My current college roommate and I

[wonderfulwilkinson]

Recently, I posted about my roommate and his boyfriend asking me if I wanted to have a threesome. Regardless, it (along with a lot of recent discussion about sexuality) got me thinking a lot about my own sexuality. I'm not out and am thought of, by others, as straight.

My roommate actually came out in December (even after hooking up with his boyfriend since October).

I am actually thinking about coming out to him this weekend, because we are so close. The only problem is, well, we ARE so close. We can be "touchy-feely", playful, and have deep conversations, even about him and his boyfriend, but that could change when I tell him I'm bi. If he had no idea, that could change the way he interacts with me completely and hurt our friendship and cause me to regret doing it. Even worse, I am pretty attracted to him, complicating things further...

Has anyone been in a similar situation to this and how did you deal with it? Stories would help... Even if you haven't been in this type of situation, do you have any advice to help me out?

 

[anchihiro]

He's not going to reject you or feel hurt as if you were lying to him this whole time. Why?? Because he's gay and understands being in the closet.

But don't come out to someone just because you have the hots for them. Come out for you, because you're ready to regardless of whether this person is in your life or not.

I think you think if you come out to him, something sexual will happen, which is what you secretly desire. But he has a bf, so unless its a threesome or the other guy is ok with it, don't.

 

[wonderfulwilkinson]

He's not going to reject you or feel hurt as if you were lying to him this whole time. Why?? Because he's gay and understands being in the closet.

But don't come out to someone just because you have the hots for them. Come out for you, because you're ready to regardless of whether this person is in your life or not.

I think you think if you come out to him, something sexual will happen, which is what you secretly desire. But he has a bf, so unless its a threesome or the other guy is ok with it, don't.

You bring up a good point.

I'm coming out to him, because, for me, I feel like I need to tell him in order for us to be better friends. We're also living together the next school year and we live relatively geographically close to eachother outside of the school year, so I want to improve our friendship, but don't think I can do it without being completely honest with him.

I don't know if I actually want something to happen with us UNLESS he wants it or initiates, because I wouldn't want to make our friendship awkward by approaching him in that sense. My friendship with him means more to me than a stupid relationship or hook-up.

The bottom line is that he is actually the first person I feel comfortable coming out to and I want to tell him, because he'll be accepting of it and me. I just don't want to affect the way he sees me, unless it's as a closer friend. Because he does have a boyfriend, I'm only afraid he might distance himself from me.

 

[GaymerLOL]

I don't see how you could turn down a threesome.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I want to improve our friendship, but don't think I can do it without being completely honest with him.

I don't know if I actually want something to happen with us UNLESS he wants it or initiates, because I wouldn't want to make our friendship awkward by approaching him in that sense. My friendship with him means more to me than a stupid relationship or hook-up.

When you tell him, stress these parts.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes!

-d-

 

[palemale]

Is it your relationship and friendship with him that has made you aware of your bisexuality? If so, it would be good to start off the conversation by telling him that, and might mitigate some of the awkwardness that concerns you. It would also not make him feel like you were being "touchy feely" with him while withholding this important aspect of your personality from him.

 

[Kyanimal]

w-w ...

You're over thinking this, Bud. Judging from this, and your other thread, you've got green lights all the way down the Boulevard. Unlike thousands/millions of other guys, in the attractive college roomy situation, you have the great good fortune of being presented with opportunities with absolutely all doubts cleared from your path.

These extraordinary circumstances, that you find yourself in, are only distant dreams for most others, given the "clear path" that is obviously available to you. It's entirely up to YOU whether, or not, you are going to take full advantage of it. Given what you've told us, the only obstacles you seem to be facing are your own self-doubts.

Go with your Heart, young dude! Very seldom will it lead you wrong!

And, yeah! ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[wonderfulwilkinson]

w-w ...

You're over thinking this, Bud. Judging from this, and your other thread, you've got green lights all the way down the Boulevard. Unlike thousands/millions of other guys, in the attractive college roomy situation, you have the great good fortune of being presented with opportunities with absolutely all doubts cleared from your path.

These extraordinary circumstances, that you find yourself in, are only distant dreams for most others, given the "clear path" that is obviously available to you. It's entirely up to YOU whether, or not, you are going to take full advantage of it. Given what you've told us, the only obstacles you seem to be facing are your own self-doubts.

Go with your Heart, young dude! Very seldom will it lead you wrong!

And, yeah! ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

Love you! Seriously, I appreciate your guidance and advice, all of you! It means a lot to have people take interest in my situation and give their advice.

I've decided that I don't want to post about this anymore right now unless I have questions or want advice. It's way too surreal to post about it and live it at the same time. It's happening, definitely. This will be okay! They're progressing and going my way. I'll probably end up writing about them in the future on this thread.