My life is literally like a soap opera!

[absolutvodka83]

Well I'll try to summarise this... You guys know how hard is to find a decent guy for a serious relationship, well I have and we've been together for 6 months now... So well, everything ok till that... we had decided to move together to London Uk, He's German and I'm Italo-Australian...the plan was that I would move in November and that I would look for a Room for me in the meantime and that later on he'd join me and we would look for some studio flat for both... All this depending on some money I have to get from a grant, money that I havent received yet... So well, bc of that and some family issues I couldnt move till the second week of December, but my bf had already bought a ticket to go to london from the 28th till Jan 8th along with a friend eventho he knew i didnt have a place yet...firstly I was staying with a friend but obviously I couldn't stay there for a long time but a relative told me tht she was gng on holidays for 6 weeks after an operation she had and that I could use her room for free those 6 weeks and we arranged a date so I could pick up the key... so she asked the flatmates by email and all of them agreed but one... And I tried to talk to this person in order to explain her my situation and tht I was having job interviews and so on... But nothing, she even said tht she didn't want me there and that if I showed up she'd call the landlady and the police straightaway... And I ended up like a homeless, I told my bf and he helped me calling some mutual friend we have in Birmingham and this friend told me I could stay with him for a few days... and well... After one night sleeping in the street with -5 degrees I left on a *coach to Birmingham... been 2 days here now and since I arrived I have been sending Cvs so I can get a part-time job and save some money while I wait for my grant money which will arrive around the second week of January...my bf and the friend are still kinda mad at me bc I couldn't host them in London and they have decided not to come... and my bf has added that by the end of Jan I should have a job and an apartment in London otherwise he'll look for one for himself, bc yet again and knowing that I don't have a place he already booked another ticket for Feb 1st... This is putting me is so much stress lately and ok I took the responsibility but I think it's so unfair just to judge and say what he wants rather than giving me more support now that I really need it, bc in my opinion its so easy to leave one doing everything and then moving ( without a job) to London and find everything done... So what do u guys think about this???? XxxX

 

[Lefty]

he is an arrogant selfish bastard and unless you get off on being

treated as second rate common trash as well as disposable at a

moments notice or a lackey and a serf. Dip, dunk and flush this

piece of shit away.

Not one word of understanding, not one word of assistance just demands.

Reminds me of another guy from Germany and history.

 

[KaraBulut]

The bottom line here is that you've been depending on other people.

Don't do that anymore.

Find a job. Find a place to live. Get rid of all these flaky people who make promises and don't live up to them. And get rid of people that you can't depend on- if that includes your boyfriend, then that may solve another problem.

 

[absolutvodka83]

I'm doing all my best to find a job and a place to live, ok I shouldn't have depended on anyone, but when you're trying to start in a new place and you're not rich ( wich is my case) you tend to depend on people somehow... Yet again I don't like depending on anyone but it was the only thing I could do...I'm doing all the effort and I hope he appreciates this when things get better...this year I didnt celebrate Xmas... I didnt have neither any birthday wishes nor calls from my family... It was just awful...

 

[absolutvodka83]

I think You guys Are right! I Will Go back home and finish with all this, i might be in love with this guy buy he is not showing me any kind of support... So i think the best thing would be tht... It really hurts but it's probably the best i could do!

 

[KaraBulut]

I'm doing all my best to find a job and a place to live, ok I shouldn't have depended on anyone, but when you're trying to start in a new place and you're not rich ( wich is my case) you tend to depend on people somehow...

You're young. And being young means taking chances. But being young also means learning lessons and there were some lessons here that you don't want to repeat.

Years from now, you're going to look back and think, "I can't believe that I did that- I was crazy!". It's part of being young but you don't want to repeat this situation of being broke, homeless and with no job.

A dependable boyfriend would have gone with you and helped you find a place for the two of you. He would have saved some money for a deposit. He would have made sure that you had a place to stay.

^^^There's probably a lesson there about how dependable your boyfriend is.

The next time that you do make a big change like this, make sure you've saved money for a deposit and for temporary lodging costs. Make sure you have a confirmed place to stay before you go- either a signed lease from a reputable landlord or an affordable extended stay rental. Don't depend upon the kindness of strangers and don't expect to couch surf for more than a week or two.

 

[Lefty]

AyVEEAyDe3:

You can't fully love someone else until you love yourself enough to put a value
on you and demand, yes demand, that others respect that value. If you do
all and live all for someone elses pleasure who is living for you.


I'm not saying to swing the pendulum as far the other way. Bot martyrs went
out in the early part of the bible. Its a tough world out there. Fascinating and
a challenge so if you want to do it in tandem, remember that bike makes it
necessary that one steer BUT both have to pedal.

Start fresh, plan, prepare, pack and perform. The partner will come you don't
need to drag that bag around. You are growing and that suit doesn't fit you anymore.
Okay, I'm starting to sound like a nanny here, so I will shut up. Kara nailed it up above
Good Luck and let us Know your Progress.

The tears but the LAUGHS too.

 

[rareboy]

I read this as the follies of youth.

Everyone is right.

Forget the 'bf'. He's even more immature and unprepared for this than you found yourself to be.

So. Take away the lessons you've learned and in the future, make sure you have plan A, plan B and a back-up plan for those.

Never, ever, count on magical money that should be coming in to make something happen. This is a bad habit to fall into and a bad and stressful way to live.

Oh. And don't fall in love with being a star in your own life movie. Some guys get addicted to the drama.

 

[Lefty]

^

Forget what? that the voice of experience shared something?

The boy is young, not stupid...thanks for helping him think.