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My life is now turned around

volumee

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Growing up my life had been really hard from people bullying me at school, weight issues, and self-hate, and family relationships. I can't believe I held it up for so long. My parents divorced when I was less than 2 years old. They had an on and off relationship in the house after divorce, they still hated each other but loved each other at the same time. They fought again, and finally seperated for good. My mom couple years found another man. A german lawyer, filthy rich, we we're as poor as living in a cheap apartment owned by the government. I was gr4 at the time. I remember going home hating him to death. When he got off work at 6, he'd come over to our place (he had his own place in a rich town) he spend the night at our place. I remembering, throwing our keys out the window, so he can catch them and enter the second floor of our apartment. Years went by, and I started accepting him more. He supported us. Braces, tutoring, school, fee's, bills... literally everything. I thought my mom had got with him because he's rich, gold digging his money. I didn't think much about that. My mom hardly bought anything expensive, though she now does have some Gucci, or LV those girly shit.

My braces ended up costing $10,000 because it took around 3 years. My "step dad" had offer to buy her a $80,000 dollar car. He bought us a home, we're currently living in. $400,000. She never asked for this. She lost her job, because the owner moved out, and closed down a shop. She worked as a low pay full time taylor. Anyways i'm rambling here. But my mom got all of her friends, to support my step dad with his new job as a city counsellor; asking for votes. He was a so called, honest and loyal man, my mom had told me. My mom wanted me to be just like him one day. Honestly high school years, I was extremely bright. But I wanted to be nothing academic, I wanted to be a singer, and they never supported that, because it wasn't a "real job". My step dad wanted me to be a well.. something professional along the lines. He had 4 children, all grown up in their early 20's. One of them, was just like him, more cautious and bright. He's a lawyer now as well. Another who I heard grew up as a dumb idiot, and never went to university, now works for the Parliment of Canada.

I don't even know how to word this. With my mom laying on my bed crying. I recently found out he's been cheating on my mom for approximently 1yr. She just found out today. Some old chinese lady, apprently older then my mom. Who's only 47. Apprently the two met at a bakery, or resturaunt or like hotel kind of things. Where the lady worked. Apprently she flirted with him, and draw'd him in, because she knew he was filthy rich. My mom first of all... had NO idea he was a lawyer, they were introduced through extremely close friends. The lady said they went on vacations together.. to America.. or Mexico, I can't remember, this wasn't told to me in English. My mom told me she found out from the lady, she had called in and told her all about it. She knew my step dad had been "married" to my mom. I put quotations around that because they technically aren't married. They just said they we're, he didnt want to tie the knot officially because he said he didnt want to pay for the ex wife if they ever divorced. I wonder why... He had confessed he had, had other dates before her. Which is completely normal. She totally understand, and so did I. I mean your divorced, have grown up kids, been lonely for a while, you want to start dating again.

Well most of you are wondering why the lady called in. She said, my step dad had left her because he believes my mom doesn't deserve this, and my mom is better than her. How much? I have no idea. It sucks because my mom is stuck with him. While hes on his break since it's winter. She cant go anywhere because in Canada, we're snowed in. 20 inches. It's really sad rather. She wants to kill her self, which I partially believe. That i'm the ONLY one filling her life. I use to think that when I was a little kid. I was the only love in her life. Until the man came in the picture, I thought I had lost the love.

I really don't know what to do. I didn't cry when she told me although I was extremly upset. I think that was because I didnt have words to explain it. I thought he was a honest guy as he demonstrated. She now relies on me to finish school, and support her. She has no money .. I saw her account. Her bank account is connected to mine. She only has $800 some odd dollars. She doesnt want to tell her family, or even close friends. Not even her parents or siblings. She feels they'll LAUGH at her. Oh geez. Is she that dumb to think that? I have no idea what to do. She claims she wants to kill herself, which I partially believe. She doesn't want to tell anyone. The only thing she said to me was... "I'm not longer going to trust him/ believe him" He came in saying.. Let me explain in a soft voice.

Forgot to mention. Apprently the lady faxed in "PICTURES" my mom said to our house. Which is owned by the city of where we live. They can trace calls as well. I don't know what kind of pictures are these. But im afraid to admit I think there.. you know.

No Idea what to do. I post here because I belive this is one of the most friendlist communities I know. I mean my mom can't really leave him. He's supporting us. She doesnt have a job. If she did leave him.. we're DEAD broke.

I guess she'll be more open to tell her that' im bisexual. I was planning to live a straight life, and have some gay hook ups. I'd feel extremley guilty now.

Share your thoughts, exp
i've been with Jub for about a year now. I had no desires to post until today. When someone important hit me
 
*** Omg.
How could I forget to mention. About half a year ago, I looked into my dad's suitecase, and I found Viagara, recently purchased from a pharmacy in downtown that I know of. Not personally.. but it's a famous drugstore, and I know it's location. I'd always peek at it, and see that couple of tablets are missing, or half of it is used. I also found two condoms in my parents drawer. It's been there for the past two years. Un-used. I think this is a sign they don't have sex anymore. I know they use to. My mom would always ALWAYS.. buy pregnency test tubes.. or whatever you call it.
Man.. my mom would always say how unrespecting my biological father is. And how he's so uncaring, and unkind.. All these negative words. And my step dad would say don't talk about him. It's only going to make it worse..

Man. I also found porn my step dad's computer, the city had given him. Which is normal. I understand, he's not getting action lately.. probably jerking it off. If I was a wife, i'd totally understand. But it was a bit gross, he went on it everyday, I checked his history, and shit.

I have no idea why he cheated on my mom. I never thought i'd say those words .. "cheated on my mom".
I mean.. honestly.. as a bisexual man. I do find her attractive, sexually. Though i'm not. I know many men, would die to have sex with her. Not being cocky or anything. But I just don't understand. I guess it's because she's not really into sex. What a horny bastard. I use to look through his emails, and i'd find nothing. Nothing important to this topic atleast.

He'd often come home late at night 10-11pm. His Lawyer job, which is daytime. Required 8am - 5 or 6 pm. Then he'd be off to his counsellor job. Unusual times. I suspected something. Even if I knew he cheated on my mom, I wouldn't know how to tell my mom, or if I was going to tell her at all. I hate this women to death. How could someone.. allow someone cheat on their own partner? and not feel guilty about it. I don't really appreaciate the call for my mom for some reason. Telling all the stories..

My mom said to me, theres no man on earth you could trust, and rely on with your entire life. I just want my mom to be happy. Unfortunately I don't think that's going to happen. I think she has a really big gaurd up right now. I don't think she'll let a man in her life like that ever again. She's been with my step dad for a really long time. Plus.. she's kind of too old.

I really don't know what to do. My mom cant afford school fee's for me. I'd hate to live with a man who cheated on my mom. Laugh and have dinners together, like nothing is wrong, and everything is perfectly fine. But he's the only way, I can grow up get a job successfully, to support my mom and leave. I don't even know if he's willing to pay. He still wants a relationship with my mom. But he doesn't know what she's going to do.. nor do I. She just wants to kill herself

Currently there in bed together in their room. In bed not meaning sex. -_-" But talking about things. I think my mom is going to pretend everything is fine, and nothing ever happened, and live life as she was going to. I think she's going to use him, so he can pay for my college funds. I don't know. I wouldn't mind it. He deserves it. All these years, we have not gold digged on him once. God, she didnt even asked for a house or a car. I didn't even use his money. I don't even ask for shit. He paied for my braces, my mom didn't think I needed them. I think he deserves it. Cheating on my mom, when we haven't done anything to him. I'm really glad I lived a poor life, growing up when I was little. It taught me a lesson, the value of a dollar, and not to spend. I'm going to spend his money real good now. After all, he said what could he do. Let me tell you.. money can't buy happiness. My mom doesn't even care for him no more and he has all the money in the world. But i'll admit.. he did have a positive impact on my life. But not anymore

I really want revenge. I'm going to live the expensive life now.

Currently listening to
Until U Love U && Watcha Think About That, by the Pussy Cat Dolls. Totally reflects what i'm thinking about right now for my mom. Both are slow songs :P for people that hate R&B. I know this is totally different from the usual PCD songs
 
Sounds like time for you and mom to talk to a family counselor. See if you can get step-dad to go along. Your post is so fragmented even after reading it twice I'm not sure I understand everything. If you want it to work, everyone must work together.
 
He left the Chinese woman because he felt guilty about cheating on your mom? Isn't that a good thing?

REVENGE? Isn't that a little extreme?

It's your mother's issue to deal with. And to give up a man who gave her all that because he had one (documented) fling?

I think that's a little bit of overreacting. Especially as she doesn't want sex anymore and they're not even married.
 
sThis is the life that your mother made for herself. Her choices. Her mistakes.

While you can be supportive of your mother, there's not much else that you can do.

You need to consider your own future so that you don't find yourself in similar circumstance some day.
 
I hope all works or resolves itself - that is a very tough situation, especially with someone you care for very much. I can only tell you to let your mother know how much she means to you and how much you love her - don't let her take the wrong way out.

And I have the music you're listening to :P try to stay positive, PCD has good music for that.
 
My advice is to be a rock for your mom right now. If you pick sides, you could end up on the wrong side. Your mom could reconcile and move on, or she could continue to hate him, but emotions take a while to set in. If you just listen to your mom, try to keep her in bounds (keeping her from doing anything crazy), and give this some time. Not sure how it's going to turn out, but find something to keep you grounded and centered emotionally to ride this out with her.

If the above is true, that he left the woman to get back with your mom, that's a redeeming quality and shouldn't be rejected. People aren't perfect, so while it seems like he put up with you being a bit of a monster as a teen, it may be time for you to pay him back with some patience and understanding. Not justifying, just giving you something to think about.

Good luck!
 
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