boy-i-wanna-make-u-sweat
On the Prowl
My coming out story starts about eighteen months ago when I started a twelve month work placement as part of my university course. About two months into the placement, a new guy started at work: Damien. When we were introduced, the first thing that hit me was how hot he was. Of course I wanted to find out more about him. At that time he was 18 and I was 21 (the two youngest at the company) so we got on pretty well.
Over the next year we built up a strong friendship and I was convinced that, contrary to all the evidence, he wasn't gay. Evidence? Well: he is very well groomed, he often mucks around with gay innuendo, and he has been to gay clubs with (gay) friends. I was also convinced that he had absolutely no problem with gay people what-so-ever.
I wanted to tell him but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'd come out once before in year 11 and that didn't go well at all. There was no physical abuse but I lost my best friend and that really hurt. I still get emotional thinking about it. I knew that I could trust Damien and that it wouldn't change anything, but I just couldn't do it.
The work placement finished and I went back to uni but we kept in touch. Six months later, I came back to work over the Christmas break. I made it my new year's resolution to tell Damien.
One Thursday in January, three of us from work went out for a coffee after work: me, Damien, and the blonde receptionist (he seems to have a thing for receptionists). After a bit the receptionist had to go so it was just the two of us left. We talked for a while and all the time I was thinking 'I have to tell him'. I was scared shitless but somehow after a while I managed to get out an "I can trust you yeah?". He said something to the affirmative but I choked. After a few false starts from me he prompted "What's up man?", to which I eventually managed to respond "I'm gay".
He breaks into this huge grin and says "I knew" and I say "What?" and he says "I knew". So I asked him why he hadn't said anything and he said that he was waiting for me to tell him, if I ever did tell him. I really wanted to hug him then but I was afraid that he might not be able to breathe if I did
The next week he told me that he was proud of me and that it must have been hard. I just grinned stupidly. It feels so good to finally have someone that I can really talk to.
Over the next year we built up a strong friendship and I was convinced that, contrary to all the evidence, he wasn't gay. Evidence? Well: he is very well groomed, he often mucks around with gay innuendo, and he has been to gay clubs with (gay) friends. I was also convinced that he had absolutely no problem with gay people what-so-ever.
I wanted to tell him but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'd come out once before in year 11 and that didn't go well at all. There was no physical abuse but I lost my best friend and that really hurt. I still get emotional thinking about it. I knew that I could trust Damien and that it wouldn't change anything, but I just couldn't do it.
The work placement finished and I went back to uni but we kept in touch. Six months later, I came back to work over the Christmas break. I made it my new year's resolution to tell Damien.
One Thursday in January, three of us from work went out for a coffee after work: me, Damien, and the blonde receptionist (he seems to have a thing for receptionists). After a bit the receptionist had to go so it was just the two of us left. We talked for a while and all the time I was thinking 'I have to tell him'. I was scared shitless but somehow after a while I managed to get out an "I can trust you yeah?". He said something to the affirmative but I choked. After a few false starts from me he prompted "What's up man?", to which I eventually managed to respond "I'm gay".
He breaks into this huge grin and says "I knew" and I say "What?" and he says "I knew". So I asked him why he hadn't said anything and he said that he was waiting for me to tell him, if I ever did tell him. I really wanted to hug him then but I was afraid that he might not be able to breathe if I did
The next week he told me that he was proud of me and that it must have been hard. I just grinned stupidly. It feels so good to finally have someone that I can really talk to.