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My recent heartache

O

oasisdude

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Ok, I have a lot of stuff I need to unload, and being a stalker to this point, so to speak, on this website, i know I can do so here. I have been suffering from depression and loneliness for a long time now. Eventually, I'll write more of my story, but something happened this weekend that is driving me crazy.

My short background is that I came out over the past three years - I was military before and as such deeply closeted. Coming out at age 40 in a conservative town isn't easy. After coming to terms with myself and my sexuality, I had two relationships. The first was short-lived. He is married and just wanted a fuck-buddy in essence. My second, and last relationship, lasted about a year and a half. We had good sex, and other fun occasionally. But, I could not continue a relationship based on those limited parameters. He was a social activist, I am not. He is heavy into the arts, I am not. We had different music tastes. For the most part, our relationship was dinner, and sex. I tried, but could not build on that limited foundation, so we broke up.

Since then, I have met/dated several guys -- none that I am attracted too. I am not the type to go home with anyone -- and have not picked up, or have been picked up. None of the guys I dated ended up in the sack - they were just looking for a hook up. Last weekend at a bar I like to go to on the weekends, one really nice guy, albeit slightly drunk, kept hitting on me. We had a lot in common, and I was really attracted to him -- it has been a long time since I felt that way.

I went to his house afterwards and we slept together -- I could not stay the night, although I wanted to. It was nice just lying with him -- Even with my past boyfriends, I never felt so close to someone. He jotted down my email and promised to write. And of course he hasn't. I did not get his email or phone (my bad, I know).

I hope to see him again and hope to have a good relationship. I can't get him off my mind.

I'm not looking for advice, I just needed to talk to somebody. Anyway, thanks for listening.
 
So far so good, although why you didn't get any contact info on him is beyond me. At least you know where he lives. Swing by his house, drop a note on his door that says, "Had a great time last weekend. Would love to do it again soon", and leave your phone number.

If things don't work out, have you considered moving someplace a bit larger? A bit more liberal? You don't have to move to New York or anything, but if it's that confining, you might look into it.

Welcome to the posting side of JUB. :)

Lex
 
Yes, welcome to the posting side. The reasons why he hasn't written could be many...very busy, computer problems, he accidentally threw away your address, he doesn't want to, etc. etc.

I'm with Lex...I'd pop by with a cheery note of "hi" and leave your phone # or email address again. It can just say, "great meeting you--let's have dinner again soon" or something.

I hope he responds and something happens! Keep in touch and let us know.
 
Thanks guys,,,,

When we met, we went to his family's house where he was staying -- they were out of town and he was taking care of the place. We went to a "mother in law" type building on the property. It was about 3 am when I had to go (I have dogs that are not doing well and needed to take care of them, as I had not pre-planned to stay out) For the contact info, I really thought he'd write, and perhaps deep down, I did not write his info down for that same reason. Sad, I know. For the same reason, his family, I don't want to leave a note or show up in case they get home.

For moving, that is another issue. I have a well paying job that is not readily transferable. I live about 25 miles outside the Colorado Springs area (home of the evangelical christian movement -- home of the fallen Ted Haggard, etc.) I plan to move to the city next spring.

I plan to go by the bar where we met to hopefully meet him again. I don't want to sound pathetic, but, I felt something with this guy that I have not felt in a long time,
 
oasisdude said:
I plan to go by the bar where we met to hopefully meet him again. I don't want to sound pathetic, but, I felt something with this guy that I have not felt in a long time,
Click to expand...
That's a great idea. If something has prevented him from writing you, he might make an effort to go back there in hopes of running into you again.

And, no, you don't sound pathetic at all. I don't know anyone here who hasn't had that click-of-chemistry thump in the chest that makes finding this person crucial!

Good luck! ..|
 
Wow, Colorado Springs. Or, as we Denverites have started calling it, Christian Springs. :) Denver's only about 80 miles away, and there's tons of stuff to do here. I'll take you to a Mammoth game once the season starts. ..|

Lex
 
OK, I've lived somewhere in Colorado my whole life. Time for a little Colorado political humor to lighten the mood! :D

How do you get from Denver to Colorado Springs? Head south and turn right!

How do you get from Denver to Boulder? Head north and turn left!

Admittedly, nobody else in the whole world cares about those jokes, but I think they're funny. Ask me sometime about the "snow" in Aspen... ;)

Anyway -- what the good gargoyle says is true. Denver is a hop, skip and jump from The Vatican of Christian Fundamentalism (as the New York Times called Colorado Springs) -- I can make it from Focus on the Family's doorstep in Colorado Springs to Capitol Hill in Denver (the center of the gay district) in 45 minutes. I know lots of people who commute both ways. And, C. Springs isn't owned by the Evangelicals (although they'd like to think they own it) -- it's certainly not The Deep South.

Good luck on finding your heartthrob! ..|
 
hotdog1846 said:
Admittedly, nobody else in the whole world cares about those jokes, but I think they're funny. Ask me sometime about the "snow" in Aspen... ;) ..|
Click to expand...

Ok, I have to ask about the snow in Aspen, I have an idea, but.......

Thanks to all for the encouragement. I stopped by the bar tonight, but he wasn't there. I plan to do so tomorrow, Friday and Saturday. I don't know, it was just strange to me. Perhaps I was nothing more than a hook-up to him, or I misread everything. Damn, I can't stop wondering. Even if it was just a hookup, it would bring closure to me, although I hope not.

Anyway, about that snow in Aspen?
 
You know the guy's name, right? Maybe you can ask the bartender at the bar if he's a regular?

Oh, and people who go to Aspen for the snow aren't skiers, if you catch my "drift".

Lex
 
LOL, been to Vail, but not Aspen.

G-Lex, I know his first name, but he is not a regular. He grew up here and moved to another state, and is here for a few months - maybe more. I still haven't heard, and am hoping tomorrow night is a good one.
 
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