My Roommate

[nightonthesun]

I'm a college Freshmen, and my roommate came out to me this weekend. He's known I'm gay since a week after move-in day, but he told me that he's been unsure about his sexuality for a long time and wanted to talk to me about it.

The problem is that I've had a crush on this guy since I met him in April. I've always thought it was unrealistic because I thought he was straight, but now that he's come out, I'm not sure what I should do about it.

He did say that he wants to make out with a guy to see if he likes it, but I'm not sure how he would respond to me kissing him. He's a little hard to read sometimes.

Advice?

 

[AstareGod]

Interesting situation. There does seem to be a mutual trust going on between you two, since you came out to him first. It would make sense that he would open up about his own sexuality to you if he didn't feel threatened. It seems that you two have formed a great basis for a trusting friendship.

Now, with that being said, there are people that will say doing anything beyond friendship (and I would place "making out" in the "beyond" category) has the potential to screw up that trust. If one of you develops real feelings or expectations, but the other does not, it can really screw up a good friendship. However, if both of you have mutual feelings for each other, things can work out beautifully.

I think the most important thing is to keep communication very open. Share your thoughts and feelings with one another. There should be no surprises ... at least no bad surprises. You say he's hard to read. Instead of trying to analyze and interpret, just flat out ask him what he's thinking or feeling.

You said you're a Freshmen in college, so I'm assuming you're pretty young (18-19). That was me six years ago. I had four pretty casual relationships my Freshmen year - none of them ever serious. It was a time for experimenting, and no relationship during that time would have ever survived. Six years and three more boyfriends later, I'm still figuring this whole relationship thing out. I don't think it's meant to be figured out this early in life, so just take pleasure in the fact that you're young, youthful, and have your entire life ahead of you, and don't take things too seriously this early on.

 

[racer2438]

Well a good point is he is confortable enough to tell you,
I'd suggest just talk and see what his expectations are, what he has done if any, what he wants to try, what type of guy's he might like, would he be open to to doing stuff w/you even if it just starts as j/o.

but don't get to attached as he may fall back on guilty felings and wig out about and make things uncomfortable between you 2.

So pick at his brain and find out what he wants (see above) and go from there.

 

[BlondeCanadian]

I agree with what the other posters say.. But I would also add that you can sort of hint that your attracted to him in conversations sort of like flirting.. Like if he says he wants to make out with a guy say something like you shouldnt have a problem finding aguy to make out with you because you are a very good lookig guy or somethin

 

[Seasoned]

I don't have any more to add but I want to welcome you and wish you well.

 

[AstareGod]

Oh yeah, duh, how did I not notice this was your first post nightofthesun! Welcome to JUB!

 

[KaraBulut]

Be his friend. That's what he really needs right now. And nothing more.

 

[Cocodeville]

I agree - he may just need help and advice, not a proposal.

 

[Just_Believe18]

It sounds like the door isn't open, nor is it closed and locked shut. This guy sounds like he's at the very beginning of recognizing his feelings. He might not even comprehend the idea yet that he could be with you. It's best to let him work this out on his own and just be there as support and advice.

If you push anything, it might scare him.

 

[terry61_99]

Please keep us posted!

 

[boredass123]

Just because he's gay doesn't mean he's interested in you.

With that being said, nothing is known yet so you can hit on him the way you hit on other gay guys.