My Bro Is Gay!

[pickles1008]

well first things first, i am bi and havent come out...i really dont think i ever really will, unless i act on it then that guy will know hahaha, but my brother is 5 years older than me. i have always known that he was gay,( i.e computer snooping as a kid, magazing finder, ect.) but i never would have thought he would come out. Well i was talking to him online, and i was joking with him about never having a girl friend, and i was trying to force it out of him...in a playful brotherly teasing way, but he kept closing it off with"whatever". but i finally asked him, and he said yes. in fact his exact words were "well since you asked, yes. Yes i am." WOW i as extremely nervus. He doesnt really want my family to know, but he said if they ask him he'll tell 'em but until then he wont. Now the whole thing about me being BI and NOT coming out is really messan with me, i feel like i could tell him but i really dont want any one to know, i really if my parents and other family find out he is gay for sure than i'm there only hope, (my parents only had my brother and me) but now i just really want to tell him, but yet i really dont. i dont think it would be that hard to stay in the closet excpessialy being by, i mean i love women...and men...but i still love women and i do want to get married and have kids. and give my parents hope! so i just kind really ranted there, but i need to do that to some one lol, but my biggest question is should i tell him i'm Bi?

thanks a million
pickles1008 what

 

[EricCage]

I don't see any reason to keep it from him. You can tell him and it might offer some sort of suport to him that you might understand what he's going through.

 

[Matthew522000]

Pickles, do you feel like you could just explode if you don't tell someone that you are bi? If so then your brother, who confided in you, is the perfect one to tell. He will not only understand, but will be supportive of you. It will probably even make you guys closer.

 

[HartfordGuy]

Give your parents hope? Come on. Stop the excuse game. Be yourself. If you ARE bisexual, thats fine then. But don't play the bi card just to save face.

Tell your brother you like sucking cock. You'll feel so much better.

 

[pickles1008]

Well trust me i am really Bi, havent had sex with a guy or girl yet...was close with a girl and i only made out with a guy before so ya ....but i thnk your right i really dont ant any one else knowing...is taht a bad think...i mean it wont kill me not to tell any one..i dont think....but who knows? maybe it will come out in therapy years down the road lmao!

 

[spreadeagle]

I don't think you can be sure about your sexual orientation untill you've had sex with someone - before then there's no basis for comparison. And what's to be gained by 'coming out' before you're sure? You'd only create a lot of emotional turmoil and (false) expectations for everyone, yourself included.

 

[Vacabbie]

No offense....but the only hope line is just that.....a line.

Being bi, straight, or gay does not stop anyone from having kids and a family. Be yourself and stop being afraid of society and thier view on what is normal.

Its that kind of line that soooo many people stay in the closet and in the long run regret choices they should have made.....and keeps Jerry Springer employeed!

 

[inlovewithanton]

I don't think you can be sure about your sexual orientation untill you've had sex with someone - before then there's no basis for comparison. And what's to be gained by 'coming out' before you're sure? You'd only create a lot of emotional turmoil and (false) expectations for everyone, yourself included.

I gotta disagree on that one. lol. I dont have to stab myself in the eye to know that its not a good fuckin idea. lol.
As long as I've had eyes and a dick I knew they werent looking for a girl.

 

[MindBlast]

But please you are a VIRGIN; you really have no idea about what will turn you on or off.

No. I totally disagree. I knew exactly what turned me on when I was 14 and didn't even THINK about having sex. I just knew guys were hot, and I already had a type of guy that I liked best. You don't need to have sex to know what you like.

 

[cellular]

i see no problem with you telling your bro that you are bi. i mean he told you hes gay and in the spirit of sharing, you should tell him your little secret.
personally, i dont think the stigma of being bi is as great as being gay. i think that bi people have a greater avenue of experimentation with other people which is not really frowned upon by society. whereas gays are seem in more of a bad light by society. If i had to tell someone/family/bro that im bi, i dont think that the reaction would be of shock,tear,horror.instead, i would think that the other person would be more inclined to think that im just going through an experimentation phase, and might come 'right' in the future. So you are still gonna give your parents that hope that they will get a grandchild, plus you will be able to come clean about your sexuality.

 

[spreadeagle]

I gotta disagree on that one. lol. I dont have to stab myself in the eye to know that its not a good fuckin idea. lol.
As long as I've had eyes and a dick I knew they werent looking for a girl.

To clarify: I meant the 'you' to refer to Pickles, not to people in general. The point is that Pickles says he is bisexual so presumably his 'eyes and dick' are reacting to everyone. But, as dutchboy emphasises, Pickles is a virgin who has had no sexual experience with anyone. If 'coming out' is a revelation then what is there of substance here to reveal? That he feels sexual attraction but has not acted on it? So what?

 

[Soilwork]

I''ll tell you this:

When my little brother came out to me he already knew I was gay. He and I didnt' really know each other well.. I was off to college when he was 3.

But we're now best friends and we're closer than you can imagine.

And yeah.. why can't a gay person have a family? What's this "only hope" bullshit? Being gay doesn't mean he's dead.

 

[star-warrior]

^ well said. He above all knows the kinda problems you're just realising about what to do now. Confide in him. He's 5 years older, and I hope a lot wiser too.

 

[Riverrick]

It sounds to me like you want to tell him. Doesn't he already wonder about you? If his gaydar is any good he probably does.

So when you're ready, go for it. I think its a good idea!

 

[Soilwork]

The more I think about this, the more I think about how happy I am that my bro had me there to be there.

There's a bond between gay brothers that nobody else will ever understand.

 

[luminum]

Never get married and have kids because you want to give yoru parents hope. Your parents need to find hope in themselves and in the ones they love as they are. Sometimes, we expect things only because we've taken them for granted. In this day and age, I don't think anyone has the right to expect grandkids. In fact, no one ever did to begin with, really.

So do what you want to do, not what your parents expect you to do. You don't even know if they really expect you to have grandkids for them.

As for your brother, he should know just how important it is to keep secrets about sexuality. It will probably deepen your trust of one another and your bond, as Jasun mentioned.

 

[Revan46]

you promised you wouldn't tell your family about him, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't tell your family if you confided it in him.

 

[Soilwork]

I'll tell you, last night I was at my brother's place and he and his room mate, my BF, my ex BF and a friend of my BF's were all hanging out watching a movie (V for Vendetta, if you have to know) and I realized that my brother and I were just instictively sitting next to each other kinda snuggled up and holding hands.

It's not a sexual thing at all, it's just that I'm happy to have him back. Many people can see him in my gallery and see how close we are. You can see us in my avatar.

I'm not promising you that you'll be as close as we are.. few brothers are.. but I'll tell you that life will be much better when you have a family member with whom you have no secrets.