My first proper gay 'night out' - older guy manipulating younger one

[ChickenGuy]

So one of the guys I sort of know, he invited me out tonight, and so I had one of my first proper experiences of the gay bar/club scene. I was only on soft drinks, since I don't touch alcohol. But it was an OK night out, even if these places aren't really my sort of thing.

But this 'couple' who came over to our table and who we talked to - well, a lot of JUBbers will probably be VERY familiar with this sort of tale....

Guy 1: An 18-year old, good-looking, sweet, friendly, but already COMPLETELY drunk, slurred speech, staggering, and constantly saying "This is a gay bar?" "No-one told me this was a gay bar." "I'm not gay." He was more interested in his female friend (a work colleague) than any of us.

Guy 2: A 47-year old, and Guy 1's BOSS! Openly gay. He was staring at me, he seemed a bit creepy. I asked him about Guy 1, and he said that he was staying with him tonight. He was coming on to my friend, and he was also touching my legs and thigh with his foot. I tried to ignore him.

Anyway, the young guy just became even more and more out of it, throwing back shots, one of which was handed to him by the older guy. Then he started gagging, and threw up all over the floor. He was semi-conscious at this stage.

My friend was very angry with the older guy. We got some help for him, and (and I'm sure this happens regularly) one of the bar staff helped him outside, and put him against the wall to steady him on his feet.

Me and my friend left him at that point, with the older guy beside him. I hope he was alright. I didn't like to leave him under the other guy's control.

So........

Is this sort of situation very frequent?

From the looks of it, this was an older gay man taking advantage of a possibly straight/bisexual younger boy, plying him with alcohol, and who knows where the pair of them ended up, or what happened to him.

I know they're both adults, and it's not my business, but I didn't like it.

Poor young lad.

 

[anchihiro]

Yeah I don't blame you, I'd be worried too.

I once had a friend who is gay, but got took advantage of on a night out by a guy who really wasnt his type but gave him his first E pill.


I think if I were you though I would of tried to make the drunk kid aware of what was really going on. Maybe on one hand he secretly wanted it, but was afraid so plastered himself with booze to help himself cope with what would happen next.

Or the old man genuinely was taking advantage and deserves a smack in the face.

If it were one of my friends, I just wouldnt physically let it happen and I 'd push the old guy away from the drunk kid and made sure he got home safe, pay the taxi man if necessary etc. He might be annoyed that night, but he'd thank you later on.

 

[Hot White Trash]

I agree with Ravenstar - the ages were irrelevant. But what was relevant was that one was the boss of the other. No boss should put him/herself in that position.

I actually think someone should have done more. First, someone already trashed should not be served more liguor. The bar should not have served him but anyone at that table could and should have said "no more." Second, I would have made sure he understood what was going on before letting his boss take him home. I don't buy into the "its none of my business" line of thinking when someone is in bad shape.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

So one of the guys I sort of know, he invited me out tonight, and so I had one of my first proper experiences of the gay bar/club scene. I was only on soft drinks, since I don't touch alcohol. But it was an OK night out, even if these places aren't really my sort of thing.

But this 'couple' who came over to our table and who we talked to - well, a lot of JUBbers will probably be VERY familiar with this sort of tale....

Guy 1: An 18-year old, good-looking, sweet, friendly, but already COMPLETELY drunk, slurred speech, staggering, and constantly saying "This is a gay bar?" "No-one told me this was a gay bar." "I'm not gay." He was more interested in his female friend (a work colleague) than any of us.

Guy 2: A 47-year old, and Guy 1's BOSS! Openly gay. He was staring at me, he seemed a bit creepy. I asked him about Guy 1, and he said that he was staying with him tonight. He was coming on to my friend, and he was also touching my legs and thigh with his foot. I tried to ignore him.

Anyway, the young guy just became even more and more out of it, throwing back shots, one of which was handed to him by the older guy. Then he started gagging, and threw up all over the floor. He was semi-conscious at this stage.

My friend was very angry with the older guy. We got some help for him, and (and I'm sure this happens regularly) one of the bar staff helped him outside, and put him against the wall to steady him on his feet.

Me and my friend left him at that point, with the older guy beside him. I hope he was alright. I didn't like to leave him under the other guy's control.

So........

Is this sort of situation very frequent?

From the looks of it, this was an older gay man taking advantage of a possibly straight/bisexual younger boy, plying him with alcohol, and who knows where the pair of them ended up, or what happened to him.

I know they're both adults, and it's not my business, but I didn't like it.

Poor young lad.

try read ya post but WHAT? it script fa porn flic?

millions situations frequent world ova!!!!! ans folk all ages all time unless robots then ya check made by date

 

[bankside]

Age isn't the factor itself, but somehow age can relate to experience vs. inexperience, and people will often try to take advantage of the inexperience of others.

It isn't everyday, but it isn't uncommon, and I daresay it is the sort of thing you could also see at a straight bar if you had been inclined to go there instead.

 

[Seasoned]

I read your initial post and none of the follow up answers. Basicly you will find drunks in any bar on any given night. Some people, young and old, gay and straight, use drugs to manipulate. No one can force someone to get drunk. Bartenders are not suppose to serve people already drunk. Alcohol poisoning can be a consequence of binge drinking. Among drinkers, drinking is not taken seriously.

There is nothing like fearing for another person and the smell and sight of vomit to cap off an evening. If you decide to do this again a neighborhood bar or a piano bar earlier in the evening might be a better choice.

 

[MercuryJones]

The age is a non-issue, the workplace reporting relationship is a big problem.

 

[crowboy]

Hey CG. First off I am glad you have had a night out in your new surroundings. I am disappointed it was such an experience however. As has been mentioned, this sort of experience happens in ANY bar or club, not just a gay one. I hope you learn something from this experience. Your inexperience and shyness obviously prevented you from being more assertive and taking a stand against this "Guy 2".

There was a case here a while back in which someone under the influence (and deemed under the law to not be in control of the situation), was coerced into a sexual encounter they would not have performed sober. The perpetrator of the act was charged and prosecuted with rape. If you apply that to your situation, you were in a position to possibly (and we do not know) prevent a rape. That to me is a powerful thought.

I would like to think that if a were in your shoes that night, I would have taken a stand and told Guy 2 he was out of line for continuing to allow this guy to drink, asked for help from the friend I was with and get Guy 1 home safely.

It is easy for me to say that as I sit here, as I was not in the situation. I would however like to think that if I were taken advantage of, whether it be drink, drugs or drink spiking or whatever, then my friends or even a stranger who recognizes I am in trouble, would assist me. I'd like to think I would do that if I were to witness it.

It is all too easy to think that now or when removed from the situation. Guy 1 may well have been looked after, but from what you describe ......

CG do not take this experience as a frequent occurence or as a gay thing. Yes there are aholes in this world. But if the good guys (like us) do not stand up, then what hope is there.

 

[Ephemeral]

Amazes me how no one has chastised the drunk guy yet.

This guy isn't 10-years-old. He's an adult. He made the decision to willingly alter his perception. If he wasn't with someone he could trust, why in the hell was he drunk and accepting more drinks from his boss?

I wish him the best, but he needs to use his brain the next time.

Common sense is becoming a rariety these days.

 

[altlover85]

I agree with Ephemeral. The younger guy should also have some responsibility in this matter.

 

[CudDULL]

It happens, alcohol impairs judgment and if you don't surround yourself with people you can trust, its your own fault.

 

[Hot White Trash]

It happens, alcohol impairs judgment and if you don't surround yourself with people you can trust, its your own fault.

That sounds different from your position about that zionist slut - you blamed the guy. Maybe you're biased.

 

[fetaby]

People are still people. Yup.

 

[bendted]

"This is a gay bar?" "No-one told me this was a gay bar." "I'm not gay."

I love it when 'straight' guys 'accidentally' end up in gay bars...and proclaim vociferously that they are 'not gay.' Classsic!

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

You're tight there HWT. The bar breached it's duty of care by serving someone who was obviously intoxicated with more alcohol.

I don't think they take that duty as seriously in the UK as they do in Oz.

If lil' mister soon-to-be bossfucker is old enough to pour the booze through the hole underneath his nose, he's old enough for the other stuff as well.

 

[CudDULL]

That sounds different from your position about that zionist slut - you blamed the guy. Maybe you're biased.

We'll I didn't comment on the zionist slut but I just used the story to state that being deceived into sex could be rape. In that woman's case I think it was her own fault beside thats a stupid reason to sleep with a stranger.

 

[altlover85]

I don't know if I would consider it rape though, since he could have stopped the drinks before he got trashed and thus avoided the whole mess. It's not like ruffies where you could be slipped one without your knowledge.

 

[unloadonme]

Rape depends on the absence of consent. If you have sex with someone who's so drunk they're unable to consent, that can be rape.

 

[BostonPirate]

I've been around and through one or two gay bars in my life, and I know the game these guys were playing with each other.

Young guy wants free booze, and makes flirtatious overtones to older guy.

older guy plies young guy with booze and fucks the drunk.

Older guy gets blamed for seducing and/or raping young guy.

To the young guy I would say... if you play with matches and manipulate people to get you to the point of mental impairment, you cannot blame the older guy.

to the older guy I would say... if you are so depserate that you have to get a young guy who obviously doesn't want you so drunk to have sex you are pathetic. WHY not just break into a morgue and fuck a dead body instead.

neither party here is exactly innocent, but the person that is harmed the most is the young guy.

We need to expect the older members of the gay community to supply a bit more of an example, and we need to tell young gays to accept responsibility for their bad mistakes.

as has been noted above...older men are often assumed to be dirty old men and young men are often assumed to be objects without feeling.

it is an OLD problem and its not going to go away anytime soon

 

[sd1989]

Being that age once and not long passed it, I know at 18 I made my own choices, and getting drunk was a choice, the older guy may have been taking advantage but the younger guy obviously wanted that or he wouldnt of been accepting drinks of the older guy in the first place.

I dont know why the subject of rape has come up in this thread though??

And don't feel sorry for the lad, he's at a gay bar, accepting drinks of another guy, I highly doubt he was straight!