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my deepest secret...

thanks for the best wishes. its already 100% better. Thanks for the advice the whole way through.

oh, and romanheart... Lamb is way better than chicken.
 
lamb-on-easter said:
thanks for the best wishes. its already 100% better. Thanks for the advice the whole way through.

oh, and romanheart... Lamb is way better than chicken.
Click to expand...


Hahaha, French Roast Cafe in Manhattan made the best lamb dish I've ever had. And the mango chutney pork chops were delicious too....wait, are we talking food or sex?
 
Well done Cody.

The truth more often than not does set us free.
 
Congratulations Cody... I hope you feel really proud of yourself and who you are becoming... great job mate!
 
haha. you guys are funny and make me smile. i've been doing that a lot more lately! chicken is a good discussion topic, but i prefer sex. haha.

you say to me that i should be proud of myself. i honestly dont think i could be happier.

i talked to my minister about this... she (obviously i've switched from catholic) had a lot to say. She told me that the bible says nothing can disolve us from the love of god. nothing. we talked for an hour or two, and as i was just about to leave, she showed me a picture of all her siblings, her parents, and grandparents. she named off everyone. sister anne, mother marie, brother fred...and his partner doug.


being loved by god. check.

being proud of myself. check.

having friends that stick through it all. check.

you know, i dont know what i was stressing.
 
You were stressing due to the uncertainty of it all. You were questioning if God would love you if you went this route. You weren't sure of yourself. And you weren't sure if your friends would stick by you.

...now you know. And the weight of uncertainty has been lifted. And life kicks ass again, like it's supposed to. :)

Lex
 
i feel the need to post one last update...just for anyone that may read this in the future, someone that struggled as i did.

im totally out, alllll my friends, everyone i went to school with, my boss, everyone knows. it was rapid fire, it spread sooo fast. biggest news of the year for sure. it was soo hard to deal with wondering who knew and who didnt, but i soon realized everyone did. its a small town, those words are big. once i saw that nobody acted any differently toward me...i was okay.

my friends kind of enjoy it, you know, it seems every girl want a gay friend, they just didnt know they had one all along. its brought me so much closer to many of them, and waaay closer to my guy friends, yeah, i know, wierd right? i have the most amazing friends, its not a joke.

my mom made the first statement yesterday that showed me that she is finally comfortable enough to talk about it. she said "i had everything but a black baby" and kind of laughed when we were talking about me being gay.

harassment really hasnt happened at all. i mean, seriously guys whats up with that? its pretty rockin, i have support coming from places i would have never expected! i even feel god's support. hes an amazing guy...you know?

none of that matters though, what matter is that im sooo okay with this. im so proud of my life so far. i love myself, i wouldnt change my life if i could have.

one more thing...boyfriends.
well i met this guy, totally gay. finally somebody else here in rural iowa. im not alone? oh wow? im not! hes so sweet and his voice is the cutest ive ever heard. his laugh is so amazing. anyways, we have a date tomorrow. and i told him that im new at this whole gay thing. i told him that im nervous, and he understood, when he asked why...well i told him that im scared about kissing, all that stuff, you know, its just...like im back in middle school and starting all over. he was totally fine with it. he said some things to make me feel better, he really could have said anything, it was probably just his voice that calmed me.

guys.......i really think i could have made it on my own, completly without you all. it just would have been 40 years from now. i thank you all so much. you have all been a huge part of me coming out, and leavin all that denial and pickin up all that acceptance.

ive reached the last stage...haha it was a ride, but it was totally worth it.

with only love, cody.
 
Amazing what time can do.

Don't make this your last post. We want to continue to hear more of the story that is just beginning.
 
Donatello: What happens now?
Master Splinter: Nothing. Just the rest of our lives.

Enjoy the trip. :)

And thank YOU, for coming back and letting us know how things have gone. I can't speak for the rest of us CO&R regulars, but I do love me a warm fuzzy, and your post will keep me going for at least a month. :) And secondly, as you said, there are plenty of others in your position. It's always great to have a success story to show them.

Lex
 
Lamb, what an awful horrid person you are!!! Making me cry and blubber while I'm sitting here at work in my office, you should be ashamed! LOL! (you totally know I'm kidding, right?)

I just discovered this thread today and read it from beginning to end. What a wonderful story. I wish we could make this a sticky or that we could have special page dedicated to stories like this so that every person who's having a hard time trying to figure out their sexuality or their coming out could easily find and read them.

Congratulations, I'm so proud of you and happy that it's working out. And I agree with KaraBulut said, please keep us updated on how things are going with you. :)
 
i wish i could rename the title of this thread, i would call it my success story, cause thats exactly what it is.
I want anyone in the future that goes through what i went through to know its okay, yeah, haha its okay to be gay. i know that early on in the stage of trying to figure out who you are...its hard to accept anything other than what you want, its hard to understand now, but its really okay. anything that goes on naturally in your head is normal. if you force other thoughts into your head, thats when the thoughts becomes abnormal.
i am from a small town in iowa, i have never met a gay guy until i came out. gay is something that is rarley heard of around here. but its still normal, its perfectly okay. the support i got was amazing, its strange how accepting people are.
i dont know what i am. im not sure if im gay, or bi. idk. and guess what, i dont care. im going to date for love, im going to marry for love, im going to let love happen on its own. im going to not worry.

and for those that followed me all along to my last post.... i can let you know how my first date went...

it was fun, we hung out at his house and watched a movie...well....im not sure much watching of the movie went on. hes a real nice guy, so second date? sure, why not? ...that date didnt go as smooth, we went out to eat and hung around town, he, being out and open for along time, was comforable to hold hands make out in public...me, not so much, it was wierd, i was still worring about what people were thinking. another week goes by and i tell him...im not ready to date guys, its just still too new to me. he was upset and i felt real bad, but i couldnt rush into something i didnt want. now....feeling lonely, not sure what to do, im happy with who i am, but like i said, there isnt many gay people in this area of the state....

i did start taking to another guy, really good looking and funny, and i started to like him, we were planing to hang out and then he texted me...he said that he sucks at life.
of course im thinking that i can ask him whats wrong (and show him how caring i can be) but he tells me that his ex hung out with him the night before and they "did stuff" i was really upset and basically told him that i didnt have time to deal with that crap. he knew i liked him, so why did he tell me that? was he trying to make me feel like i had compotition?? i dont understand...it really hurt.... but like i said, im lonley...i regret saying that i didnt have time to deal with that...

should i ask for his forgiveness??

thanks guys.
 
I think Guy 2 was just being human.

He was getting to know you, things were progressing fine. Then he met up with his ex. That's fine - it seems many gays hang out with their ex's, more so than straights. (Possibly because we're more often part of a "scene", and so harder to avoid?) But then he let himself be (ahem) sucked back in - they had sex. He felt horrible about it afterwards, and told you. He feels he screwed up his chances with you, and felt it best to come clean. That was cool of him, at least.

How do you respond? However you want. Why not tell him that you're disappointed, but would still like to see where the relationship might go? Just keep it on a "friend" level for now, and see what happens.

Good to see you back again. And glad things are going well. :)

Lex
 
Part of the gay world is that many gay men are self-sabotaging. They meet someone that they like and then they screw it up to drive the person away.

So, the question that you have to decide for yourself is whether guy #2 is someone with no will power with whom you're going to have trust issues or whether you're willing to try to work through the issues with him.

should i ask for his forgiveness??
Click to expand...

From guy #1, yes. From guy #2, no.
 
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