My coming out story

[Homod]

I thought I'd tell my story - it might help someone struggling to come out. I knew I was gay. There was absolutely no doubt - I wanted men and cock and I wanted it bad, but I found facing it publicly too hard in my teens. In my mid twenties I was living with a girl friend. She was a great person but to have sex with her I had to get hard looking at gay porn I had stashed away and then think about big cocks and hot male butts while we fucked. In the meantime I spent a lot of time cruising for sex at beats and public toilets etc and had a huge gay porn collection stashed in the back shed and the boot of my car (this was pre-internet). Then one day she found the gay porn out in the shed and confronted me. At first I said I was "bi" but pretty soon I had to admit I was gay and there was no going back. She was nice about and supportive and off I went into the gay world. So if you want to come out my suggestion is that you leave gay porn around on your phone or laptop for a girlfriend or friends to find - it is one way of making sure that you have to come out.

 

[Joey69]

Haha not a bad idea. I am in the closet still unfortunately

 

[TX-Beau]

Haha not a bad idea. I am in the closet still unfortunately

Any reason why?

 

[TX-Beau]

I thought I'd tell my story - it might help someone struggling to come out. I knew I was gay. There was absolutely no doubt - I wanted men and cock and I wanted it bad, but I found facing it publicly too hard in my teens. In my mid twenties I was living with a girl friend. She was a great person but to have sex with her I had to get hard looking at gay porn I had stashed away and then think about big cocks and hot male butts while we fucked. In the meantime I spent a lot of time cruising for sex at beats and public toilets etc and had a huge gay porn collection stashed in the back shed and the boot of my car (this was pre-internet). Then one day she found the gay porn out in the shed and confronted me. At first I said I was "bi" but pretty soon I had to admit I was gay and there was no going back. She was nice about and supportive and off I went into the gay world. So if you want to come out my suggestion is that you leave gay porn around on your phone or laptop for a girlfriend or friends to find - it is one way of making sure that you have to come out.

Well, probably not deceiving a "girlfriend" in the first place is a good place to start. Closets don't need company.

 

[firsttimeagain]

I thought I'd tell my story - it might help someone struggling to come out. I knew I was gay. There was absolutely no doubt - I wanted men and cock and I wanted it bad, but I found facing it publicly too hard in my teens. In my mid twenties I was living with a girl friend. She was a great person but to have sex with her I had to get hard looking at gay porn I had stashed away and then think about big cocks and hot male butts while we fucked. In the meantime I spent a lot of time cruising for sex at beats and public toilets etc and had a huge gay porn collection stashed in the back shed and the boot of my car (this was pre-internet). Then one day she found the gay porn out in the shed and confronted me. At first I said I was "bi" but pretty soon I had to admit I was gay and there was no going back. She was nice about and supportive and off I went into the gay world. So if you want to come out my suggestion is that you leave gay porn around on your phone or laptop for a girlfriend or friends to find - it is one way of making sure that you have to come out.

Interesting though…I am totally single now so I’m glad I don’t have to get uncovered that way. I want to come out with the right guy but hopefully not hurt anyone along the way. I too had to think about sucking cock and fucking a guy to keep me turned on while having sex with my girlfriend for a long time. Though I’ve never had sex with a guy. It’s was hard for me to understand that and unfair for our relationship too. Truly, as I look back, I did this in all my relationships. I’m still only curious as far as having sex with another guy, but it’s all I’ve truly ever wanted ever since I was a kid playing with my cock. Not sure how I never acted on it and always had relationships with females. But, I’m not sure if I would call myself gay or not? Because I’ve never experienced sex with a guy. I’m glad I don’t have to explain it to a girlfriend though. I’m ready to find the guy to change my status to experienced. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and I’ve been in denial forever. So, am I gay if this is the way I feel? Wish me luck because I have no clue how to find a relationship with another guy. Yes I want a monogamous lasting relationship with a like minded guy. Once would never be enough and a one night stand is out of the question too. I want sex with the right guy every day or as much as possible. I’ve got some catching up to do. Lol. Thanks for sharing your experience, it helps me know I’m not alone and what I need to do. It’s a little hard to say I am gay yet, but it might just be trivial at this point. Would saying I’m gay make it easier or not? I don’t know. But, I know what I want from now on and it’s all I want…

 

[TX-Beau]

Interesting though…I am totally single now so I’m glad I don’t have to get uncovered that way. I want to come out with the right guy but hopefully not hurt anyone along the way. I too had to think about sucking cock and fucking a guy to keep me turned on while having sex with my girlfriend for a long time. Though I’ve never had sex with a guy. It’s was hard for me to understand that and unfair for our relationship too. Truly, as I look back, I did this in all my relationships. I’m still only curious as far as having sex with another guy, but it’s all I’ve truly ever wanted ever since I was a kid playing with my cock. Not sure how I never acted on it and always had relationships with females. But, I’m not sure if I would call myself gay or not? Because I’ve never experienced sex with a guy. I’m glad I don’t have to explain it to a girlfriend though. I’m ready to find the guy to change my status to experienced. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and I’ve been in denial forever. So, am I gay if this is the way I feel? Wish me luck because I have no clue how to find a relationship with another guy. Yes I want a monogamous lasting relationship with a like minded guy. Once would never be enough and a one night stand is out of the question too. I want sex with the right guy every day or as much as possible. I’ve got some catching up to do. Lol. Thanks for sharing your experience, it helps me know I’m not alone and what I need to do. It’s a little hard to say I am gay yet, but it might just be trivial at this point. Would saying I’m gay make it easier or not? I don’t know. But, I know what I want from now on and it’s all I want…

Of course, you are going to have to say at least Bi to some guy. OK here's some hopefully not too depressing reality. Guys who are "like-minded" gay or Bi guys looking for lasting relationships, avoid guys in the closet. Being in the closet does not make one a good prospect, and obviously, to get what you want you also have to be a good prospect for the other guy. That does and must go both ways.

There's a reason that closeted guys generally choose the anonymous hook-up. It's anonymous, easy, NSA, and temporary. If that's not what you want, you need to start with yourself. BTW there is nothing at all wrong with the hook-up. A guy can hook up and look for love at the same time.

So, what does starting with yourself mean? It means figuring out what your strengths are, what needs work AND attending to that, stability, being self-sufficient, and of course, willingness to be honest about that guy with friends and family. None of us started there, some of us never got there. We all had to work at getting there, and it's a never-ending process, that's just the nature of life.

We can't tell you if you're gay or not. You'll have to discover that on your own. What I will say is that it appears obvious that you aren't straight. We can also be gay but for a variety of factors - usually internalized homophobia though - try to never admit it. Some guys are just Bi and have the same problems coming to terms with it for the same reasons.

Whatever you end up deciding for yourself though, the first step to finding that relationship you want is to deal with the baggage you have about your sexuality. We all had or have that baggage, haters force us to carry it, it's not insurmountable - and you'll be a better person for letting it go.

 

[firsttimeagain]

Of course, you are going to have to say at least Bi to some guy. OK here's some hopefully not too depressing reality. Guys who are "like-minded" gay or Bi guys looking for lasting relationships, avoid guys in the closet. Being in the closet does not make one a good prospect, and obviously, to get what you want you also have to be a good prospect for the other guy. That does and must go both ways.

There's a reason that closeted guys generally choose the anonymous hook-up. It's anonymous, easy, NSA, and temporary. If that's not what you want, you need to start with yourself. BTW there is nothing at all wrong with the hook-up. A guy can hook up and look for love at the same time.

So, what does starting with yourself mean? It means figuring out what your strengths are, what needs work AND attending to that, stability, being self-sufficient, and of course, willingness to be honest about that guy with friends and family. None of us started there, some of us never got there. We all had to work at getting there, and it's a never-ending process, that's just the nature of life.

We can't tell you if you're gay or not. You'll have to discover that on your own. What I will say is that it appears obvious that you aren't straight. We can also be gay but for a variety of factors - usually internalized homophobia though - try to never admit it. Some guys are just Bi and have the same problems coming to terms with it for the same reasons.

Whatever you end up deciding for yourself though, the first step to finding that relationship you want is to deal with the baggage you have about your sexuality. We all had or have that baggage, haters force us to carry it, it's not insurmountable - and you'll be a better person for letting it go.

Thanks for the input. Some things to ponder indeed. Just a hook up is a little scary these days though, but if it’s the right timing, then maybe a good start. Maybe a jack off partner would be a good place to start too.

 

[TX-Beau]

Thanks for the input. Some things to ponder indeed. Just a hook up is a little scary these days though, but if it’s the right timing, then maybe a good start. Maybe a jack off partner would be a good place to start too.

These days guys are actually more aware of STDs than they were pre-HIV. If that's you in your pic you'll get takers if you want them. There are also plenty of guys who fetishize being the "first." J/O, frot, hell even just making out is fun. Go at your own speed.

Rules for the hook-up

1. Never ever let a stranger fuck you bare or nut in your mouth. Don't believe what he tells you, safety first.
2. Be honest AND direct about what you want.
3. You are responsible for your own orgasm, and only your own orgasm.
5. Bring your own supplies, lube, rubbers, poppers, or whatever you plan on employing...
6. Have fun, don't be a downer.

 

[TotallyLostatLife]

You are a lucky one! Good to hear you are no longer in the closet but your girlfriends sure felt bad to know you were gay. At least she is a good woman and didn't do anything to harm you.

My coming out story is different than yours. I was in middle school and I were chatting with a dude in Facebook, imagine what type of conversation we were having, so one day I didn't logout and my account was open for everyone to take a peek, my mom saw this and gave a peek in my conversations to find out his son was and still is, gay.

That day something broke in my parents, they were waiting for me, we got into this mess, my mom was crying and my father had an expression of disappointing, sadness and wrath.

Today things are okay and they accept me, I was lucky to have awesome parents in some way, they are not perfect like everyone but at least they understand me.

 

[firsttimeagain]

These days guys are actually more aware of STDs than they were pre-HIV. If that's you in your pic you'll get takers if you want them. There are also plenty of guys who fetishize being the "first." J/O, frot, hell even just making out is fun. Go at your own speed.

Rules for the hook-up

1. Never ever let a stranger fuck you bare or nut in your mouth. Don't believe what he tells you, safety first.
2. Be honest AND direct about what you want.
3. You are responsible for your own orgasm, and only your own orgasm.
5. Bring your own supplies, lube, rubbers, poppers, or whatever you plan on employing...
6. Have fun, don't be a downer.

If that’s me in my pic? Who else would I be taking selfies of by myself? Lol. It is me indeed…Yes safety is of the most concern hence part of the reason I am where I am and still only curious. Thanks again. I will not be a downer and I plan to have fun when the time is right. I can’t imagine a total stranger or a one night stand and it’s got to be at my own speed. J/O, frot sounds like an amazing start and even making out, which I thought I would never do…but, now it really excites me thinking about how intimate it is. It is a must for foreplay and I can only imagine just how much excitement it will bring to the experience. Before and during. As much as I want to eat cum, I know it’s safety first. Thanks again for your input…

 

[cumlover91]

I thought I'd tell my story - it might help someone struggling to come out. I knew I was gay. There was absolutely no doubt - I wanted men and cock and I wanted it bad, but I found facing it publicly too hard in my teens. In my mid twenties I was living with a girl friend. She was a great person but to have sex with her I had to get hard looking at gay porn I had stashed away and then think about big cocks and hot male butts while we fucked. In the meantime I spent a lot of time cruising for sex at beats and public toilets etc and had a huge gay porn collection stashed in the back shed and the boot of my car (this was pre-internet). Then one day she found the gay porn out in the shed and confronted me. At first I said I was "bi" but pretty soon I had to admit I was gay and there was no going back. She was nice about and supportive and off I went into the gay world. So if you want to come out my suggestion is that you leave gay porn around on your phone or laptop for a girlfriend or friends to find - it is one way of making sure that you have to come out.

Thanks for sharing this. As a teen, this was always my fear. Especially whenever my brother would have to fix my computer because I was always getting viruses from all the gay porn I was watching. At a certain point in high school, the only person who knew was my friend who I would hook up with almost daily however he has always said he is straight so I knew he would never tell anyone. As i have gotten older I have told friends that i'm Bi although I have no interest in women and haven't had any interest in years, so maybe thats just a defense mechanism, but I still have not told my family. Although my sister has always made comments about me potentially being gay or marrying a man so maybe I am not as secretive as I think I am. Either way, its definitely a challenging thing for me to bring up to the family but I know one day I will tell them. Maybe I just need to start actually dating so I can introduce them to a bf.

 

[TX-Beau]

Thanks for sharing this. As a teen, this was always my fear. Especially whenever my brother would have to fix my computer because I was always getting viruses from all the gay porn I was watching. At a certain point in high school, the only person who knew was my friend who I would hook up with almost daily however he has always said he is straight so I knew he would never tell anyone. As i have gotten older I have told friends that i'm Bi although I have no interest in women and haven't had any interest in years, so maybe thats just a defense mechanism, but I still have not told my family. Although my sister has always made comments about me potentially being gay or marrying a man so maybe I am not as secretive as I think I am. Either way, its definitely a challenging thing for me to bring up to the family but I know one day I will tell them. Maybe I just need to start actually dating so I can introduce them to a bf.

We're never as sneaky as we think we are. That's balanced by other people's desire to see only what they want. If you aren't ready to come out to your family, you won't even if you have a boyfriend. The boyfriend is immaterial, and it's not very fair to drag some guy into that kind of possible drama.

Consider this, the first guy I introduced to my deeply conservative family became a target for my male Neanderthal relatives for a bit. They never hurt or bashed him, but he was made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome, and the cause of all of my gayness. I'd been out for several years at that point, and that didn't even matter. I gave them a target, and they took it. I should have approached that differently.

 

[cumlover91]

We're never as sneaky as we think we are. That's balanced by other people's desire to see only what they want. If you aren't ready to come out to your family, you won't even if you have a boyfriend. The boyfriend is immaterial, and it's not very fair to drag some guy into that kind of possible drama.

Consider this, the first guy I introduced to my deeply conservative family became a target for my male Neanderthal relatives for a bit. They never hurt or bashed him, but he was made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome, and the cause of all of my gayness. I'd been out for several years at that point, and that didn't even matter. I gave them a target, and they took it. I should have approached that differently.

That has been a big fear of mine. How will my family react to me coming out. Part of me feels like my parents will be a little shocked but fine with it since they both have many close friends who are gay but at the same time, the level of acceptance is different when it's your own child compared to friends. I do want to tell them because it has been a "secret" at least to them, since I was 10 and it would be a great weight off my shoulder. Something i definitely need to come to terms with.

 

[Thomas80]

In my opinion you don't need to have a girlfriend if you know you're gay. It's 2024, not the fifties anymore.

 

[trinket]

That has been a big fear of mine. How will my family react to me coming out. Part of me feels like my parents will be a little shocked but fine with it since they both have many close friends who are gay but at the same time, the level of acceptance is different when it's your own child compared to friends. I do want to tell them because it has been a "secret" at least to them, since I was 10 and it would be a great weight off my shoulder. Something i definitely need to come to terms with.

Perhaps they'll be surprised, but will still love you (I assume). But it's also surprising the number of people who say the parents were downright casual about it - a totally not-surprised, "Oh honey, we've known since you were a little boy, we just wondered when YOU'D finally figure it out" and are relieved that the self-realization or ability to express it - without shame - has happened in their own child. Parents may know their kids better than one thinks!