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My mate wants a bj

pasacon said:
My girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband is okay with it really means I'm cheating on my girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband with you, but what they don't know won't hurt them.

Unless it comes straight from the horse's mouth, don't trust what someone in a relationship says their significant other is okay with.
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The reason I'm pretty sure he's being honest is because when he originally brought this idea up months before, he quickly retracted it, saying he couldnt' because of his girlfriend. Now he is saying she's fine with it so he's up for it. I doubt he'd suddenly decide that he didn't care about his gf. And like I hinted at, his gf is pretty wild and i think claims to be bi herself. My mate said he's seen her kiss other girls before too!
 
Quality Street said:
The reason I'm pretty sure he's being honest is because when he originally brought this idea up months before, he quickly retracted it, saying he couldnt' because of his girlfriend. Now he is saying she's fine with it so he's up for it. I doubt he'd suddenly decide that he didn't care about his gf. And like I hinted at, his gf is pretty wild and i think claims to be bi herself. My mate said he's seen her kiss other girls before too!
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my thought is the first time he just got scared. i mean, he is in this new relationship with a girl but he is thinking of guys still. or maybe he was afraid of what she would think but after a little while of dating her and talking to her she might have convinced him its ok to be curious. hey, you know more than me about him.

any new word about it?
 
nope nothing new yet. we won't be on our holidays for about another week, and we agreed not to bring it up until the holidays. i just going to wait for the call and then trust my instincts on whether to go or turn him down. thanks for all the advice in the thread. ill update as soon a anything does/or doesn't happen.
 
Quality Street said:
nope nothing new yet. we won't be on our holidays for about another week, and we agreed not to bring it up until the holidays. i just going to wait for the call and then trust my instincts on whether to go or turn him down. thanks for all the advice in the thread. ill update as soon a anything does/or doesn't happen.
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ok, best of luck buddy. just remember think with your head, not your dick.
 
Tread lightly, my friend. Like I said before, It happened to me, but we DON'T speak about it. Like it never happened. It was all hot at the time, but honestly, I feel kinda used. We're still friends, but there's this feeling that the dynamic has changed. Like we're not allowed to talk about it, is the feeling I get when I'm around him. And he's married now, with kids..I almost regret having sex with him..almost..Good luck!!
 
i tend to agree with most people here - go and enjoy it but make sure it does not effect your long standing friendship
 
If you do hook up, it is going to light a fire either way - one it will burt bright and make you friendship even closer, or it will burn your friendship to the ground. Have never had a friend where when we took it one step further that it did not affect our friendship is some way.
 
I was in this situation many years ago. We desided to allow it to happen and very much enjoyed ourselves. That was 27 years ago and we have been together ever since.
 
I would say just do it.. because it sounds like you are both in a good place to not have it mean anything and could work. Not all sexual experiences lead to bad things happening between freinds. You already seem to have worked that out for yourself. Let us know everything when it happens.. lol
 
Well over a decade ago I fooled around with my Boss who I liked as a person & respected..I was around your age....I thought he was straight, he thought I was straight until we exchanged messages on a local Gay/Bi phone-line.

We didnt even recognize each other's voice over the phone..Even when we exchanged names it never dawned on us..One thing we NEVER discussed is what we did for a living & where we worked.....THAT alone would have stopped both of us in our tracks..

Fast forward.....We Fucked around whenever our schedules permitted..We didnt feel uncomfortable on the job because I was switched to another department...Plus we enjoyed the sex so there wasnt a reason to be uncomfortable...Neither one of us allowed "emotions' to get involve because we were not each others "Type" relationship-wise...Both of us getting our needs met behind closed doors is what made it work..


Long-term buds is another story...Like everyone said it could go either way...If you do it and it goes sour you will learn from it...
 
He messaged me again today asking if was still up for it. I said yeah. We clarified that he doesnt want to kiss or anything. Just exchange bjs. All sounds like just a standard bj with no strings attached etc.
 
life's too short. have fun and hope for the best. he sounds level headed and that he's thought it through. i doubt it'll get too weird. as long as you're not weirded out by it, he should be alright too. just don't treat him any different afterwards.
 
Only have a few more days till we're both back at uni. We agreed to let the other one know when either of our houses is free so we can go for it, but unfortunately that time hasn't come yet.

I actually bumped into him the other day walking somewhere, was the first time i'd seen him face to face in a while. He definitely seemed more attractive this time round :)
 
It's almost been a month since you two started this little itch that needs to be scratched. Please keep us posted on the final outcome.
 
Not going to happen this holiday :( He hadn't been on messenger last couple of days, (which annoyingly both included times when the house would've been free) but it turns out he's got some sort of tear in his thorax haha. He's pencilled in next holiday instead. In other news, for anyone who followed my 'Compilation of True Stories' in the story section, the guy who I visited from another uni has invited me and my mate back up to visit :)
 
I am not sure it is ever going to happen! I think its just on his wish list :-) Just keep hoping Let us know next holiday!
 
The White Stripe said:
If you're just horny it might work, but I wouldn't be able to do it. I believe sex to be a deep experience and I have always connected sex to love. I can't imagine having sex with someone who I didn't have a deep personal love for.

Thats just me...
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Wow

This is a refreshing viewpoint to read in here. ..| Seriously; I'm not taking the piss.

Can't say I agree with it in practice any longer, mind, but I did when I was much younger, like the age you are now. That's neither here nor there, since no guarantees you'll change your mind about it, but it is a lovely sentiment on your part.

-d-
 
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