? *sigh*

 

[bokan800]

stop hanging out with him honey... it's not worth it.

 

[Lefty]

JJ......

It isn't about blame, saying, when or what you/he were. The operative

word is WERE. You know that, he knows it too. It is experience and the

experience can only be gained by doing. He is probably a nice guy...at one

time you were good for each other and learning. That book is finished. The

library is open, you have a new book to read. You don't forget what you have

read but you do the next book in the series.....not a sequel, series in the saga

of life. This new book may not be the last but thats why movies and books go

on man..corny but it is the never ending story......what did you say about this V

Day? thats my point. Okay, Uncle mouthy shuts up for now.

 

[DonQuixote]

We care about you, J. We want you to be happy.
It's a BIG Change.
One more month and even your financial link disappears,
as the old lease will be up.

Remember him, fondly but factually, and move on.
Enjoy getting to know and care for your new friend.

 

[gwailo]

Thanks guys yeah I only have a weeks worth of utilities pay for. Rent and electric is square.. we'll see how the dynamic changes when everything is over with... I still want to be his friend. He is a great guy...if a little desperate right now...

 

[Lefty]

Damn, Damn, Damn.

The Big Blizz, aka Mother Theresa posts 'briefer' than me and

manages even in his shorts to be sweet. Careful, your (not for

long) lease partner isn't the only sweet talker around heh heh heh.

 

[DonQuixote]

I certainly got HBB's attention last night, lol.