My first date in 10 months - need advice

[Jimbo2184]

Hi guys.

Well, it looks like someone I chatted up on MSN wants to take me out on Saturday night for a date, at a gay club near to where I live.

Trouble is tho, I haven't dated anyone in about 10 months, and I'm a bag of nerves.
He's agreed to come over to my place at some time or other, and he's single so thats something.

I really do like him a lot, I know I've just met him today, but an offer like a date is too much to refuse.

I've been hurt very badly about 10 months ago by my ex, who cheated on me, but I need to move on, only this time I have to take things much slower.

Any tips for a first date guys? I'm CRAP at chatting up guys, so a few pointers would be great. Cheers.

 

[screwnutty]

Hello!

Well first off...don't worry about being nervous. He'll be just as nervous as you are!

second point, Just be yourself. Don't pretend to be something your not, be open and honest and you should do just fine!

final point, tell him that your nervous as hell! Tell him that this is your first date in 10 months and just be yourself. If you "click" you'll know it...if not, well at least you found a good friend right?

oh enjoy yourself....don't spend the whole evening worrying if things are going okay. Just sit back and relax!

Good luck to ya!

 

[Jeimuzu]

Just remember to breathe...

Wise words.

Just be happy, nervousness won't be a problem, but just have a good time. Chat and get to know him better, that's the important thing.

 

[Jeimuzu]

Just remember to breathe...

Wise words.

Just be happy, nervousness won't be a problem, but just have a good time. Chat and get to know him better, that's the important thing.

Hey, wait a sec... I know Telford! I was there in august... I was, ironically enough, going to stay with someone I met over msn.

 

[iatrospy]

nice to hear that
I've been in a dead period for about 14 months...after my broke up with my previous guy...as so I'am very glad for you...it is a change and maybe a start...don't worry at all...what will be will be....in any case it is something good for you and your mentality...
xxx Spyros, Greece

 

[jockboy01]

I say nervousness is expected on the first date... and no need to tell him. You'll be fine, just relax and be yourself... and yes, move slower this time.

 

[Riverrick]

I find telling people helps get rid of the nerves some. Probably because I'm nervous that they will notice that I am nervous. But, play it by ear.

Your nerves will probably calm down as soon as you are together. Good luck!

 

[Jimbo2184]

Thanks guys for all your responses, I just can't wait now. If it does go a little pear shaped then it won't matter anymore, because I'd have only gained a friend in the process, so its win-win.

Quote: "Hey, wait a sec... I know Telford! I was there in august... I was, ironically enough, going to stay with someone I met over msn."
I wonder whereabouts you were in Telford then? It'd be more ironic if its not far from where I live lol.

I will of course keep you guys updated on what happens, I'm nervous sure, and it turns out Gary is also nervous as well. Only 3 more days to go until I see him, oh I can't wait lol.

 

[Riverrick]

Only 3 more days to go until I see him, oh I can't wait lol.

 

[RicanDAB]

Good luck Jimbo!

I went out on my first date in Sept. -- 13 months after my breakup of a 3-year relationship. I was nervous like nobody's business ... mainly because I forgot what dating was supposed to be like. A relationship sure makes you complacent! Glad to report that 2 months later it's going well.

Just get over the first date hump and go with the flow ... don't force anything! And going slow is the key too ... that's working for us also.

 

[Centexfarmer]

Honestly I don't "date" very well.

Partly because I have this nasty habit of viewing a date as being on a job interview for a job that I'm not sure that I want.

However, I realize that there will always have to be that "first meeting."

So I approach it as meeting a new potential best friend. That takes the pressue off, and allows me to be more myself without all of the expectations of what should I say now, what should we talk about. Instead, I ask question like, Where did you grow up? How did you come to live here? What do you like about living here? Where's your favorite place to eat, etc.

I haven't found "my boyfriend" yet, but I've made some really amazing and wonderful friends! Guys that I can hang out with, go to events with, and just "be" with. There have been a few guys where we've talked about whether or not we should get more "involved" but each of us, now being friends, could more honestly talk with each other about what all that means.



So just go and have a good time! Leave the expectations at home, and be open minded for anything. Most importantly be yourself. Better to find out in the first few minutes/hours how compatible you are with each other, than to find out years later when it's too late/painful to admit it.

Good Luck!

 

[dkonfrost]

ahh, congratulations!

you'll be fine, a little nerves are normal. It's clichéd but it's true: be yourself! you have nothing to hide, and he's going out to get to know you.

and centexfarmer is right, approach it like meeting a new friend, it puts much less pressure on you. leave the expectations at home, 'cept have a great time!

 

[Jimbo2184]

Well sorry to bring up a dead and buried thread but something wierd just happened.

I rang up the guy to check we were still on for going out tonight, he said he's definately going, but when I asked him what time I should meet him up there, he well hung up on me.

Question is now, should I go regardless and hope I meet him up there, drop him a text to say I'll be there at <insert time here>, go out anyway and forget the fact he's invited me on a date, or go out with my mates instead?

Its a tough call I know, I wanted to meet this guy, but at the same time I don't want to be messed around.

God I have no idea what to do anymore.