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My Boyfriend Does Not Want to Do Anal

H

Horschallen

Horschallen
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Everyone in a relationship should keep an open mind to all possibilities and try them at least once each before deciding whether to stick with particular act or not.
 
I agree with your boyfriend. ;)

I have no desire whatsoever to do anal.
 
my guy has had no anal experience at all - he told me had tried it a few times - and it was neither successful nor pleasurable

told me recently he just doesn't like it - and can't picture himself liking it

we've done it a few times and clearly he didn't dig it - was nervous - not really open to it - quite frankly not a whole lotta fun for me knowing he's not liking it

was kinda resigning myself to me being the bottom

he was worried i would resent him for it - i didn't really think that would be the case although i do enjoy topping

then the other day he says let's not go to dinner in nyc (our original plans) instead .................

it was great - he liked it

still a lotta work to do ;)

not sure what changed his mind - prob just wanted to please me

but his mindset was diff - and u could tell he was more relaxed

soooooooooooooo

this is a long winded way of saying "hang in there"

keep communicating

don't make any ultimatums - don't be selfish - just keep talking

best of luck
 
He is not in love with you yet....the day he falls for you..as a serious bf you will get what you want. Have patience and try to conquer his hard other than just getting his cock hard (or yours for that matter).
 
I wouldn't withhold bottoming just because he's not sure about doing the same. Try it that way first. You may decide it's mindblowing, and don't ever want to try topping. :) And even if that doesn't happen, he may be encouraged by your enjoyment (and by his feelings for you) to give it a go.

Lex
 
Not every relationship has both parties on the same page.
Let's say he told you he wanted to try scat play. He's never done it before but wants to try it. You know for a fact you don't want to go there at all. What would you do if he gave you an ultimatum?
 
volcom1206 said:
Does anyone else think it is unfair of him to only want to do one and not even try the other? Is there anyway of warming him up to the idea?
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Is anal the issue here? Or is the issue that you're a more adventurous guy who is more open to new things but your boyfriend is more afraid of trying new things?
 
volcom1206 said:
Kara- I think the problem is that he is not one to try new things. He said he tried swallowing and gagged, so he hasn't done it since. I do not really mind, but I am trying to tell him that I gagged my first time too. It gets easier every time obviously.
I really could care less if he swallows or not, but it sounds so silly to say that "I gagged once, so I cannot swallow." My problem is just that I need a gentle way of saying "give it one more try, it gets easier," without sounding like an asshole.
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The challenge is going to be the longevity in the relationship. You're the type who is more open and adventurous. It may be that this guy offers stability and constancy and you like that. But unless he's willing to drop his preconceptions and barriers to be more adventurous, you're going to outgrow him pretty quick.
 
volcom1206 said:
If that happens so be it. I am still only 18. I am very young. I am not looking for my soul mate, I am just dating and enjoying myself. I really like him, he really likes me. I am just going to go with the flow, and if all goes well, hopefully fuck him and have him enjoy it :sex:
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Good attitude to have.
 
For what it is worth I would suggest that you are getting way ahead of yourself and your friend. Our culture suggests many things about sex to us which when we become involved prove to have been very misleading. When you bond with another person so that you care about that other person and can even admit to yourself that you love that other person, you may find yourself doing things which you had never imagined yourself doing with another man. But, when it happens, the sex comes about as a kind of confirmation of the bond between you and as time goes by your sexual expression becomes more adventurous. My partner and I did not sit down and plan it, but one lazy afternoon he seemed unusually attentive to my anus and on the spur of the moment I told him to "go for it" not really knowing what it would be like. He was patient and there was no pain, only the discomfort which soon gives way to something quite wonderful. To me it was getting as close to my dear partner as I could possibly get. In the afterglow I was lavish in my sheer joy in having experienced it. (The common name for it was "cornholed" } and my partner was eager for me to "do" him which happened a few days later.

Just don't rush to judgment on anal sex. Concentrate on your relationship first; you will know when sex is appropriate and when it happens, if you are truly bonded as lovers, it will seem the most natural and right thing you have ever experienced.

Though I have never engaged in casual sex, for me sex in a committed and loving relationship is the only way to go. You don't need a manual for that; you will learn the way folks have been learning for thousands of years--by doing. I wish the best for you.
 
I actually understand the boyfriend also. I have no desire for anal sex...I think if I was really into someone and wanted to explor everything with them would be the only time I would do it...it woud take a while
 
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