my ex bf

[Silvernitrate]

Right before summer my boyfriend and i broke up because of college. He's bi and now has a gf. Just recently we saw eachother for the first time in five months and it was cool to see him again but now he keeps calling me. He tells me that he misses me and thinks about me all the time. He knows that in a few weeks i'll be back in town and he says that he's going to keep me for himself while i'm there.
I dont feel comfortable with that because he has a girlfriend. I know her and of course she knew that we used to date. She used to call us fagboys and so i dont even know why they are going out. I realized i have not gotten completely over him yet either. I miss him so much and he knows it too. He often tells me that I am way better than his girlfriend in every aspect of a relationship. I don't know what to do though its so weird. I dont know what to do when i see him in two weeks!

 

[tonyboy]

Well man, you must use your own judgement of course. I didn't read your profile so I'm not sure if you are a gay guy or bi.
The thing is about bi guys is that they often decide to move back to a g/f. You will have to determine how much you want to be with your friend.... whether you are looking for a LTR with him or just a buddy to hang with, maybe have occassional sex with. That is up to you.
Falling in love with a true bisexual though is tough for a gay man. Since they have the ability to fall in love with both sexes you are not always certain if they will stick with you through a LTR.
It's not that I don't believe they are sincere when they are with a partner, it's just that they can change the direction that their affections lie.
Good luck to you man.

 

[screwnutty]

Why did you guys break up over College anyways?

oh well my advice is to not look back...yeah I know you still have feelings for him and all but what if as Tonyboy says he decides to go back to his Girlfriend? Actually is he leaving his girlfriend? Otherwise I think the guy just wants his cake and the ability to eat it too. I've been there. It wasn't pretty.....my friend and I don't talk anymore to each other because of his new girlfriend. His G/F knows about us and she buys that he was confused and that he was just experimenting....news for you....spending 7 years doing what we did....isn't experimenting! Oh well anyways long story short...she viewed me as a threat and worried about us hang out together well she was in college. She also made me feel uncomfortable and she always started "snuggling him" and kissing him when I was around them and looked at me for my reaction. So as John Cash once wrote...."Love is like a burning flame and burns a firey ring....I fell for you like a child...oh but the fire went wild!" Boy did it ever....we had words and almost came to fistycuffs too....I walked out of his life and we don't talk anymore. Don't let this happen to you and your friend. I hope this helped in someway!

 

[slobone]

Stay away. This guy sounds like trouble to me. The two of you are definitely on two different pages. He wants to have a gf and a bf on the side, while you sound like you want something more than that from him.

He probably just wants to gratify his ego by showing that all he has to do is yank the string and you come running. Maybe he had a tiff with his gf and wants to get even with her, or maybe he seriously believes that his feelings for you are real. Doesn't matter. As long as he's still with her, you're only going to get hurt.

And he lets her get away with homophobic remarks? This guy has problems.

 

[star-warrior]

Ask yourself, when you have to go back to college, what then? You need to talk to him and explain that you can't be yo-yoing between, and having a physical relationship whilst he has a girlfriend who he also sleeps with is, well, up to your moral viewpoint of being ethical or not. If she doens't mind a 3 in the bed romp, go for it, but.... You get the idea.

 

[Salter]

Why did you guys break up over College anyways?

Otherwise I think the guy just wants his cake and the ability to eat it too.

Or to have his cock and eat it too.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

John

 

[confusedboy23]

maybe just another example of what happens when you sit on both sides of the fence. if you knew you were both bi at the start then i don't see what you're complaining about, something like this was bound to happen sooner or later whether with this guy or someone else, goes with the territory doesn't it ??

Ummm, I think only one is bi in this story......

 

[trawler69]

Friendship is important and it is clear that you both are good friends so try and keep that but let him know that there will be no sexual contact while he still has a girlfriend, not as a form of blackmail but because you need to prevent possible hurt both to yourself and his girl friend if he were to start having a relationship at the same time as having one with her.

At the end of the day having a good friendship is better than having an on and off relationship. Relationship breakups hurt, friendship does not have those stresses that cause a breakup, such as jealousy, needing your own space etc. I am lucky in that my ex and I are still best friends and living together but it took a bit of work on both our parts to get where we are now.

 

[Silvernitrate]

my ex is the bi one. I am gay, but I kind of see what you guys mean. I do sometimes think i am his fling on the side. Its not because of what he does, its just what i think. If thats the case he plays it off really well. I am just going to see what he has to see when i go back and i'll ask him questions.
Also the reason we broke up for college is because our schools are in different states.

 

[taiger65]

You shouldn't play around with him. When you see him, just be careful about what you say and do so that you don't lead him on, and so that he doesn't lead you on. It's probably for the better (I'm sure of it) that when he has a girlfriend, you just be his friend, nothing more.

If he really thinks you're better than his girlfriend, then he'd break up with her so that he could be with you...

 

[spreadeagle]

Don't let the bi thing confuse you. Imagine that he had a new BOYFRIEND but that everything else in the scenario was the same, and then respond accordingly.

The issue here is not the gender of his current partner. It's about his attitudes towards monogamy and cheating. Since he's clearly cheating on his current partner by being flirtatious with you and bad-mouthing her, this gives an indication of how he is likely to treat you in the future. He sounds immature and unreliable.

 

[kurtwild]

i guess your ex wants you back,right?
so go for it if you want him too! its easy!
and if it dosent work,well then you ll break up,but maybe it will work.
i mean you broke up just cos of the different schools,not cos you didnt like eachother or cos you got in a fight.
and who cares if he has a girlfriend!he will break up with her.
if you want him just go and take him!

 

[kurtwild]

Don't let the bi thing confuse you. Imagine that he had a new BOYFRIEND but that everything else in the scenario was the same, and then respond accordingly.

The issue here is not the gender of his current partner. It's about his attitudes towards monogamy and cheating. Since he's clearly cheating on his current partner by being flirtatious with you and bad-mouthing her, this gives an indication of how he is likely to treat you in the future. He sounds immature and unreliable.

maybe he just wants you and thats why he is gonna cheat on her!
it dosent mean he is gonna do the same to you!