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My cousin's boyfriend

TX-Beau

TX-Beau

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Well, don't try and force something. You are not going to get along with everybody, but you can be civil and leave it at that.
 
You don't like him because he's shy?


Shy people need time to open up to others. So give him time perhaps he'll come out of his shell more if you give him a chance.
 
Try to be as friendly as possible.
 
Its not about forcing your self to like him but I think out of respect for your cousin I think you should try and compromise and be the better person. I've been in this situation so I know whats its like.
 
iHypnose said:
Hey everyone,


Here's the situation:

I live with my cousin and we love each other to death. She has had a boyfriend for quite a while and I can tell that she is happy with him. I truly want to see her as happy as possible.
I rarely don't get along with certain people, and unfortunately I don't get along at all with her boyfriend. I've told her that I don't really like him and she has accepted it. Of course she wished that we got along someway. She brings him to the house on the weekends, which is perfectly fine with me. I eat with them most of the time and we even talk for a while, but I then leave and stay in my room or go out. I've tried to befriend him, but he just has those certain qualities that I don't look for in a friend.
I know I can handle him being around, but I don't think he can handle the fact that I don't start a conversation with him because he is so shy so he will almost never start one. Of course he has realized that I don't like him because my personality changes from outgoing to shy in a heartbeat.

So guys, what do you think I should do with this small problem?

Thanks ..|
Click to expand...

Maybe in reality you are jealous of him because when he is around he gets your cousin's attention instead of you. You haven't described anything he has done to make you not like him. He's shy. So what? It seems to me that you aren't making much of an effort. Just because he doesn't have the qualities you look for in a friend doesn't give you an excuse to be standoffish with him or change your attitude when he is around. If he's good to your cousin and makes her happy, you should extend yourself more. What was the purpose in telling her you don't like him?

I recommend that you grow up and behave appropriately when you are in his company.
 
Here is my suggestion...

On a Sunday Morning -- confiscate your cousins boyfriend by telling your cousin that y'all need some "MAN" time -- and go for coffee...

THEN -- get all girlie -- and tell him how much your cousin means to you -- and explain that you really want to get along...

See where it goes from there...

:):):)
 
Instead of saying "I don't like X person" it makes things much less awkward if you are specific about what it is you don't like.

"Cousin - your boyfriend is too shy! He needs to start the conversation once in a while" is better. You're still honest, but you're focussing on something that can be changed.

Right now you are focussing on the person, and it sounds like "I don't like him and I can't explain why, nor should I have to."

Well, if you can't or won't explain it, that means it's your problem, not his, and not your cousin's.
 
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