My boyfriend can't take in my big cock. It's putting pressure on our relationship :(

[fallinlove]

I'm dating a wonderful guy and we love each other. He has a very tight hole and I have a large, thick penis. I've managed to top him a few times and he always said that it hurts him. He really seems to suffer. I know he loves being a bottom.

Is this a reason to end a relationship? Or can a tight hole be 'trained' to take in a large cock? (he has very little experience). It would be devastating for both of us if we can't solve this.

I thought of buying him large dildos for practice. He uses a small one sometimes. I rim him and finger him and he loves that. But when I try to top him, it takes forever until he eases up, and by then I lose my erection.

Has anyone had a similar issue with a boyfriend and managed to work it out? I'd love to top him but I don't want him to suffer so much.

 

[G-Lexington]

You think people who are into fisting and whatnot just started there? Yes, you can train a bottom. Various sized dildos and/or butt plugs, lots of lube, lots of time, lots of patience.

I rim him and finger him and he loves that. But when I try to top him, it takes forever until he eases up, and by then I lose my erection.

I've had to take my time opening guys up to take me. One guy took at least a half an hour. But I spent that half hour making out with him, and working his ass over...which, y'know, is stuff that excites me, being a top and all. I don't know if I was hard as a rock through the whole thing, seeing as how my attention was elsewhere, but once my fourth finger was in there, my cock was certainly ready to jump in.

Lex

 

[rareboy]

So how big are we talking here?

 

[IceColdLover]

Guys, be serious. No, it's not worth losing a relationship over. I think you can train a hole to take a large dick, but it takes a lot of patience, relaxation, lube and stretching. He should practice opening his hole using dildos, butt plugs and even fingering himself when you're both not having sex, and he needs to try to learn relaxation techniques (deep breathing, trying not to think that taking a dick is going to hurt because that makes it hurt worse, etc). He could even try to use sedatives if he's really hurting that much, but I don't suggest using that.

 

[fallinlove]

I certainly don't want to break up with him. But I have heard of people in love that broke up due to sexual problems (usually because both were either tops or bottoms). But in my case, I really hope it is a problem that can be solved. He really is tight and he says my big penis hurts him (it's not that big...maybe 7.5 inches and a bit thicker than average).
We are in our 20's and he has little experience.

 

[rareboy]

I certainly don't want to break up with him. But I have heard of people in love that broke up due to sexual problems (usually because both were either tops or bottoms). But in my case, I really hope it is a problem that can be solved. He really is tight and he says my big penis hurts him (it's not that big...maybe 7.5 inches and a bit thicker than average).
We are in our 20's and he has little experience.

You're right.

It isn't that big.

Tell him to shut up and bite hard on the pillow.

What doesn't kill him makes him stronger.

 

[JockTalk]

Good news. He's a willing bottom.

Buy a set of graduated size dildos with the largest about your dick size and some good thick lube. Then start practicing with him but start slowly. The goal should not be to use the dildos and then top him in the first session. Maybe you'll only get to Dildo #2 or #3 but eventually you'll get to the largest size and then he'll be ready.

He does need to relax, properly douche, breathe and actually if he pushes out as you push in (your dick, the dildos), that will help.

Good luck and enjoy and no, of course it's not a reason to break up since he wants to bottom. When there's a will, there's a way!

 

[heir-to-the-wind]

He probably finds ''biting the pillow'' quite erotic. I do.

I had a regular hook-up who was tight and screamed when I penetrated him, but he always came while I gently fucked him. If he is willing to take it, then give it to him.

Role play is helpful- he is a perpetual ass-virgin. You are a lucky guy.

 

[nycguydowntown]

I'm sure you will solve this problem----take your time with lot;s of foreplay----we have bigger problems in this country there's a big dick running for president.

 

[Telstra]

You're right.

It isn't that big.

Tell him to shut up and bite hard on the pillow.

What doesn't kill him makes him stronger.

Sex suppose to be enjoyable.
If he don't enjoy it, don't do it.

Yes, a lot of training is needed here.

 

[seioussuction69]

This is no reason to end a relationship, especially since he is still willing to try despite the pain. And anyone who has been rammed has felt pain. I was fucking myself with various objects for a few years before i ever took a ride on real rod, and it hurt so bad I lost consciousness for a bit. Getting something up there is the easy part, and i would leave it in place while i jerked off. It's the fucking motion, the old in & out, that hurts! Get him dildos in various sizes, work his way up, it's really the best way. Teach him about douching, different lubes, the fun you can have with various condoms, vibrators, prostate massagers, butt plugs, the more ass-centric he becomes the better. What made all the difference in my skill as a bottom was getting a vibrating 8" Dildo that had realistic balls and a suction cup. Feeling the balls hit my ass that first time was milestone, i was so proud. But the suction cup is the real star: it allowed me to ride it as hard & fast as i wanted while my hands were free. Once your boyfriend shoots off hands free while riding it like i did, he won't be able to get enough of you pounding him.
Another obstacle he needs to overcome is mental. Thinking & worrying about the pain will make him tense, and a tense hole is a TIGHT hole! Meditation, yoga, a massage, laying in the sun, one glass of wine, a little weed, a hot shower or bath together, a blow job in a hot tub....there are many way to relax him. While his training is going on, get him to fuck you. Once he sees how much you love it, he will be even more willing. Consider yourself lucky you found a guy who is willing to keep trying, lots of guys get shafted and never want to do it again. Sad really, they are missing out on a bond with another man that there are no words for. Once you introduce your boyfriend to a prostate ramming orgasm, he will become a slave to your shaft!

 

[heir-to-the-wind]

Here is my favorite line whispered into his ear-

''I want to go deep inside you. If you love me, learn to take the pain like a man.''

 

[palemale]

I certainly don't want to break up with him. But I have heard of people in love that broke up due to sexual problems (usually because both were either tops or bottoms). But in my case, I really hope it is a problem that can be solved. He really is tight and he says my big penis hurts him (it's not that big...maybe 7.5 inches and a bit thicker than average).
We are in our 20's and he has little experience.

My recommendation is to give him a proper, intense, rimming, like it's your last meal before execution. That will get him relaxed, and more importantly, get his sphincter relaxed. I've written about my first time bottoming on here a couple dozen times, but it bears repeating. The guy had a thick, 9" cock, but he was patient and rimmed me for a long time. I took him without much pain and had no discomfort afterward. Similarly, I've bottomed for guys who were only about 7", but they didn't rim or get me relaxed, and I experienced more discomfort than I have with guys who were much bigger. I've learned a couple things about big cocks. All the big cocks I've taken were with black men, they love to rim a big ass, and they were conscious enough about their size to realize that they had to be patient and gentle to begin with to make the experience pleasurable for us both.

 

[fallinlove]

Do you (or did you) have a very tight ass? I think the problem with my guy is that he's inexperienced plus he has a really tight ass. So are tight asses expected to untighten given some time and practice? Is that how it works?

I'd like to talk to him about it and assure him that it will take some time to get used to my cock, but I just want a sort of confirmation from guys here that this is a problem that can definitely be solved

 

[palemale]

Do you (or did you) have a very tight ass? I think the problem with my guy is that he's inexperienced plus he has a really tight ass. So are tight asses expected to untighten given some time and practice? Is that how it works?

I'd like to talk to him about it and assure him that it will take some time to get used to my cock, but I just want a sort of confirmation from guys here that this is a problem that can definitely be solved

It was the first time and I had never had a Dildo or any toys up my ass. Guys still tell me I'm very tight. The key for me, I think, was a good rim job. I've had more discomfort with 7" guys who don't rim than 9.5" guys who do. Before you fuck your bf, do you rim him?

 

[gayjohnd]

This is no reason to end a relationship, especially since he is still willing to try despite the pain. And anyone who has been rammed has felt pain. I was fucking myself with various objects for a few years before i ever took a ride on real rod, and it hurt so bad I lost consciousness for a bit. Getting something up there is the easy part, and i would leave it in place while i jerked off. It's the fucking motion, the old in & out, that hurts! Get him dildos in various sizes, work his way up, it's really the best way. Teach him about douching, different lubes, the fun you can have with various condoms, vibrators, prostate massagers, butt plugs, the more ass-centric he becomes the better. What made all the difference in my skill as a bottom was getting a vibrating 8" dildo that had realistic balls and a suction cup. Feeling the balls hit my ass that first time was milestone, i was so proud. But the suction cup is the real star: it allowed me to ride it as hard & fast as i wanted while my hands were free. Once your boyfriend shoots off hands free while riding it like i did, he won't be able to get enough of you pounding him.
Another obstacle he needs to overcome is mental. Thinking & worrying about the pain will make him tense, and a tense hole is a TIGHT hole! Meditation, yoga, a massage, laying in the sun, one glass of wine, a little weed, a hot shower or bath together, a blow job in a hot tub....there are many way to relax him. While his training is going on, get him to fuck you. Once he sees how much you love it, he will be even more willing. Consider yourself lucky you found a guy who is willing to keep trying, lots of guys get shafted and never want to do it again. Sad really, they are missing out on a bond with another man that there are no words for. Once you introduce your boyfriend to a prostate ramming orgasm, he will become a slave to your shaft!

That looks like a lot of good advice that I'll take on board as well!

My first time I had to get my boyfriend (at them time) to stop almost as soon as he started because of the pain and it wasn't even in very far. Since then I worry and get tense when a dick goes near my hole so you're very right about the mental issue.

At the minute I'm trying to work with the colt anal trainer kit but not getting to use it very often. My current boyfriend and I can't have sex at the minute because of a health issue he has but we hope for that to be solved within a couple of months. I wouldn't feel right saying to him I'm going upstairs to have a go with colt when he can't take part. We live together so there aren't many times when I'm in the house on my own with enough of time to practice.

Sometimes I wonder if there's anywhere I could go say during lunch or straight after work to get some practice. What do gay saunas think about people bringing toys with them? I would go there if I knew I could.

 

[Hankerin1075]

This thread gets me going. I'm able to take way more than my boyfriend can give. It didn't start that way. I took it upon myself to push my limits and play around with toys to achieve a goal. I love being with a bigger dick. God I love the challenge. It makes me feel like a kid again. If I wee you, I'd keep playing with toys and such until you can take him in total. Then, surprise him with a huge dong toy. Maybe after you boing yourself you can stick it in him. Use it together! Jesus I'm getting hot just typing this.

 

[strokemeplease]

hahahahahahaha, the way you wrote has me cracking up. I'm just imagining The Hulk with a gigantic wang trying to shove it into Hawkeye. Lube, relaxation will help.

Wet the head of your penis and rub it on his hole, then do it in a circular motion...it should start to slip in...he will have to relax and not push or contract. Just lay there and focus on his breathin.

Hope you got it in.

Maybe try different angles so it hurts him less?

 

[PacificBeach]

hahahahahahaha, the way you wrote has me cracking up. I'm just imagining The Hulk with a gigantic wang trying to shove it into Hawkeye. Lube, relaxation will help.

 

[jbrown329]

Buy progressively larger dildos. Start with the smaller one and slowly work your way up. It will take some time. Eventually he will loosen up enough to handle you.