my boyfriend cares too much about work and sleep

[11and11]

hi there, i think i need your help

my boyfriend works mon - fri every week and i work weekends. so the only time we get to spend together is week nights. he gets home from work and we have dinner and go to bed. he's never really in the mood for anything sexual because he worries about getting proper sleep and being fit for work. it leaves no room for a sex life and its starting to worry me...

we're both very sexual guys so it upsets me that he's most likely pleasuring himself more than we pleasure each other.
does anyone have some advice for me to kick start our sex life? or any pointers from guys who are in or have been in the same position as me?

any help is appreciated,
thanks

 

[racer2438]

I highly suggest you both set up get away even it is only ine day to try to rekindle, try earlier in am b4 he goes, in shower...

 

[dhchitown1984]

how long have you been dating?

Also, try to switch things up - my boyfriend has no problem waking up early. He's big on crashing around 10/10:30 for the night. So instead, we have sex in the morning right when he wakes up, before we shower to start the day.

We've had sex at various times of the day, but when scheduling is tight because of our schedules, I usually set my alarm clock on my phone to wake up 10 minutes before him - I brush my teeth, turn on the iron so he can iron his clothes for work (so its warmed up and ready to go after sex), let the dog out, then jump back in bed, wake him up with a gentle back rub and as his alarm is going off he's normally hard and we have some great sex. Give it a shot - see if it helps you out

 

[silverbelt]

+1 for early morning 'cuddles'. My partner usually sets an alarm early anyway and snoozes 6 times (really annoying since I don't need to get up), but if I'm in the mood then my window is between snooze 1 and 3. Any later and I'll cop the usual "not enough time, get off me" line

 

[Seasoned]

Are you gone 24/2 on the weekends? If so all that's obviously left are mornings, evenings and sex vacations or mini get-a-ways. Is he waiting for weekends to get himself off. Find out. If it's at other times join him for quickies.

 

[MisterMajestic]

how long have you been dating?

Also, try to switch things up - my boyfriend has no problem waking up early. He's big on crashing around 10/10:30 for the night. So instead, we have sex in the morning right when he wakes up, before we shower to start the day.

We've had sex at various times of the day, but when scheduling is tight because of our schedules, I usually set my alarm clock on my phone to wake up 10 minutes before him - I brush my teeth, turn on the iron so he can iron his clothes for work (so its warmed up and ready to go after sex), let the dog out, then jump back in bed, wake him up with a gentle back rub and as his alarm is going off he's normally hard and we have some great sex. Give it a shot - see if it helps you out

This is the Winning comment.........



Your advice goes out to Gay & Straight couples. Switching things up works. I had to do the same thing years ago..We worked 2 different shifts so we made Love before I went into work @ night and we'd do "quickees" during the daytime lunch break...

It really works and the sexual needs are met.....We eventually broke-up for other reasons...

 

[mbamike]

Sex is very important in a relationship. Talk with him and schedule a time when you can have sex with him. Compromise from both partners will be necessary.

 

[Just_Believe18]

On a side note, I would worry somewhat about infidelity here. I find it hard to believe that he's too tired to want any sex at all, when clearly you want it yourself. Being "too tired" is always something to worry about. There's a disconnect here that needs fixing sooner than later. Have the conversation of you desiring more intimacy.