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My new boyfriend's fem friends?

alli-berri

alli-berri

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I like my new bf a lot... a LOT. He's adorable, and dorky, and attractive, and kind, and funny... and unlike any of my usual friends. I've always socialized better with straight/straight-acting males over girls/fem-types. Well, all of his friends are more on the feminine side of gay culture (they do drag, etc), and I feel like a lost puppy trying to interact with them.

It surprised me how "on" I feel the need to be at all times when around them. With my other friends, awkward moments or responses are accepted and overlooked; not having something to say is considered "chill", or hardly noticed. With these guys, however, perfect socialization seems imperative.

Maybe someone has advice. Maybe I'm overreacting and these friends of his think nothing of my straight-actingness.

I really like this guy a lot, and I know it's important to him that I get along with his friends. And I kind of want to get along with his friends. They're really funny guys. I just don't have the social chops to keep up with them.

:help:?????
 
Be yourself.

Perhaps get to know better the one or two with whom you feeel most comfortable/connected with...

It comes with time spent with one another, though in my humble opinion, don't force it either. We naturally connect with people, or we don't, depending on lifestyle or interest.

All you have to do is have fun with them, get along when you're together, and chit-chat, and if that isn't enough, then so be it.
 
Be yourself. You can't control how other people perceive you, and trying to be something you are not is bound to cause problems down the road.
 
I'll echo the "be yourself crowd." Your boyfriend likes you just the way you are. Sure, it's going to be uncomfortable being new to the group, but you can relax. You've already been chosen. It's enough that you like his friends. That is what is noticeable. The rest will take care of itself. Good for you for going with the flow. Good luck with your relationship. It all sounds like fun.
 
Yeah, "straight acting" is drag. The only difference is the persona you're trying to project.

Maybe they think nothing of your "straight-actingness" because they recognize the drag when they see it.

You accept them, they'll most likely accept you, and if you make an honest effort, it's their problem if they don't.

Just remember, straight guys don't suck cock. You do. You can't act like a straight guy with a cock in your mouth.
 
do what I do. Just pretend to pay attention, smile a lot. You should be okay for a while.
 
Why don't you stop stereotyping these guys, and get to know them? It sounds as if you might be embarrassed being seen with these guys, or mortified, if you bumped into some of your friends when you're hanging out with them, no?

Stop worrying about the facade you think you're projecting being "str8", and learn to appreciate these guys for what they have to offer.
 
alli-berri said:
It surprised me how "on" I feel the need to be at all times when around them...

I really like this guy a lot, and I know it's important to him that I get along with his friends. And I kind of want to get along with his friends. They're really funny guys. I just don't have the social chops to keep up with them.
Click to expand...

Another vote for just being yourself.

When a new person enters your "straight-acting" group of friends, everyone probably sizes him up and tries to figure out who he is.

It's the same with this group of nelly-boys. You're in the gauntlet. They want to make sure that you're sincere and you're worthy of their friend. These boys can spot a fake.

You don't have to keep up with them. These guys like to push buttons and make people laugh. So, laugh. Have a good time. Don't act like a straight guy. Don't pick up their femme habits. Just relax and be yourself. When possible, talk with them individually. Be charming. You'll be fine.
 
Thanks for all the responses. :) So much of it seems obvious, but hearing you guys slap me in the face with it was reassuring.

After seeing them again today, I got a better sense of their personalities and ideals. I think there was a certain buzz in the air when I met his friends for the first time, as if I was a new, questionable member of the pack.

I guess the discomfort I felt a couple nights back wasn't because they are "fem-types" (yes, I admit that I was stereotyping a bit...), but because I was dating a friend they felt protective of.

They seem to be accepting me. Running into my other friends while with these guys is weird, I admit it. But not "mortifying" by any means. It forces me to balance my personality out in a way that's very unique.

Jiving with one group and another at the same time is very interesting.
 
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