My manager called me a faggot today.

[USEDCAR]

I agree with NineOfClubs,Gay guys always call each other faggot when he calls you a faggot just call him one back.Just make a comment like us faggots are crazy or something.

But if it offends you just talk to him in private and see what happens.

I had one lady at my job was trying to spread gossip about me (asking people was i gay since i dint have a girlfriend and was i a virgin etc) i took her to private and told her i dint like what she was saying about me she apologize to me.

 

[Blueboy369]

If he says anything about you being gay again, say "the next time I go to the gay club, you wanna come with? You seem really interested." Or you can say "Sorry dude, you're not my type."

 

[Halifaxboy8]

Talk to his supervisor and tell the supervisor you are going to Human Resources to file a complaint and that you are contacting an attorney.

Lol, that's a rediculous escalation.

I think a lot of great advice has been given above, and also some not so good advice. Context of the comment is what you have to focus on, and how your personal filter and sensitivity received it.

I wouldn't put too much into the comment itself, but that's just me. If there was an obvious intent to make a slashing remark, if I felt that there was a vicious, mean intent there to make me feel "like a little faggot" then that would be another matter. If it were a pattern of behaviour, if his general attitude around gay people was disparaging, then that would also point to something else entirely.

It was a flippant remark, said in a light and (to him) humorous way. As was mentioned above, "faggot" could easily have been replaced with "moron" or any other name. "Faggot" got you riled up because you are already sensitive about your sexuality.

I hear "that's gay" thrown around all the time by straight and gay people alike. Does that mean I get all up in arms about it? Some people do, I just take it into context. If it offends me in the way they say it then I'll say something. I've also been fully out of the closet for quite some time though so I am secure in my sexuality, secure enough that hearing "gay" or "fag" doesn't phase me, but also secure enough that if its said in a truly offensive way that I will correct them or do something about it.

 

[lamb-on-easter]

okay so ive got a HUGE UPDATE

i had decided to let his remark slide. i didnt want to get up in his face either as he could fire me without cause since i am new and still under minnesota law...a temp.

but tonight things got much more insulting My manager told me that my voicemail greeting was gay. he said this loud and proud in front of 3 other team members.

one of the team members stood up for me and said "thats not nice to say. and why would you say something like that, for all we know, cody could actually be gay. but that doesnt matter, hes a good hard worker."

my manger replied with, "yeah he is a good worker. for a fag.

again, he does not know that i am gay and was only trying to insult me jokingly

The team member that stood up for me asked me if i wouldn't mind if she talked to our district manager about this. she said that his comments insulted her even though they were not directed at her. I said i would talk to her about this tomorrow. He has not place in being a manager. His comments are rude and completely illegal. I am still stunned that he said this thinking it was funny.

later on in the night he referred to many stupid things as gay. "you watch the office, that show is gay."
^^these are not as offensive but still uncalled for.

I have decided that i will talk to our district manager with my coworker. I would still like to hear from you guys what you would do. I'm deeply disappointed that HE is my BOSS.

 

[KaraBulut]

I have decided that i will talk to our district manager with my coworker. I would still like to hear from you guys what you would do. I'm deeply disappointed that HE is my BOSS.

The reality is that bosses are imperfect just like their employees. You'll find really good bosses that you love working with and working for. You'll also find bosses that are real assholes.

Your boss is an asshole.

But not every battle is worth fighting. You're new at this job and it's not exactly something that you're going to make a career of. Before you take this step, make sure you really are fighting for the right thing.

These things aren't easy and they're not a lot of fun. You may end up having to change jobs or change to a different store if you remain with KFC. Or you can end up costing this guy his job which has implications for him and his family (but honestly- a guy like this shouldn't be managing people for a living).

If you're doing this because this guy is an asshole and shouldn't be in management, then file the complaint, have your witnesses ready and be ready for the very real possibility that he will be fired.

If you're doing this because you want him to change his attitude, be prepared for the possibility that he will get reprimanded and he will take revenge on you and your coworkers.

 

[LiveForLove]

Report him.

 

[G-Lexington]

My main issue now isn't that he's an asshole - he is. It's that I'm reading about ANOTHER person sticking up for you. That's great, but there's somebody else that needs to be sticking up for you.

I don't know if you've noticed this, but right behind your dick is this sack. And inside that are two orbs. These are your balls. And you need to start using them. Maybe you've often been one to avoid conflict wherever possible. And that's fine as far as that goes. But when conflict keeps coming at you - as it does whenever you're at work with this guy - you need to get proactive about keeping the conflict from happening. And that means nipping it in the bud.

Let's get to some concrete examples.

>>>My manager told me that my voicemail greeting was gay. he said this loud and proud in front of 3 other team members.

"Yeah, my vociemail greeting is gay. Everything I do is gay. Why do you keep bringing that up?"

>>>"yeah he is a good worker. for a fag."

"Well, this good worker is thinking it might be time to file a complaint about his manager, because the manager apparently has some sort of fixation on his good worker's sexuality."

Don't lash out. You're on solid footing. Be firm and confident. Feel free to pull him aside and say "Seriously, enough with the gay talk, OK? It's over, it's tired, and I don't want to have to report you. But if you keep it up, I will." And if he does, do.

Lex

 

[Lefty]

That is past the jesting stage, joking together is one thing..dissing when

in a group and with a number of different remarks is overstepping bounds

regardless of the subject matter.

Time To Bell The Cat. I would take it up on a local basis with my 'supporter

along as back-up for what happened and support if needed for any adverse

(to you) reaction. Handle as local as possible...save the big guns (legal) in

case the skirmish turns to full fledged battle. (i.e. your job, cut

in hrs, etc.)

God but I hate when bird size poop turns to bull (supersize me) shit. But, you

did the reasonable, adult approach and 'homie' don't want it that way.

 

[Blueboy369]

Do not stand for it! This guy is a fucking asshole.

 

[Deandbn]

I have changed my take on this matter since the OP's last post. It seems that a few of these words pertain to your boss:-

coarse, rough, gross, (socially) awkward, crude, rude, clumsy, vulgar, rustic, barbaric, unseemly, ungainly, boorish, gawky, unrefined, loutish, graceless, uncultivated, uncivilized

a couple of synonyms for uncouth

So I would say that your boss is uncouth.

I would also say that your boss needs to be put back in his place fairly severely.

I also think that G-Lex has some pretty good ideas on what to say to him and how to deal with him.

So what you waiting for Mr Lamb - go have his balls for breakfast. Stomp on them real hard, like untill he squeals. So go do it - Yeah

 

[texan_slant]

OK. You definitely need to take this further, AND

you need to let your co-worker report your boss as well. This would help you a great deal when you need to back up your claim.

 

[Lube]

It's Minnesota. It's 2010. Your life is not in danger. He's not threatening you in any way.

Sure, he's a jerk, but his attempting to out you does not mean you are going to be beat up by coworkers; it does not mean the cops are going to haul you away for sodomy.

All it means is that he's going to continue to tease you until you reveal you're gay. What's stopping you? (I asked that question already)

Once you're out to him, he'll lose all his ammunition. He can't tease you anymore because everyone knows you're gay. So it becomes a nonissue.

"Your voicemail is so gay." "No shit, Sherlock, I'm gay. Can we move on?"

If it makes you feel any better, his obsession with your sexuality suggests he has some unresolved issues of his own.

Tell him you're gay and move on. If he's still an asshole after that, then report him.

 

[Lefty]

^

does the expression "Oh fuck...what a spoilsport" ring your bell

 

[lamb-on-easter]

my manager was "relocated" yesterday.

and from what i hear, that means he's been fired.

 

[G-Lexington]

Have some extra krispy to celebrate.

Lex