My Roomate

[german85us]

I have this roomate that i used to work with and ive known him for about 5 years now. He is quiet and very much so a homebody, doesnt like to drink (only on occasion) and plays videogames most of the time. He has a girlfriend he only sees once a week because of their work schedules. I know his gf very well because she also used to work at the same job. I develpoed a crush on him and im not sure on how/what i should do.
I have absolutely no reason to believe he would do anything with me but there are little things that keeps me curious. Whenever we see each other for the first time of the day we cant help to smile. we kinda try to keep ourselves from smiling and if we cant hide the smile we say a quick joke so we can use that as an excuse for smiling lol. We also talk alot more to each other than either of us do to our other roomate (who is 1000% straight.) We even do alot of subtle flirting with each other. we often call each other names and crack jokes on each other when we're in each others room. i find myself wearing shorts and no shirt all the time so i can see if i catch him looking or some sign to let me know.
A little part of me that thinks he thinks im on the "DL" but he's not the type to try to out someone. All three of us are black and that shit just dont fly in our community and it sure dont help that the other roomate is masculine to the core. Do you guys have any advice?

 

[evanrick]

i knew within 4 seconds that YES HES GAY. obviously, or maybe bi of couse.

 

[BlondeCanadian]

come out to him?

 

[gogol2009]

maybe you let him catch you masturbating to see what his reaction is... maybe you get a straight MMF threesome video and see where the convesation leads

 

[BJ-Downtown]

You two could just be really good friends. None of what he does necessarily means that he's attracted to you in any way, shape, or form. On top of that he has a girlfriend.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

I have this roomate that i used to work with and ive known him for about 5 years now. He is quiet and very much so a homebody, doesnt like to drink (only on occasion) and plays videogames most of the time. He has a girlfriend he only sees once a week because of their work schedules. I know his gf very well because she also used to work at the same job. I develpoed a crush on him and im not sure on how/what i should do.
I have absolutely no reason to believe he would do anything with me but there are little things that keeps me curious. Whenever we see each other for the first time of the day we cant help to smile. we kinda try to keep ourselves from smiling and if we cant hide the smile we say a quick joke so we can use that as an excuse for smiling lol. We also talk alot more to each other than either of us do to our other roomate (who is 1000% straight.) We even do alot of subtle flirting with each other. we often call each other names and crack jokes on each other when we're in each others room. i find myself wearing shorts and no shirt all the time so i can see if i catch him looking or some sign to let me know.
A little part of me that thinks he thinks im on the "DL" but he's not the type to try to out someone. All three of us are black and that shit just dont fly in our community and it sure dont help that the other roomate is masculine to the core. Do you guys have any advice?

Let me throw in a comment here...that gay shit don't fly in most other communities. Seriously, you cannot hold other people responsible for the fact that you do not want to disclose your feelings for other men. Some people will accept it, some will not.

As far as your friend is concerned, I have not seen any information that would express that he is gay. He plays videogames frequently? He is a gamer. He is quiet? He simply is not talkative; that does not mean he has something to hide, especially concerning sexuality. That is your projecting onto him. He does not like to drink? Maybe he is religious, he does not like the taste of it in general, or prefers to drink when he feels the need as opposed to drinking in excess.

I would say do nothing. There's no information, except for the subtle flirting, that indicates that he wants some dick. Even with the "flirting", he could be really comfortable with the friendship that you have.

 

[bluedragon4]

These threads about gays falling for their straight friends is getting so old. Don't you read the other threads on this? It never turns out to be anything good like you will end up with him or having sex with him. You are just asking for heartache. I was stupid enough to fall for a straight guy at 15 in high school. But I quickly realized their was no point. did my feelings stop? No. But I did go out and surround myself with gay men who ended up with crushes on me. Isn't that a better scenario?

 

[german85us]

thanks guys. yea i understand what you guys are saying. especially with him being a roomate its only going to end up in disaster. even though i hate stereotypes i just find it kind of odd that he is very quiet and doesnt like to go out. its not that common with young black adults. thats all i was gettin at. oh and one more thing. hes not very social so of course he would work out at home instead of going to the gym. i told him i was getting a membership and he told me i should just work out with him so i dont have to pay monthly to do the same exercises at home. i might be reading too much into it though.

 

[bluedragon4]

thanks guys. yea i understand what you guys are saying. especially with him being a roomate its only going to end up in disaster. even though i hate stereotypes i just find it kind of odd that he is very quiet and doesnt like to go out. its not that common with young black adults. thats all i was gettin at. oh and one more thing. hes not very social so of course he would work out at home instead of going to the gym. i told him i was getting a membership and he told me i should just work out with him so i dont have to pay monthly to do the same exercises at home. i might be reading too much into it though.

Yes, lol.*You are reading way 2 much into it. None of that equals anything but a friend. Have you ever had a friend b4? Being serious.

 

[texan_slant]

Seriously, yes, I've been there. You try to notice all of those subtleties about the other guy and you start to wonder;

It's also true - the other could be bi, gay, straight/curious, etc. and they could be also dropping subtle hints;

The other guy could also just be a really sweet friend, and a really great guy who is just being himself without the usual machismo.

It's also harmless to wonder/dream/fantasize, and you really don't know unless maybe you come out, and that barrier will be easier to overcome. None of what you have said is clear eveidence though of what his sexual orientation is.

I never assume that anyone is gay unless they're out. Not to mention, this guy has a girlfriend. Even so, keep it all in perspective, accept it for what it is, and appreciate the sweetness of the friendship.

 

[pixie77]

WE worked together he was 19 and i was 37. He was straight but I read every sign and wanted him be be gay..I was infatuated with him, he was handsome and oh so sexy. I wanted to make a move..but didn't.
Now I am 59 and he is 41. We are still friends he has 3 kids. He's a loverly guy but went stocky and lost his looks, it would have been a disaster to have wrongly assumed he just might be gay. Because he clearly wasn't.

 

[bluedragon4]

WE worked together he was 19 and i was 37. He was straight but I read every sign and wanted him be be gay..I was infatuated with him, he was handsome and oh so sexy. I wanted to make a move..but didn't.
Now I am 59 and he is 41. We are still friends he has 3 kids. He's a loverly guy but went stocky and lost his looks, it would have been a disaster to have wrongly assumed he just might be gay. Because he clearly wasn't.

19 and 37? Maybe this thread isn't for me. All this seems so off. I am 37 and a 19 year old is a kid to me. But I do tend to go for my own age. Maybe I am smart enough to know to stay away from drama. I don't get how people put themselves in these situations that can never turn out well. Falling for a straight man, seeing false signs that your roommate is gay, and such a huge age difference and you work together to top it off. And I love how you say he went stocky and lost his looks. I bet you didn't hold up so well yourself.

 

[orton86]

It's called a....friend.

 

[mike_n_herrin]

I'm going to have to agree with the others here. It sounds like he's just a good friend. as much as we want sometimes for it to be more some times a friend is just a friend.

 

[german85us]

UPDATE: nothing still hasnt happened because im such chickenshit BUT the flirting has hugely intensified. He says things like "i know thats what you want" after i say "fuck you" after he cracks a joke. Or since i always call him yellow because he light skinned, he always asks me do i want a banana. He always invites me to his room on his bed to watch whatever he watchin and even one time after we been out drinkin he told me to come in his room to watch a movie with him. it was 3 somethin in the morning and we were both drunk out our minds. i didnt make a move cuz i was too paranoid. i think i decided i wanna do something now tho. ill update next time were both drunk and alone...

 

[bayareayoungin]

He definitely sounds like he's into you. Good luck with that

 

[mblad99]

His "flirting" is unusual. Guys usually don't lay in bed together to watch TV. I would probably take him up on that offer. Lay down next to him but with just some basketball shorts on. Something loose fitting. Then try to get a noticable hard on and and see what he says. One of my friends broke the ice once by asking if I was ever appeoached by a gay guy. He related a story about a gay guy that approached him and that broke the ice between us. You need to let him know you are opened to the idea and let him bite, but realize he might not. Good luck, keep us posted.

 

[BIMICHAEL4FUN]

Maybe the next time you are both drunk and he suggests watching a movie on his bed, take him up on his offer. If it's common for you to wear only your underwear around the house, as many guys do (both straight and gay), strip down to your underwear (whatever you usually wear...you don't want him to think you are seducing him...although in a way, you might be). Tell him that all of the alcohol has made you horny and suggest a porn movie...

As you are watching the movie, pay attention to his reactions. Let yourself get a visible hard-on, let him see you rubbing your cock through your underwear, etc. Maybe he will do the same or maybe he will suggest that you jerk off together...

 

[german85us]

OK, so I took you guys' advice and told him (kinda). So we had a small party 2nights ago, about 15 people. Whenever we have people over he usually comes out and hang with us for a lil bit and then goes back to his room to play videogames and back and forth the whole night.
well when i was drunk, but still knowing what i was doing and didnt care, i texted him while i was out in the party and he was in his room. in a non aggressive way i told him i wanted to blow him. he replied "whoa calm down" and i said im not mad or angry, calm down? i got no reply so i sent another asking what is he thinking. he came from his room and up to me at the party and said "stop" and then hung out.
For the rest of the night whenever we made eye contact, id turn away and he noticed. At one point i caught him waving his hands at me to get me to look his way when no one was looking but i just ignored it. Eveyone ends up leaving and our 3rd roomate went to sleep in his room. Me and (lets jus say his name is Bob) went to our rooms and left our doors open, which the doors are closer to each other than the other roomate. our beds are positioned in both our rooms in a way that when were both in our beds we have a clear line of sight to the other person. I never understood why he left his door open. Maybe he wanted to finish the convo or something else but either way, my dumbass fell asleep and when i woke up in the middle of the night, his door was closed .
The next day, i ignored him the whole morning because i didnt know how he felt about what i said. i wanted him to come up to me and address it. i have to walk past his room to get to other parts of the house so you can understand how awkward that was. after awhile he called me into his room to show me something on the videogame to break the tension. for the rest of the day he went right back to the flirting that he always did! walking into my room and shaking his waterbottle near his groin like he jackin off and looking at me and smiling, walkin into my room and winking. at one point he walked into my room and said hey how you doing, we havent talked all day and rubbed my leg. i didnt know what to say so i stayed silent. we were home by ourselves all day but didnt really talk.
Later on, when i heard that he was in the shower i sent him some more texts because i wanted to explain myself, which he didnt let me do during the party. My messages said im sorry for jus droppin it on him like that and that i know i was drunk and that i meant it. I never did it before and that i never had a desire to do it to anyone (which is true). also that if he wanted we can forget any of this happened and we can still be good friends if he liked. He replied saying to just go to sleep and forget everything i said. i said that he cant really be all that surprised with all the flirting he does towards me. He said "stop being homo. we both know we arent gay and its just playing around. doesnt mean anything." Im thinking he said that so I can reply along the lines of "but i AM gay" but i said "I know we arent, which is why i dont know why i want to with you." He replied "calm down buddy." It was clear he didnt like talking about this because his replies where short worded and took several minutes like he was thinking of what to say. What i dont understand is if you are 100% straight, why would you still continue flirting after someone told you they wanted to blow you?? So i wrapped up the convo saying id like to still be cool with him and to not tell anyone, including his girl.
So its the next day and he's at work right now and im off so i wonder how its going to be with him around the house today. I absolutely WILL NOT bring this up to him ever again unless he brings it up because then it will look like im obsessed and by all means im far from it cuz he isnt that cute haha (im a personality type of guy). What i wanted to tell him but couldnt say is that i just want to do it ONE TIME (unless he ask for more) and that I am not trying to break him and his girl up. I actually think theyre a good couple. I really want to fuck the dog shit outta his bubble butt but i think when dealing with a straight guy you have to take baby steps and if head is as far as it will go then thats fine. Well anyways, ill keep you guys updated and id like your opinions on the whole situation...

 

[stevexxx]

OK, so I took you guys' advice and told him (kinda). So we had a small party 2nights ago, about 15 people. Whenever we have people over he usually comes out and hang with us for a lil bit and then goes back to his room to play videogames and back and forth the whole night.
well when i was drunk, but still knowing what i was doing and didnt care, i texted him while i was out in the party and he was in his room. in a non aggressive way i told him i wanted to blow him. he replied "whoa calm down" and i said im not mad or angry, calm down? i got no reply so i sent another asking what is he thinking. he came from his room and up to me at the party and said "stop" and then hung out.
For the rest of the night whenever we made eye contact, id turn away and he noticed. At one point i caught him waving his hands at me to get me to look his way when no one was looking but i just ignored it. Eveyone ends up leaving and our 3rd roomate went to sleep in his room. Me and (lets jus say his name is Bob) went to our rooms and left our doors open, which the doors are closer to each other than the other roomate. our beds are positioned in both our rooms in a way that when were both in our beds we have a clear line of sight to the other person. I never understood why he left his door open. Maybe he wanted to finish the convo or something else but either way, my dumbass fell asleep and when i woke up in the middle of the night, his door was closed .
The next day, i ignored him the whole morning because i didnt know how he felt about what i said. i wanted him to come up to me and address it. i have to walk past his room to get to other parts of the house so you can understand how awkward that was. after awhile he called me into his room to show me something on the videogame to break the tension. for the rest of the day he went right back to the flirting that he always did! walking into my room and shaking his waterbottle near his groin like he jackin off and looking at me and smiling, walkin into my room and winking. at one point he walked into my room and said hey how you doing, we havent talked all day and rubbed my leg. i didnt know what to say so i stayed silent. we were home by ourselves all day but didnt really talk.
Later on, when i heard that he was in the shower i sent him some more texts because i wanted to explain myself, which he didnt let me do during the party. My messages said im sorry for jus droppin it on him like that and that i know i was drunk and that i meant it. I never did it before and that i never had a desire to do it to anyone (which is true). also that if he wanted we can forget any of this happened and we can still be good friends if he liked. He replied saying to just go to sleep and forget everything i said. i said that he cant really be all that surprised with all the flirting he does towards me. He said "stop being homo. we both know we arent gay and its just playing around. doesnt mean anything." Im thinking he said that so I can reply along the lines of "but i AM gay" but i said "I know we arent, which is why i dont know why i want to with you." He replied "calm down buddy." It was clear he didnt like talking about this because his replies where short worded and took several minutes like he was thinking of what to say. What i dont understand is if you are 100% straight, why would you still continue flirting after someone told you they wanted to blow you?? So i wrapped up the convo saying id like to still be cool with him and to not tell anyone, including his girl.
So its the next day and he's at work right now and im off so i wonder how its going to be with him around the house today. I absolutely WILL NOT bring this up to him ever again unless he brings it up because then it will look like im obsessed and by all means im far from it cuz he isnt that cute haha (im a personality type of guy). What i wanted to tell him but couldnt say is that i just want to do it ONE TIME (unless he ask for more) and that I am not trying to break him and his girl up. I actually think theyre a good couple. I really want to fuck the dog shit outta his bubble butt but i think when dealing with a straight guy you have to take baby steps and if head is as far as it will go then thats fine. Well anyways, ill keep you guys updated and id like your opinions on the whole situation...

leave it alone. get the key, lock the door, and throw away the key into a pit of lava