JarodA
JUB Addict
OK, well this new guy started at my work a few weeks ago, and since then I've been falling for him just a little. Keep in mind, I'm not a flake with this type of thing. I've liked, I mean seriously liked few people in my life as yet (I didn't even feel this way about the first and so far only guy I've slept with, so it's not like I fall for someone every time etc.). TBH, this is definitely the most I've ever liked someone, by far.
OK, here's the deal. I suppose I should start with what I know about him. First, I'm 22, he's 17 (don't judge me OK? You can't help who you like and I don't make a habit of falling for high-schoolers, and he's really tall and mature for his age, absolutely gorgeous, tall as I mentioned. His legs are incredible, but anyway I'm not just physically attracted - there's all the things we have in common. We both play and loooove tennis, left-handed, both pretty shy (he's since loosened up a lot though now that he's used to the place). I've never felt more comfortable taking charge in a conversation with anyone (or at least that was true at the start) because I am so shy. I like so many things about him. He's just so nice and kind, basically everything I'd look for. I don't even want to just sleep with him either. Of course I do, but I'd want more than that.
OK from about the second week or so that I worked with him (I only work with him two times a week), he exhibited what I thought were 'signs'. I commented that I had to borrow a work uniform top, and that the only size to borrow was 'extra small'. He said 'it looks alright'. I realize that seems pretty mundane on it's own, but it was the way he said it - to put it simply, I'd imagine straight guys would say it, but rather blankly, but the way he said it I thought actually had a definite and distinctly complimentary tone (the exact same thing last week when I said I wanted a haircut).
The day after that, he accidentally (I think
) but noticeably brushed my ass with his hand as he walked by, but didn't apologize or even acknowledge that he did it. Most guys would - especially straight guys. Because let's face it, most straight guys would rather die than have another guy think they'd touch his ass on purpose .
It was really last week when things started to amp up. We work alone on Saturdays and last Saturday we were making conversation as we do, and I asked him a personal question about religious beliefs. He answered and didn't seem to mind too much but things went a bit quiet after that for a few minutes. I then offered to stay on the shop floor while he took a break, but then he said he wanted to go on break together. Like, no matter how stupid and awkward I was acting he still wanted to so I was like 'OK'. The next day, we were on break together again, sitting across from each other at a table in the staffroom. Our legs come into contact softly but noticeably, and he didn't move his leg away or show any sign that he was uncomfortable with this taking place. We just sat there for ages, our legs touching like it was the most normal thing ever. It was hot. Really hot. He didn't show any sign either way as to how he was feeling, 'cause he was sitting next to another guy, but again he also didn't move his leg away for ages, not until he was getting up from the table.
Later that night after that things are quiet. I thought he might've been feeling a little awkward but wasn't sure. Our eyes just straight-up locked at one point for a few seconds. Another 'would a straight guy mind that?' moment. Things stayed quiet, but then when he said goodbye we were alone (he leaves an hour before us on Sundays) and he was friendly, he smiled. No sign of awkwardness at all, which is so strange, 'cause some things that a straight guy would find awkward were definitely happening. I mean, wouldn't you think after an extended leg-touch followed by a few second stare a bit later have most straight guys running for the fucking hills trying to get away? I honestly feel stupid at my lack of poker-face. If this guy didn't know I was into him by that point...
That leads to tonight. We were alone for most of the shift again. No awkwardness, conversation was free. In fact he seemed even more comfortable with me than previous couple of weeks. We discussed schools and I said 'I don't think a same-sex school would've been good for me', sort of dropping a hint. He said 'why's that?' and I said 'never mind', but it wouldn't have been much of a leap to get what I meant I don't think. Then one of the biggest
moments yet happened.We decided to put away a trolley full of shit back onto the shelves, and he said 'we'll do it together' in a way that seemed flirtatious 
. As we were doing it he had a sort of grin on his face (the closest thing I'd describe it was 'the cat that got the cream') - anyway he was hot with that attitude, but that's beside the point 
. Honestly, at the time I thought there was a possibility that (combined with the stuff that had gone on before) he finally got the picture about me and was kinda giving me the green light to go further a little bit. That's what I thought anyway.
I was pretty silent for a while, my mouth was all dry. I was turned on, but also really scared how to play it. I thought I knew what I saw in terms of the signs ('we'll do it together'? Really?) but was still scared. I was questioning, my mind was racing. We went on break and had conversation with no awkwardness but he'd cooled off a bit (that's how I saw it at the time anyway). Then after break I said let's go do the next thing we had to. I touched his arm, and he didn't mind. A bit like the leg touching of last week - no sign of discomfort.
After a while I finally got up the courage to ask him something. I asked if he had a GF, and he said 'no, I'm too busy', but I asked if he would have one if he had the time, and he said he would. I was disappointed obviously, but clinging onto a little hope I realized with that question I hadn't covered the bi possibility. Then a little while later I told him I was gay (this took much courage and even a few attempts to start to say), and his reaction was so amazing, so cool about it. He just nodded, smiled and said 'cool' I think. And that concludes the story so far until I work with him tomorrow.
That leads my head saying to leave it alone, 'cause I gave him opportunity to indicate any like-mindedness and he didn't. But my heart also can't forget all the other things I've observed. I am so confused.
What do you guys think based on what I've written? Is he maybe gay but still dealing with it and not wanting to go there, hence the answer to the GF question (after all he is young)? Is he gay and knows I'm into him and is playing hard-to-get? Is he straight, knows I'm into him and is teasing? Or is he just straight and the coolest and most accepting straight guy I've ever met, completely unaware that his utterly chilled nature towards my awkwardness and our physical contact is causing me confusion?
Honestly, all of these I'm finding a possibility.
OK, here's the deal. I suppose I should start with what I know about him. First, I'm 22, he's 17 (don't judge me OK? You can't help who you like and I don't make a habit of falling for high-schoolers, and he's really tall and mature for his age, absolutely gorgeous, tall as I mentioned. His legs are incredible, but anyway I'm not just physically attracted - there's all the things we have in common. We both play and loooove tennis, left-handed, both pretty shy (he's since loosened up a lot though now that he's used to the place). I've never felt more comfortable taking charge in a conversation with anyone (or at least that was true at the start) because I am so shy. I like so many things about him. He's just so nice and kind, basically everything I'd look for. I don't even want to just sleep with him either. Of course I do, but I'd want more than that.
OK from about the second week or so that I worked with him (I only work with him two times a week), he exhibited what I thought were 'signs'. I commented that I had to borrow a work uniform top, and that the only size to borrow was 'extra small'. He said 'it looks alright'. I realize that seems pretty mundane on it's own, but it was the way he said it - to put it simply, I'd imagine straight guys would say it, but rather blankly, but the way he said it I thought actually had a definite and distinctly complimentary tone (the exact same thing last week when I said I wanted a haircut).
The day after that, he accidentally (I think
) but noticeably brushed my ass with his hand as he walked by, but didn't apologize or even acknowledge that he did it. Most guys would - especially straight guys. Because let's face it, most straight guys would rather die than have another guy think they'd touch his ass on purpose .It was really last week when things started to amp up. We work alone on Saturdays and last Saturday we were making conversation as we do, and I asked him a personal question about religious beliefs. He answered and didn't seem to mind too much but things went a bit quiet after that for a few minutes. I then offered to stay on the shop floor while he took a break, but then he said he wanted to go on break together. Like, no matter how stupid and awkward I was acting he still wanted to so I was like 'OK'. The next day, we were on break together again, sitting across from each other at a table in the staffroom. Our legs come into contact softly but noticeably, and he didn't move his leg away or show any sign that he was uncomfortable with this taking place. We just sat there for ages, our legs touching like it was the most normal thing ever
. It was hot. Really hot. He didn't show any sign either way as to how he was feeling, 'cause he was sitting next to another guy, but again he also didn't move his leg away for ages, not until he was getting up from the table.Later that night after that things are quiet. I thought he might've been feeling a little awkward but wasn't sure. Our eyes just straight-up locked at one point for a few seconds. Another 'would a straight guy mind that?' moment. Things stayed quiet, but then when he said goodbye we were alone (he leaves an hour before us on Sundays) and he was friendly, he smiled. No sign of awkwardness at all, which is so strange, 'cause some things that a straight guy would find awkward were definitely happening. I mean, wouldn't you think after an extended leg-touch followed by a few second stare a bit later have most straight guys running for the fucking hills trying to get away?
I honestly feel stupid at my lack of poker-face. If this guy didn't know I was into him by that point...That leads to tonight. We were alone for most of the shift again. No awkwardness, conversation was free. In fact he seemed even more comfortable with me than previous couple of weeks. We discussed schools and I said 'I don't think a same-sex school would've been good for me', sort of dropping a hint. He said 'why's that?' and I said 'never mind', but it wouldn't have been much of a leap to get what I meant I don't think. Then one of the biggest
moments yet happened.We decided to put away a trolley full of shit back onto the shelves, and he said 'we'll do it together' in a way that seemed flirtatious . As we were doing it he had a sort of grin on his face (the closest thing I'd describe it was 'the cat that got the cream') - anyway he was hot with that attitude, but that's beside the point . Honestly, at the time I thought there was a possibility that (combined with the stuff that had gone on before) he finally got the picture about me and was kinda giving me the green light to go further a little bit. That's what I thought anyway.I was pretty silent for a while, my mouth was all dry. I was turned on, but also really scared how to play it. I thought I knew what I saw in terms of the signs ('we'll do it together'? Really?) but was still scared. I was questioning, my mind was racing. We went on break and had conversation with no awkwardness but he'd cooled off a bit (that's how I saw it at the time anyway). Then after break I said let's go do the next thing we had to. I touched his arm, and he didn't mind. A bit like the leg touching of last week - no sign of discomfort.
After a while I finally got up the courage to ask him something. I asked if he had a GF, and he said 'no, I'm too busy', but I asked if he would have one if he had the time, and he said he would. I was disappointed obviously, but clinging onto a little hope I realized with that question I hadn't covered the bi possibility. Then a little while later I told him I was gay (this took much courage and even a few attempts to start to say), and his reaction was so amazing, so cool about it. He just nodded, smiled and said 'cool' I think. And that concludes the story so far until I work with him tomorrow.
That leads my head saying to leave it alone, 'cause I gave him opportunity to indicate any like-mindedness and he didn't. But my heart also can't forget all the other things I've observed. I am so confused.
What do you guys think based on what I've written? Is he maybe gay but still dealing with it and not wanting to go there, hence the answer to the GF question (after all he is young)? Is he gay and knows I'm into him and is playing hard-to-get? Is he straight, knows I'm into him and is teasing? Or is he just straight and the coolest and most accepting straight guy I've ever met, completely unaware that his utterly chilled nature towards my awkwardness and our physical contact is causing me confusion?
Honestly, all of these I'm finding a possibility.
.
...you need to up your game. INCREASE PHYSICAL CONTACT and see if he responds. Don't be a creep about it, but touch in an intentionally friendly way and see if it is reciprocated. Hang out OUTSIDE OF WORK. Touch his shoulders, friendly massage, hand on leg during convo, hand on small of back, etc. Since he knows your gay, this might actually let him know you are interested; his response should give you a clearer answer.
