My depression thread

[BlueLantern]

Just thougth that would be better create one thread to my depression, don't need to waste cyberspace to a effortless way to feel that people care. So I will start my ramdom senseless crying. Sorry.

I don't like to be complimented (don't know if it is correct, but I want to mean that I don't like when people say nice things about me). Why? I don't believe. To be honest I like it, but I can't belive in they words. I think that they are either wrong or that they aren't saying the truth. Even whey I think that they are right, I usually think that the things is not great at all.

I don't have reasons to be proud of me, or to like myself, I don't have any usefull traits or skills. I look myself as weak, stupid, and uselless. A waste of flesh. A waste of person. A waste of son. A waste of space, time, money, anything.

Anyway I look, I see my life as a big meaningless nothing, you know that movie where the guy see how would be if he never existed. Well, I can't see my absence as a something negative at all, and mostly only as something positive, my parents would have wasted all the money in me, they might have in a better situation today. And I never made anything important to anyone. My "friends" would have little diference in they lifes.

for the moment that is it. Try to cheer me up, I telling you, will not work.

 

[BrandonSBCA]

I'm still like that when people say I'm cute I say thanks but deep down inside I don't feel cute, handsome, good looking, pretty, beautiful. I know how you feel in that department, it's hard for me to believe anyone who gives me a compliment on the Internet, I just say thanks and go on with my life I don't feel any better or any worse. Also when people give me compliments in person which is rare because only 3 people have so far it just makes me laugh and think they must be out of their mind. But when my partner says it to me it makes me feel like maybe there is something about me that he likes, which makes me to believe there is something good looking about me.

I also feel the same way about thinking what the world would be like if I didn't exist, if people would be better without me, I sometimes do think that, but at times I feel I need to take my mind out of the gutter and just live my life the way I want to live it.

 

[BlueLantern]

I can't go to a therapist... I don't have the nerve to tell my parents I need one and even so we are needing to tight our belts here =/

 

[BrandonSBCA]

I can't go to a therapist... I don't have the nerve to tell my parents I need one and even so we are needing to tight our belts here =/

Through the 7 to 8 years of depression I've had I had yet to even tell my parents I was depressed, or that I needed to see a therapist, I gave myself self therapy, sometimes it helped, and sometimes it didn't.

 

[BlueLantern]

Through the 7 to 8 years of depression I've had I had yet to even tell my parents I was depressed, or that I needed to see a therapist, I gave myself self therapy, sometimes it helped, and sometimes it didn't.

How???


Also

I have terrible, terrible memory and sometimes can't understand what people say (I hear the sound of it, but it don't make sense)

 

[BrandonSBCA]

How???


Also

I have terrible, terrible memory and sometimes can't understand what people say (I hear the sound of it, but it don't make sense)

How to give yourself self therapy? I tried to do things that made me happy and not depressed. I went through years without friends, had nobody to talk to except for the people I chatted with online.

I've had a bad memory as well, it still affects me from time to time, I forget things easily and I'm usually always trying hard to remember something that was just said to me yesterday. Also the part about understanding what people say is usually what I kind of feel, but it's the sense that I'm not paying attention that I have a problem of.

 

[BiFlexible]

How???


Also

I have terrible, terrible memory and sometimes can't understand what people say (I hear the sound of it, but it don't make sense)

I would say I understand as I also suffer from depression however, I wouldn't believe anyone if they understood how I felt so I won't say that. However, I'm pretty shocked that of the little you have written here some of it is so simular to me!

I also have a god dang awful memory, it's always been bad but I also get freaked out sometimes (when I noticed, and when I can't actually feel enough to care :/ ) that sometimes I am listening to someone I rly care about, talking about something that rly matters to them and I just seem to become mute (as in I hear it but I don't rly register the meaning) to what they say.

I'm gonna go for today 'cos I am exhausted (yea done nothing) and I rly need some sleep. AND yes at nighteen my parents are nagging me to taking the tranq tablets for the night >.<

You see, I got to the point where it was blatently obvious something was serious wrong.


Eek, hope I havn't scared you witness or said to much but I hope you're OK.

Matt

PS for the record, no I'm not sectioned, suffer from delusions, etc. just what I'm told is regular emotions taked to the extreme constantly. ~

And I hope I havn't hijacked your thread or anything :/

 

[nijuusei]

remember that only you will be able to deal with your depression ^_-
it's not a disease, and it's nothing to be ashamed of
the best therapist you can get is your best and closest friend
and that should be you, yourself
learn how to love yourself ~ love is the best medicine around
buy some good self-help books, eat healthy and get plenty of fresh air and sun,
take plenty of time for yourself ~ but don't isolate yourself either ^_-
if you have low self esteem, try doing things that you're good at and things that you like to do,
rediscover your emotional nature, kiss your wounds,
whatever demons you have inside, face them!

i also recommend you try some St Johns Wort extract, it help stabilize your mood and support your healing process, it takes a few weeks to kick in but it's totally natural ~ mother nature's way of showing that she cares for ya ^_- ~ it also doesn't require a prescription and it's quite effective ^_-

i wish you all the best of happiness

 

[BlueLantern]

Oh great, I probaly lost one of my two friends today.

he is a dancer and was giving a show tonight.

I complete forgot about that. without any excuse

no wonder I don't have friends, I only have two and still forgot about them.

 

[nijuusei]

hey.. don't be sow hard on yourself
mistakes happen ~ and you've had allot on your mind lately
i'm sure he'll understand that
he's your friend after all ^_-
i'm sure there'll be another opportunity for you to go to one of his shows, ne?
take care you

 

[drhladnjak]

Others have already commented on the worthless feelings, but I wanted to target one specific thing you mentioned--how you feel like your life is a waste. If you truly feel that way, it's up to you to do something about it. A therapist cannot make your life meaningful.

Do some volunteer work, start a business, go back to school, change jobs--anything that will give your life more value. It obviously bothers you that you feel this way, so you should do something about it. You can start small. No need to try to be the next mother Teresa right out of the gate. An hour of volunteer work per week would be a great start.

 

[BlueLantern]

hey.. don't be sow hard on yourself
mistakes happen ~ and you've had allot on your mind lately
i'm sure he'll understand that
he's your friend after all ^_-
i'm sure there'll be another opportunity for you to go to one of his shows, ne?
take care you

thanks... but I not sure what to do, and I think that was the only time he would do that show... =(

I not sure if I call him, I not good at talking, I am afraid that I will only make things worse, but not talk to him soon maybe bad =(

are you from Brazil?

 

[nijuusei]

thanks... but I not sure what to do, and I think that was the only time he would do that show... =(

I not sure if I call him, I not good at talking, I am afraid that I will only make things worse, but not talk to him soon maybe bad =(

are you from Brazil?

pick up the phone and express to him you're genuinly sorry for forgetting,
there's nothing like honesty, just express what you feel ^_-

and no i'm not ~ otherwise i'd come over to comfort you ofcourse

 

[BlueLantern]

I made this for him