On Topic Discussion My reaction may be out of place...

[Centipede]

Is it weird that I always have a bizarre reaction when we’re called an interracial couple?

I never considered us interracial, I think I might have problems with the term being removed from the book and used in real life. For the first time in years someone did just that and I wasn’t able to compose myself correctly while in the middle of conversation. It was more of a “LOLWAHT?!?!” but not enough words conveyed what I was really feeling because I sort of felt like the undertone behind it was negative, so my fiance took care of putting everything back in order.

I see why and understand it, the term itself and having it highlighted and brought to light just seems so prehistoric to me, and for nearly a micro-second it was like an asteroid grazing our atmosphere (planet earth being my asshole switch). So I don’t know why I have this reaction or why it bugs me, my understanding could be wrong so I’m asking for some clearance/help on this subject.

What should I do to correct this and what is a good response for when another person uses this term? I could do the smile and nod, but I’d rather have something more solid to put out.

 

[sixthson]

We used to get that. My husband is from Greece and I am American of Norwegian ancestry, so we look very different. We both found it funny, actually, when we heard it. When my family first met him, their response was "where is he from, he's not from around here". What hillbillies!

We were in our mid-twenties when we moved to our current home and as we got known around town, primarily at our favorite coffee shop, we were at first referred to as "the boys who live on the bluffs", then when they learned our names, Tomas was identified as "the Greek" to new people to tell us apart, apparently. I still refer to him as the Greek.

I wouldn't let it bother you. Have you experienced racism in your life that has made you sensitive to such a reference?

 

[aaggii]

Was it said in a meanful way? Because if so, you have the right to react however you want (up to a degree, of course, show your´re the bigger man), but if not, since you two ARE an interracial couple, if it upset you, it might have been because of some problems you have with yourself. Would you be upset if someone would say you´re gay?

 

[eastofeden]

Next time...just say WOW....most people don't "get" that he is from Pluto and I am from Uranus....but just an FYI...it is intergalactic
..

.

 

[rareboy]

There is only one race...the human race.

I can't imagine why anyone would even make the comment, but the US is so hyper fixated on race that I suppose some people see everything and everyone that way.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

If that is all the negativity you have experienced so far as an interracial couple, consider yourself blessed.

We weren't always so lucky.

 

[Taz]

Some people just think that way. Don't let it get into your head. Now that you've said this for the first time I've realised my relationship could be called interracial. I guess I always just thought of him as another person.

 

[Centipede]

We used to get that. My husband is from Greece and I am American of Norwegian ancestry, so we look very different. We both found it funny, actually, when we heard it. When my family first met him, their response was "where is he from, he's not from around here". What hillbillies!

We were in our mid-twenties when we moved to our current home and as we got known around town, primarily at our favorite coffee shop, we were at first referred to as "the boys who live on the bluffs", then when they learned our names, Tomas was identified as "the Greek" to new people to tell us apart, apparently. I still refer to him as the Greek.

I wouldn't let it bother you. Have you experienced racism in your life that has made you sensitive to such a reference?

Thank you for sharing your story, and to answer your question: yep. I'm first generation, so I spoke no English when I came to this country. I experienced racism from most of my grade school teachers and majority of the students, being in California I know that's hard to believe, but Yorba Linda in Orange County made me the token Mexican kid. When I finally learned English I had a pretty awesome accent, but due to the bullying I was able to build the best dialect coach in my head and 'till this day everybody assumes I don't speak Spanish (and that I come from a wealthy family).

What bothered me was the tone--I felt like he was trying to diminish something Josh and I had. Generally speaking, it bugged me because I didn't consent to loving someone on someone else's terms but here they are making it about their observations. My relationship is not a novelty, not his novelty. To me his comment evoked a novelty of our relationship, which no relationship should be considered.

I would prefer being called a happy couple.

 

[Centipede]

Was it said in a meanful way? Because if so, you have the right to react however you want (up to a degree, of course, show your´re the bigger man), but if not, since you two ARE an interracial couple, if it upset you, it might have been because of some problems you have with yourself. Would you be upset if someone would say you´re gay?

This person had shared some pretty heavy views on immigration laws, which made him a borderline racist. He had the entire room feeling uncomfortable. I didn't get upset, I got in a mode where I couldn't come up with the composure to hide the fact that I'd been effected by this guy's words, but most importantly to even express if I was upset or just surprised to hear what he'd said. Or maybe I'm just ridiculously sensitive?

Any racist/homophobic problems I attained from the wrong upbringing I've removed a long time ago, I'm at a good place. I was just a bit baffled, I guess. I don't feel like the term should ever be noted in public casual conversation anymore.

 

[Telstra]

According to the pic,
the skin tone are different for both.
One is more red/rough blondish northern European look and your skin is smooth darker like Mediterranean look.

 

[Kabluey]

Some people have an overwhelming urge to categorise.
They could just call you both hot. Goddamn!

As to what to say, you could point out there's no such term as an inter-sex couple, or inter-height, or inter-attractiveness couple.

 

[Telstra]

My first reaction to that pic was,
nice attractive couple from two separate ethnic background.
One is rednecky and the other is woggy ...

 

[rareboy]

This person had shared some pretty heavy views on immigration laws, which made him a borderline racist. He had the entire room feeling uncomfortable. I didn't get upset, I got in a mode where I couldn't come up with the composure to hide the fact that I'd been effected by this guy's words, but most importantly to even express if I was upset or just surprised to hear what he'd said. Or maybe I'm just ridiculously sensitive?

Any racist/homophobic problems I attained from the wrong upbringing I've removed a long time ago, I'm at a good place. I was just a bit baffled, I guess. I don't feel like the term should ever be noted in public casual conversation anymore.

The person sounds like a total asshole.

My first reaction to your pic was 'What a Beautiful couple'.

 

[dpnice]

Looking at you both the first thing that comes to mind is what an attractive couple you make. The race factor didn't even cross my mind. Unfortunately I don't think there is any way that you can avoid the occasional "interracial couple" comment; even those too polite to mention it may well be thinking it.

I suppose it all depends in the manner it is used and you will probably realise immediately if it is used in a critical or unpleasant way rather than just a natural observation. Your reaction should be based on this awareness.

 

[SaskGuy]

There just isn't an issue with interracial couples here, not amongst the people I know anyway. Here, they'd sooner have an issue with the fact that you're a gay couple.

 

[Telstra]

Maybe "interracial couple" sounds like black & white couple discrimination in the old days?
Thats why it has a negative "bizarre reaction" feeling in Centipede's mind.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

10000 millions apees humans alls a livins a ins dif centureess ans teacups
_so no sweat it unless a no back door_

tinku

 

[NotHardUp1]

I have always thought you made a beautiful couple.

The idea that someone made affront by highlighting an interracial condition seems borderline hostile, so I'd look again at the basis of that friendship.

If forced to interact in business or other organization, I'd be pretty cool about responding and take the opportunity to comment about how you two have enjoyed the intercultural aspects of your two backgrounds.

Diversity is a plus, and that applies to intimate friendships and love affairs as well as more casual connections.

On the off chance that no insult was intended, use the instance to air your own views, in a positive manner, about the mixing of people.

Whenever anyone here says anything anti-immigration I am quick to say how pleased I am and was that Latinos are retaking the Southwest, as it was theirs before we took it and began treating the inhabitants like they weren't Americans.

Thanks for sharing this thread, as it is very topical.

Beautiful pics.

 

[mikey3000]

I wouldn't have even noticed or cared. My first thought would've been "what a happy looking couple." My second thought would be, "which one is the catcher?"

 

[NotHardUp1]

The couple doesn't really come off as interracial or intercultural particularly when met in person. Although Centipede has a bit of a Mediterranean appearance, which is misleading, he basically appears as an American in a heterogeneous sort of way, and doesn't really stand out in any contrast with his fiance.

If there were some kind of racial divide that was glaring, like African American and Chinese, it might be natural for a caring friend to ask, "do you ever encounter any kind of friction from either Blacks or Chinese?" That would be little more than acknowledging an aspect of life that is likely encountered.

But in this case, there's really just not anything that would jump out to an onlooker as interracial, mostly because Centipede's appearance doesn't appear as any particular non-European race. How many guys would kill to have that mix of beautiful genes?