My friend wants to join military: Should I talk him out of it?

[evanrick]

So one of my friends wants to join the military & he may be soliciting opinions about it, not really sure.

The reason I am concerned is because he was in an accident recently, he had to be resuscitated had stated that this event made his anxiety worse, that he thinks he has PTSD.

Now if he does and hes not even in the military yet, I dont see how that can be a good thing for him.

I want to ask him if there was anyone who has tried to talk him out of joining, but I dont want to dash his hopes if its really what he wants to do. Im not even sure he would listen to me or anyone since he is clearly unhappy with his situation atm.

I asked him what he would be doing in the military and he mentioned mechanical area, so maybe that would be alright for him.

I would be losing a friend if he did join, so I am aware that may be influencing my feelings about it.

What do you guys think?

 

[chrisw87]

some people are destined to serve their country in one way or another, some aren't.

If he likes the idea of taking an oath and living by it, serving his country somehow and joining a brotherhood in one way or another I'd say let him go for it.

I was in law enforcement and risked my life in many ways, ending up in a few life threatening situations where I felt at 22 it wasn't worth it.

I am yearning for the opportunity to live by an oath again, and using my abilities to serve my country, it may not be the military, but it has para-military ideals.

It may harm him in the end, but it may also make him a better person for the experience. I'd say talk to him and asses if he is ready to risk his life for a set of ideals, if he is, then I'd say let him have his experience and benefit his country.

 

[JayQueer]

What do you guys think?

Don't let your political views or your personal opinions about war dissuade him from joining.

If he really wants to join the military, you should be supportive of his decision.

 

[star-warrior]

I'm sure there are loads of mangled soldier pics on the net. Not that I advise shock and awe...

 

[evanrick]

ok two posts for, two against. still kinda at a crossroads here.

 

[MisterMajestic]

So one of my friends wants to join the military & he may be soliciting opinions about it, not really sure.

The reason I am concerned is because he was in an accident recently, he had to be resuscitated had stated that this event made his anxiety worse, that he thinks he has PTSD.

Now if he does and hes not even in the military yet, I dont see how that can be a good thing for him.

I want to ask him if there was anyone who has tried to talk him out of joining, but I dont want to dash his hopes if its really what he wants to do. Im not even sure he would listen to me or anyone since he is clearly unhappy with his situation atm.

I asked him what he would be doing in the military and he mentioned mechanical area, so maybe that would be alright for him.

I would be losing a friend if he did join, so I am aware that may be influencing my feelings about it.

What do you guys think?

My 18yr old 2nd-cousin joined the service right out of high-school a couple of years ago..She was also in the ROTC program before she graduated and beyond ready to serve Our Country. She wants a Career in the Military and is determined to reach her goals..My cousin is the first family member on my Mother's side to enlist. We are so Proud of her. I brag about her every chance I get...LOL...

I always believe that it takes a level of "Bravery & Greatness" to enlist and put your life on the line to protect OUR freedom. I would never enlist unless things got so bad and our Country needed all able-bodied Men they could get to FIGHT. I understand that as an American Our Freedom is never Free...

Evanrick I can't tell you what to say to your friend, you'll have to search your Soul for the answers you seek... But I sure can tell you that I Pray for my Little-cousin and ALL the troops EVERY DAY and I hold my head=up even higher...

I'm sure Sultan can give you the 411 on some things...
___________________________________________
__________________________

 

[Kabluey]

If he thinks he has ptsd then maybe he's not in the right space to commit to anything like that yet. Remember he is his own person.
Getting a bit of counseling and some good advice could help here.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

If he wants to, let him.

 

[asu1117]

It's his life to do with as he pleases, if you're really his friend you should support him, if this is what he ultimately decides to do.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

So one of my friends wants to join the military & he may be soliciting opinions about it, not really sure.

The reason I am concerned is because he was in an accident recently, he had to be resuscitated had stated that this event made his anxiety worse, that he thinks he has PTSD.

Now if he does and hes not even in the military yet, I dont see how that can be a good thing for him.

I want to ask him if there was anyone who has tried to talk him out of joining, but I dont want to dash his hopes if its really what he wants to do. Im not even sure he would listen to me or anyone since he is clearly unhappy with his situation atm.

I asked him what he would be doing in the military and he mentioned mechanical area, so maybe that would be alright for him.

I would be losing a friend if he did join, so I am aware that may be influencing my feelings about it.

What do you guys think?

1 he twat but millions eat popcorn ans bedtime storys so

2 millions a folk life is smashed cause of spoilt loony countrys folks runin da show ans populations so anal they a fart in straight lines

3 need money go suck his government males asses

4 get him job

5 chooose whateva fit ya toes

6 thankyou

-

ooh ans da 5000 miilion males on planet no see this a post ya left seat up again

 

[frankfrank]

Has he told you the biggest reason(s) that he wants to join? Some people join out of a feeling of honor and duty for their country; some other people join because of job security and lifetime benefits; other people join for their own single or combined reasons.

I would dare say that if anybody is considering joining the military because of the benefits, think twice. There are strong political factions in Washington which are trying very hard to remove some of these benefits, and there is no guarantee that the G. I. Loans program will continue, or there will be V. A. hospitals for medical care later in life, etc. Military retirement pensions may become means-tested or age-restricted in the future...

The political groups who think that most of the benefits for service people (present and past) are nothing but big fat socialism have been getting more and more of their own elected in Washington and elsewhere. Much of what is still assumed in the military, could be dismantled.

 

[fetaby]

I'd think the psych eval would weed him out if he does have some PTSD.

 

[StlKj]

The military seems like the last place anyone with PTSD should be going.

Tell him to at least get the opinion of a trained/accredited therapist before jumping into something like that.

Bingo.

I'm curious why you think him going in will mean you've lost a friend? Just because he joins doesn't mean you'd lose him, and your friendship to him while he's away could be a very important connection to him when he's lonely and missing home.

Especially if he does it and then regrets it.

 

[quasar]

Sorry if this sounds blunt, but there isn't a way to coat it in sugar. Quite simply, if he wants to join the army then it's HIS decision - not yours.

I was mortified when one of my friends announced he was joining the army, but he did it regardless of my views. BUT... he wrote or rang me virtually every week, always spent time with me when he was on leave - in fact those times, because they were short, were so precious and were so intense that our friendship was actually more solid and stronger than before. He did a tour in Northern Ireland during the troubles - not good for my nerves - but left the army shortly after. He's married with kids and in a different part of the country now - but we're still buddies.

Support him in what he wants to do, lest you run the risk of driving him away through lack of support. To be honest, with the medicals and tests that he has to go through, if they pick up on any sign of PTSD during training, then he won't make it into the army anyway.

And if that happens, he'll need the support of friends to help him pick up the pieces of his shattered dream.

 

[mbamike]

I served six years in the Navy. Best decision of my life! I wished I had stayed in. So, I think the military will be good for him.

 

[frankfrank]

^ As the old saying goes, "Your mileage may vary."

I think that I would have been psychologically shattered into tiny dysfunctional pieces if I had gone into the military. And, if I hadn't been born gay, it's almost certain I would have been forced in, because I was called in for my Draft physical in 1970 (my number was low enough). And we all know where most draftees were being sent in 1970, don't we? (So, it's possible that my physical body could have also been shattered into dysfunctional pieces of dead meat as well. Even most JUB'bers who were a generation from being born, yet, if living in the U. S., probably mostly know the answer to this.)

 

[JayHawk]

I would say let him decide to make his future what he wants it to be.

However, your concern seems valid.

If you wanna prevent him from joining without putting yourself in his path then push him to seek counseling for the wreck if he feels he has issues. The entrance screen will catch that counselling and they will further determine his Physical Qualification. But be warned counselors get paid to counsel so many are unlikely to find nothing wrong for them to counsel you about. If he goes and the counselor says he has an unresolved problem then your friend will never be in the military.

 

[honooryuu]

it is ultimately his decision, but if he does thing he has PTSD, the psych eval will catch it, and he wont qualify. also another thing to look at too is if the accident was bad enough and impaired his movement in his arms or legs that may disqualify him too.

if this is something he really wants to do though, support him in his decision. i have a brother who wants to go into the army and i support him 100 percent

 

[evanrick]

thanks for all your opinions. i think im gonna just keep my mouth shut and support him. i honestly believe that he is crying out about his accident. i know that without someone there for me in a life threatening situation i would collapse like a house of cards. i have a feeling hes the same way. if he doesnt get to join, he may become bitter or even more depressed than he is. if he does get to join i can only hope it will be a good experience for him.

i really want him to have all the support he needs, not sure if he will get it in the military.

 

[goldenmoth]

No because if he really wants to do it, as his friend, you should respect that.

One of my friends is in the military. I was scared at first but he's happy so I am too. We catch up whenever he comes down.