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MY problem

FameMonster

FameMonster

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Hey guys,
So I have a problem. Since I've been 12 I've known that I was gay (I'm 18 now).
My parents have always said that they would be comfortable with me or my brother bringing home a guy.

But I was ashamed for myself, I had the problem, not my parents. I couldn't tell them or anyone that I was gay.
I told them in January, and two friends about a month ago. But I feel really awkward talking about it.
My group of best friends don't know it yet, but I can't imagine telling them "I am gay" it's just like I already feel awkward thinking about telling them. And they also said that they didn't mind if I was gay or something (there are some rumours going on me being gay). So why can't I just do it and tell them??

I feel really stupid because me being gay is obviously no problem, and there are a lot people out there who are having a harder time dealing with it, but I just can't come out to everyone. I'm like blocking myself, and I want to be confident, and I want a boyfriend, and I wanna be proud of who I am, I just don't know how to.

Sorry, don't really know where I'm going with this but still..
 
The problem isn't that anyone else has a problem accepting you being gay.

You have a problem accepting you being gay.

While it's good that you're telling people, you still have some work to do in accepting yourself.

Out of curiosity, do you have any openly gay friends?
 
I know that i need to accept myself more, but I don't know how I can get comfortable with just saying "I'm gay"

And no I don't have openly gay friends
 
It just seems that what you're telling your friends "I'm gay. I don't know what that means exactly or what it has to do with anything..."

I might be helpful to make some gay friends so that you can get an idea of what being gay means and how to live life as an openly gay man.

There was a time when gay men had two sets of friends - one set of mostly-straight friends where they were usually in the closet and another set of gay friends that they could be openly-gay with.

The point of coming out is to get rid of that double life so that you can have friends and family and just be yourself with all.

With that said, it's tough when you don't have a friends who are gay. Every friend brings something different to a friendship and having gay friends provides someone that you can talk to about things that can't necessarily to talk with your other friends. And it helps to have role models to help you find your own way to live "out" - whether that means being out/proud or just so-what-I'm-gay-yawn.
 
I never actually say "I'm gay."

I just act gay. I have a boyfriend and go to gay bars and events, have gay friends, talk about hot guys.

People figure it out pretty quickly.

Do you have a problem saying the words, or is it deeper than that?
 
I am just embarrassed talking about me being gay.
I'm planning to come out to one of my close friends tomorrow and I'd rather say I'm into boys then I'm gay.

I get really nervous while talking about it, I start blushing, stuttering, and I just wanna get it over with as soon as possible!
And I just want it not to be an issue for me, and just be proud of who I am
 
That's ok. My bf has never actually uttered those words.

Just talk about guys and they'll figure it out. It's usually easier to answer "yes" to "Are you gay?" than to actually blurt out "Im gay".

But then they may get the clue and not even ask. It really depends.
 
Hey, I went through a phase where I couldn't even write the word down, let alone apply it to myself. We are always our own worst enemies.

Now I'm a happy faggot living in the midst of redneck assholes. Strange how things work out.

SO, what to do. Well, I like the affirmation. I know it sounds cheesy, but I find it works.

tell yourself - out loud, that it's your life and your prerogative and fuck anyone who doesn't like that. keep doing that until you can get through it without flinching. Until you can shout it.

Repeat. Then repeat some more, get mad, get motivated, think about all the horrid closets gay guys have had to put up with, then refuse to let that happen to you. Tell yourself that there's no way YOU are going to be some second class, fearful, cringing, boy.

You deserve everything straight people get, doesn't it piss you off you don't get that automatically like they do? Doesn't it piss you off that they can't even see the things you're denied? Use that emotion. Then seize those prerogatives for yourself.

It's only yourself you have to convince. Fuck the rest of them.
 
Thanks so much for your reactions!:D definetely helps me!:D
 
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