My life is about to change . . . big time

[Dominus]

I know how silly anxiety can seem, but like anything else, it is a real condition. You cant just 'get over it'. It is engrained in us as human beings, protecting us from dangers. Its that 'fight or flight response'.

I don't think anyone is telling you to just "get over it".

The thing is this. We all are fucked up one way or another. I am lactose intolerant. In the past, I have been diagnosed with type 2, autoimmunity disorder, leaky gut syndrome, etc. Psychologically, I have ASPD and a few other things. My boyfriend is fucked up in other ways. We just have to find a way to cope with these things and move on with our lives. Make the best with the cards we are given.

I'm not sure what I'm saying here makes any difference. You said you wanted to find a job, then you turned down every job offer they gave you. I'm sure you have an excuse for every single one.

One of my mentors in the past told me this. He said my biggest weakness is I have an excuse for everything. I was in my 20s and this struck me particularly hard. My mentor taught me that I did not have a monopoly on things going wrong in my life. Everybody has something to deal with. Just get over it already and move on.

After I started refusing give an excuse at all for anything, my life improved tremendously.

I'm not saying your anxiety isn't real. I'm suggesting that you have decided at some point to use it to excuse yourself from making any real effort to improve your life. Tell me I'm wrong.

I fully realize I'm not the first to point this out to you. Probably won't be the last. And chances are, you will acknowledge what I'm saying and then continue doing what you've been doing. So, I'm not really sure why I'm even pointing it out.

Perhaps someone else wiser than me can help you in a real meaningful way?

 

[m1thousand]

I'm not sure what I'm saying here makes any difference. You said you wanted to find a job, then you turned down every job offer they gave you. I'm sure you have an excuse for every single one.

Hold on. I turned down one job. Do not say I turned down many jobs. I didnt.

 

[unloadonme]

Thank you

I had the following call and the reason I turned them down

Garibaldi Glass (hot envoirnment)
Purdys (wage too low, $16)
Can Am Chains (heavy weight, 50 lbs)
Euro Rite cabinets (low wage)Eagle Ridge Chevron (need driver's license)
Urban Axe (low wage)
Beaver (I forget the name) (too far, I dont want to live in that area)
Ev Logistics (too far away, I dont want to live in that area)
K Bro Linen (low wage)
Lodge Steakhouse (I dont want to live in that area)
Blacksmith Bakery (I dont want to live in that area)
Montanas BBQ & Grill (I dont want to live in that area)


. . . yes, I shouldnt have applied then. I recently decided that I didnt want to live in that area (Langley, B.C.)

I had a restaurant interview today. He said it was busy so I think I will focus on production type jobs instead of a line cook

It's more than one Mark. There are 11 in the post above, plus the sausage making and lighting packing jobs.

 

[rareboy]

There are meds for anxiety.

But you seem to be also determined to undermine any therapeutic help you are getting whether it is meds or counselling.

It almost seems that you are looking to be in crisis so that someone might turn up with the magic bullet.

It isn't going to happen. Searching for work makes you anxious. Working makes you anxious.

Just bickle the fuck down, recognize that you are going to need to work with your care provider and social services to find housing and supports or you will be homeless in February and still without work. Invest the time. Enlist your sister. Get on with it.

 

[m1thousand]

It's more than one Mark. There are 11 in the post above, plus the sausage making and lighting packing jobs.

Oh, ok. I did turn down those jobs. I thought he meant jobs that were about to happen.

 

[Dominus]

Hold on. I turned down one job. Do not say I turned down many jobs. I didnt.

About a dozen in this thread alone. God knows how many more over the years?

You seem to be stuck at the "I need to find a job... searching for a job now" stage but never intend on moving beyond this stage.

I don't claim to know you. But in the past I have taken in homeless young men before. No, I never touched any of them. I have personally witnessed how damaging self-sabotaging can do to a person.

Just please consider my words carefully. Trust me, I don't gain anything by making you feel bad. As you have admitted, being poor sucks. I've been there. Being held back by your own psychological problems sucks. I've also been there. Others are urging you to seek help. I am urging you to help yourself.

When I was younger and having no direction in life, I fantasized about prince charming coming to wisp me away and make my life all better. I even started to write a fantasy novel about this fantasy. You know what, prince charming never came to make everything better for me. I had to face the world on my own. I had to face my demons. I had to help myself make things better for myself.

I sincerely hope that you will eventually realize and accept that there is no prince charming or silver bullet to make everything better for you. You need to help yourself. You need to grab the opportunities as they present themselves.

 

[m1thousand]

I found a place.
Im signing the lease today. My sister is helping with rent, until I get a job, because she didnt want me to be homeless.
I can move in today but I have to pack everything.
There is a video but it says the exact address so I know that wasnt ok to post.

 

[Peloso]

I found a place.
Im signing the lease today. My sister is helping with rent, until I get a job, because she didnt want me to be homeless.
I can move in today but I have to pack everything.
There is a video but it says the exact address so I know that wasnt ok to post.

Looks nice. Does kitty approve?

 

[m1thousand]

Looks nice. Does kitty approve?

Where I currently live, he could escape outside. But at the apartment, he would just escape to the hallway. I plan to play fetch in the hallway

 

[unloadonme]

Looks good. I hope you'll be happy there.

 

[rareboy]

I found a place.
Im signing the lease today. My sister is helping with rent, until I get a job, because she didnt want me to be homeless.
I can move in today but I have to pack everything.
There is a video but it says the exact address so I know that wasnt ok to post.

Thank God.

Your sister is a saint. I hope you appreciate this.

Can you get housing assistance?

 

[m1thousand]

I have the keys and signed the lease. I booked movers for Monday at noon.

The place is huge!!! I could fit a grand piano in there and have room to spare.

The condition . . . it looks like it was just built. There is one mark on the floor you cant really see. The cupboards are pristine.

There is a great cubby hole in the bathroom for the litter box. The patio is 25' square (im guessing)

Im very happy and yes, thank God, and thank my sister for helping me.

an you get housing assistance?

Don't you have to move into a building they approved. Im not sure what housing assistance you mean

 

[m1thousand]

Here is video BUT it is really bad filming. I should have been more careful. Im going to re-shoot. You can see the pristine condition it is in. I got VERY lucky.

apartment 2.mp4

Shared with Dropbox

www.dropbox.com

 

[Thad1527]

Best wishes! I feel like I should get a housewarming gift.

Having a home takes care of one big anxiety.

 

[Rickrock]

It looks good.

 

[m1thousand]

It looks good.

Its awesome ! ! !

 

[m1thousand]

Here is a BETTER video.

m

m is a member of Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who love them.

vimeo.com

 

[Dominus]

Thank God.

Your sister is a saint. I hope you appreciate this.

Can you get housing assistance?

I don't know how it works in Canadia, but down here all forms of housing assistance take years on the waiting list.

There's section 8 voucher program, which takes literally years to wait for. You can find videos on youtube of crowds of people running and climbing on top of each other to try to get an application so they can get on the waiting list. Every person I have encountered who have been approved told me they were on the waiting list for 4-6 years. And once they got approved, they have a lot of trouble finding a landlord that accepts section 8 vouchers. Why? Because the program makes landlords jump through hoops.

There's also the housing project. Again, the problem is the long wait lists. People wait for years and years on their wait lists.

There are other various forms of housing assistance. They don't make it easy. For example, one time I had a tenant who fell on hard times so she applied to one of these assistances. Would have paid her rent for a year. But the catch was the landlord had to fill part of the application. I said sure I'll fill it out. Took me 4 hours to fill out. After we turned it in, they put us on permanent "pending" status. I finally heard something back over a year later, long after the tenant had moved out.

And that was the time when I actually heard something back. Over the years, I have filled out applications for various housing assistance programs for tenants, and most of the time we never heard anything back from them. They didn't even bother to tell us to go to hell. Just silence.

I have even tried arbitrage and housing assistance through the court system. Had an eviction hearing. Judge offered arbitrage program with emergency housing assistance. I entertained the idea until I heard the part where the waiting period is 6-8 months and I have to sign a document that says they can stay for at least another year no matter what happens. Remember, this was a court sponsored emergency application for housing assistance. And this was already 5 months or so with no rent payment while we waited to get word back from a housing assistance application we submitted. I can't imagine any landlord agreeing to these ridiculous terms.

Just to be clear, I live in a red state, so I'm sure what I have experienced doesn't reflect the rest of the country. Just sayin' don't count on housing assistance. Extremely unreliable.

 

[rareboy]

Best wishes! I feel like I should get a housewarming gift.

Having a home takes care of one big anxiety.

This exactly.

 

[Vannie]

I'm sending stuffed cabbages.