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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

My boyfriend Cried :/

What you agreed on years ago is irrelevant. People change, and so do circumstances, especially when you're young.

Anyway, just tell a few people. Make it about you, because that's who it's about in the end. Just explain that you don't want to hide, and be dishonest. You can be sure it will be passed on and you won't have to tell everyone personally.
 
Nobody who's straight thinks their relationships are "no one's business," in fact family and freinds are quite sure it is thier business, and striaght people will tell you all about it - without you wanting to know shit, why is that different for gay men?

Because gay men tell themselves that "no one's business" crap to justify thier closet, thier discomfort with themselves and who they want to fuck - and kiss and cuddle with.

The only people who think their relationships must be hidden are people who are ashamed of them.
 
So..... Why aren't you out yet? I haven't heard a single good reason yet. Sack up, be the man your boyfriend deserves and leave the closet. Harsh, maybe. But still true!
 
MascutarHero said:
I don't think I'm as "strict" as I use to be about people knowing or finding out, but I don't understand why it's still such a huge secret from my friends and families. I think it's something awkward to discuss, I've learned about myself I am a private person and do believe it's no ones business, but that just sounds like another excuse to stay in the closet.
My plan is to sit my mom down and just tell her and try to get her to understand, like I said I know she has "the idea" but I know she needs me to confirm it. I'm honestly not too sure on when, but I defiantly want to do it. Maybe it'll be relieving like many results from other peoples coming out experiences. As for friends, I'm not sure how I'll do that.
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Hi MascutarHero,

Thanks for your nice and friendly reply. I tend to agree with others that situations often change with time. So right now, the relationship with your boyfriend is a different one as it was just short after you started dating with him.

I have re-thought about this situation and I tend to support others that you should tell your mother (family) soon (ASAP towards my humble opinion) that you are gay, and that X is your boyfriend. I tend to think that X is expecting this from you (though I tend to think that X is too polite and too friendly to tell this straightforward to you; wow, you really have a very kind and a very nice bf).

How about other people in your surroundings? Likely, some (many?) of them will be aware that X is gay (you told us he is more open), and that you and X are often spending alot of time together. How about all the nice girls in your surroundings? They will know that you have no girlfriend (and also no one is aware of any history with girls in the past?). So why is this 'nice guy' still single? Too shy? Too busy with his study / work / sports?

And why are you spending so much time with X? Maybe many girls will be able to identify X as gay? Be aware that many girls have a good gaydar, and don't be too surprized that many girls will be aware that you and X are 'a couple'. One 'sweet' smile of much, much less then a second (from X to you, or vice versa) is often more then enough for such girls to 'know the truth'.

I also agree with TX-Beau. Your straight friends will often announce very casually that they have a girlfriend (or kids or will marry with their girlfriend and so on), and you will take that for granted.

Being an open gay will mean you don't need to hide anymore that X is not just 'a friend' (eg, when X is texting you or is making a phonecall to you when you are together with other ppl), but that you will react on a similar way like your straight friend would react when his GF was texting / calling him. Or put a photo of X on the screen of your cellphone. 'Who is that'? 'Ah, my boyfriend'.

How many straight ppl have a photo of their kids on the screen of their cellphone?

Best wishes, and feel free to ask more advise.
 
Hey guys. Thanks for all the comments you made in this forum. It made me believe that a serious relationship is not possible without coming out.
 
Seasoned always has great advice.

You and your boyfriend sound like amazing guys. You have the world ahead of you so be yourself.
 
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