My Dad saw me viewing JUB... what do I do?

[-Lance-]

I would approach your dad.

I think most parents wouldn't bring it up and try to forget it.

Bring it up, be a man and be confident in your self image.

 

[SurferBoyKai]

Don't listen to this guy! He's 18 and riding the fence! He has no clue how your dad will react or if he really saw what you are looking at. Gay kids get kicked out for coming out or college not paid for. It's best to wait if you think he will flip out. Damn, I miss being 18!! I thought I knew everything to but I didn't know shit about the world. Good times.

excsue you? brah, don't invalidate me because i'm 18. that was so fuckin uncalled for. and don't tell me that i'm "on the fence." i know i have a physical, emotional, and sexual attraction to both sexes. don't say shit when you know nothin about me.

i don't mean to be so forceful about this brah, but, as i said, you've invalidated me.

this guy in in the philipines, not america. I don't think hardly anyone of u have realized that! in this case I'd tell the original poster not to bring it up again (unless the dad does) and be more careful next time.

i realized that after i had posted my opinion. i'm 1/4 filipino, but, unfortunately, i have no idea what it's like in the philippines. my gramma is from the philippines, and she's always been accepting of gays. but like i said, i can't use her to represent the entire country.

 

[boy0boy]

look at pussy pics next time you think he's gonna walk in. Than he'll slap you on the back instead of across the face.

Sorry I know this is serious. But that had me rolling on the floor!

 

[ssean18]

Sorry I know this is serious. But that had me rolling on the floor!

haha me to.. thought it was hell funny

 

[kevbo]

I wouldn't worry about it. If he did see it, and didn't freak out, I'm sure he's at least semi-fine with it. If he didn't see it, well you are in luck.

Either way, go with the flow.

 

[bluedragon4]

excsue you? brah, don't invalidate me because i'm 18. that was so fuckin uncalled for. and don't tell me that i'm "on the fence." i know i have a physical, emotional, and sexual attraction to both sexes. don't say shit when you know nothin about me.

i don't mean to be so forceful about this brah, but, as i said, you've invalidated me.

Sorry, but this is one of those cases where life experience trumps you. You said you thought it was alarming people told him to stay in the closet. I may not know about you but what do you know about his relationship with his father? Your advice if taken could get this kid beat or killed. He isn't living here. People get hanged for being gay in other countries. Your advice actually pissed me off. It was advice from someone with no real personal experience. That's the best thing about getting older. You have been around the block a couple times.

 

[-Ryan-]

ill sum it up for you enta.

I was looking at some pics earlier when my dad poked his head in (I didn't realize that the door was unlocked) and there were some pics of naked men on the screen. I panicked and took some time to shut the monitor down, but I think he saw what I was looking at.

I'm in the closet and I like it this way, but I think my dad may get mad or disappointed. What do I do?

My dad and I are close, but I don't know how he'll react. I think he might've slammed the door a little on the way out.

I don't know what to do.

here is what you do...

you should tell him that youre bisexual, thatll lessen the load.

I'd play it cool. Act like nothing's wrong, because in all reality nothing is.

If he brings it up, deal with it then.

--------------------

Why do you like being in the closet? Wouldn't it be better to be honest with your parents? Do you have a good reason to feel that he would reject you for being who you are?

How old are you? Where are you? Are you living in a repressive society?

It's difficult to answer questions without knowing enough about the person who is asking the questions and where they are coming from. I would give one answer if you are living in Alabama and a different answer if you are in New York. Also, your age is a factor. After a certain age, you don't need to pretend with your parents any more, unless they belong to a repressive religious cult.

but for other people, its always easy to lie than to tell the truth

Not good advice or even accurate.

As Liam and others said, let your Dad raise the subject and when he does use the opportunity to tell him who you are. Don't be a puss. Maybe he'll get mad a little or a lot, but he'll get over it and I'm sure he'll continue to love you for yourself.

If he doesn't, he's a dick and it is his loss not yours.

And why do you like to be in the closet ????????????????

heres why my advice is good and accurate.

hes in the p.i. they have a different legal system, and a social system as well.

if anyone finds out he is gay, he and his family will be the laughingstock

this guy in in the philipines, not america. I don't think hardly anyone of u have realized that! in this case I'd tell the original poster not to bring it up again (unless the dad does) and be more careful next time.

 

[SurferBoyKai]

Sorry, but this is one of those cases where life experience trumps you. You said you thought it was alarming people told him to stay in the closet. I may not know about you but what do you know about his relationship with his father? Your advice if taken could get this kid beat or killed. He isn't living here. People get hanged for being gay in other countries. Your advice actually pissed me off. It was advice from someone with no real personal experience. That's the best thing about getting older. You have been around the block a couple times.

and, after reading more, i had changed my opinion. it's the way you said it brah. you basically said "don't listen to him because he's young." so yes, you totally fuckin invalidated me.

and why don't you listen to yerself? what do you know about the relationship he has with his father?

 

[enderwiggen]

remember guys... this is a NO FLAME ZONE. Even though that is intended for the original posters, I think it should apply to everyone.

Arguing in public only takes away from the focus of this thread.

::: politely and with concern:::

Please carry this argument on through private messages. We dont need to be arguing in a place where we are trying to help people.

 

[bluedragon4]

and, after reading more, i had changed my opinion. it's the way you said it brah. you basically said "don't listen to him because he's young." so yes, you totally fuckin invalidated me.

and why don't you listen to yerself? what do you know about the relationship he has with his father?

I never claimed to know. I pretty much said it may not be a good thing since you were forcing it. No one is flaming in here like the guy above stated. No name calling or rudeness. I just didn't think it was responsible for him to force it. that's all. There is nothing wrong with surferboykai. Just young and figuring stuff out. It's all good.

 

[M4P]

remember guys... this is a NO FLAME ZONE. Even though that is intended for the original posters, I think it should apply to everyone.

Arguing in public only takes away from the focus of this thread.

::: politely and with concern:::

Please carry this argument on through private messages. We dont need to be arguing in a place where we are trying to help people.

Thank you!

 

[Storybook_Man]

He saw what he saw. Can't go back now unless you make something up along the lines of why you were looking at the pictures in the first place. Or do you know for a fact he even saw it? See how he acts around you. But good luck.

 

[IHeartMarco]

Telling him you're bisexual would be the worst advice at all. If I were you and I wasn't ready to come out I wouldn't bring it up at all. Telling him you are bisexual will just give him false hope and make things worse when he finds out the real truth. LIke I said, if you are not ready to come out just yet then just keep your mouth closed until he says something.

 

[BluePhoenix]

I think I have the same life like you Lars...I'm in the closet too. The only person who knows am gay is my friends and everyone I know except for my family and relatives. I really don't want them to know who I am, I just don't want them to know. Well, my dad works in another country so I grew up with females around me; my mom, sis and our nanny. I think I developed my effeminate gestures from them. My mom used to asked me whether I'm gay or not, but I actually keep saying NO! I don't know what to do if they found out..knowing them, I think they would curse me...probably hate me! And I don't know what will happen when if they found out. I am happy with this situation, at least I have my friends...

I live in the Philippines too you know...gays are accepted by friends and colleagues only (i think); only a small percent accepts sons or relatives who are gay.

 

[SurferBoyKai]

as someone who's 1/4 filipino, it's interesting to find out how hard it is for people in the phillipines. like i said, my gramma has always been accepting of like, everyone. hell, her best friend (who's her next door neighbor back on o'ahu) is gayer than little richard's underpants.

 

[-Ryan-]

Telling him you're bisexual would be the worst advice at all. If I were you and I wasn't ready to come out I wouldn't bring it up at all. Telling him you are bisexual will just give him false hope and make things worse when he finds out the real truth. LIke I said, if you are not ready to come out just yet then just keep your mouth closed until he says something.

actually, no, it is the best idea. his dad saw.

I'd play it cool. Act like nothing's wrong, because in all reality nothing is.

If he brings it up, deal with it then.

deal with it then, with this advice.

you should tell him that youre bisexual, thatll lessen the load.

 

[IHeartMarco]

actually, no, it is the best idea. his dad saw.

You don't know what he saw exactly. And even if he did see something "gay" then big deal. That doesn't mean they have to talk it over. Telling him you are something you are not is not going to help the situation.

 

[-Ryan-]

i dont think youre getting it.
did you miss the part where i said that he lives in the p.i [philippines]

where if anyone finds out he is gay, he and his family will be the laughingstock.
the dad saw, and he could very well mistakenly tell it out loud that his son was looking at naked men.

if his dad decides to bring it up, then he should definitely tell him that he is bisexual, because why else would he bring it up. denying it will lead to mistrust.

enta is good at hiding things anyway, and this way, at least he will be half outside the closet.

 

[IHeartMarco]

No I don't YOU are getting it. He's going to be the "laughing-stock" being bisexual the same if he came out as gay.

 

[SurferBoyKai]

No I don't YOU are getting it. He's going to be the "laughing-stock" being bisexual the same if he came out as gay.

maybe bisexuals aren't as bad as homosexual in the phillipines? i think you should trust ryan brah. he obviously knows more about the phillipines than you, yah?