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Just a 3 a.m. fantasy of mine from when I was that age. Part 2 coming soon!
Jacob had invited his two friends, Max and Corina over to his house after school since they were off the next day. They sat in his room letting music play as they talked.
"Wait so let me get this straight, your sister’s boyfriend was sneaking around with you while he was here?" Corina asked taking a swig of her soda.
"Yup. Still does, whenever he comes over, he likes to sneak in little touches or quick make out sessions." Jacob answered smiling.
"Dude, that's fuckin rowdy, how? When? Why?!" Max asked trying to comprehend what he just heard.
"Do you really want to know?" I asked him.
"Kind of, I mean that's just so out there man." Max said through a mouth full of chips.
"Okay well I'd have to start from the very beginning."
The first time we met was at my seventeenth birthday party two years ago, she invited him to it as a way to introduce him to our parents. Now at the time I didn't know if I was gay or not or even if I was, I didn't know if guys would like me. What I do remember was the way he looked at me when she introduced me to him. Back then he was into the whole fifties greaser look, he had slicked back brown hair and only ever wore tight denim pants with solid color t-shirts along with black leather boots.
He had a full beard which sealed the whole look together. My sister had already introduced him to our parents who for some reason fell over backwards for him. I think it was because he had been the first boyfriend she had that actually earned his own money. At twenty-five he had inherited his grandfather’s car detailing shop when he passed away and continued with the company's progress.
I think he had been expecting me to be running around at the party, but you know the jacuzzi shed we have in the back? Well, at the time we didn't have water in there, so I used it as my little getaway. I heard the door open to the shed and poked my head up to see who it was. Actually, that was the first day I rocked my half blond and half dark hair, which I still do as you can see.
"Jacob this whole party for you and you're in here doing what?" My sister asked walking in leading her new guy in by his hand. I held up the book I was reading at the time, I don’t even remember what book it was.
"I don’t like those kids’ mom and dad made me invite, they're dumb. They don’t even know who Anne Rice is!" I said tossing my book to the ground and hopped out of the tub. Yes, in case you two are wondering I still wore only black a year ago. I had on a plain black long-sleeved shirt but had the sleeves pushed up, fitted black canvas pants and converse shoes.
"Okay Jacob, you shouldn't expect everyone to know who Anne Rice is, you've been reading books since you were like five." I winced at her statement.
"You insult me sister. It was four. Who's Danny Zuko over here?" I asked looking up at the guy holding my sisters’ hand, and he’s freakin tall, 6'2 I think. He laughed at my comparison.
"Oh right, this is Mathis. Mathis this is my little brother, Tim freaking Burton but we call him Jacob for short." He held out his hand for me to shake.
"Nice to meet you, Jacob." When I took his hand, I noticed a familiar tattoo on his wrist. It was the Deathly Hallows symbol. I turned his hand over and ran a finger over the lines and circle that made up the design.
I looked up and he had a weird look on his face, like when you’re on a rollercoaster and you're waiting for it to take off. That's when I noticed he had taken a grip on my wrist.
"Give him his hand back, weirdo." My sister said breaking our embrace.
"It’s okay, Luce. You like Harry Potter?" He asked me.
"Uhh yeah! What house are you."
He pulls out his wallet that had a chain connected to his belt loop and on the front had the Slytherin emblem.
"A fellow housemate." I said pulling the necklace from under my shirt that had the same emblem.
"Nice! Ha-ha." He high fives me like we've been friends forever. That's when I saw his smile. Damn that smile. It literally made his face shine like daybreak.
"Okay the geekery is getting into the high numbers, come on I'm hungry." My sister said pulling his other arm to follow behind her. What she didn't see was that he left his hand on mine until she pulled him too far and before he turned passed the shed he looked at me and smiled again.
The rest of the party went on as usual, I had gotten back into the jacuzzi and the adults got drunk forgetting to sing me Happy Birthday, again. No doubt there was a chocolate cake just sitting in the fridge that would get thrown out tomorrow. I guess I had fallen asleep inside the tub because I got woken up by someone opening the door to the shed, the drunken noise of my uncles and aunts flooding in for a few seconds. I heard awkward shuffling around and glass, I think.
"Okay...light switch, light switch, aha!" He said flipping it and turning on the white globe lights that hung above. I knew exactly who's voice it was and for some reason I felt like a "yes! I get to talk to him again!" kinda feeling.
I popped my head up and he had a cake in his hands, my cake. With a big brown groceries bag, that had rattling glass bottles inside. I could even try to hide my smile.
"Is that my cake?" I asked Mathis trying not to sound excited. But then he smiled, and I was done with.
"Yeah it is, I was going to come see if you wanted to chill." He said lifting the brown bag. "So, I went to the fridge to get some brews and I saw it in there. Then it dawned on me that no one sang you Happy Birthday!" He saw the sad look take my face over. Then he got it.
"I take it this isn’t the first year that's happened." He put the cake on the edge of the tub that was flat and stepped inside. His boot grazed my leg and I swear I felt a jolt and I know he felt my leg twitch.
"You know my parents haven't told me happy birthday in nine years." I tried to make myself sad again so I could mask how almost happy that he was there with me.
"Hey." He said as my head started to dip from the thought of my parents. I looked up at him just as a tear, I didn't expect to fall, fell down my cheek. He squatted down and wiped the tear stream away. I flinched when his hand touched my skin. "Happy birthday Jacob, I'm sorry they do that to you." He smelled like wood shavings but like the cologne kind. I almost leaned in for a bigger whiff. I had to get us passed this moment, I didn't want to make it weird for him.
"Ah, it’s stupid, it’s just a few words." I said chuckling nervously. He watched me for a second as he was trying to figure something out. Then got up and sat on the edge of the tub pulling out two beers and popped them open, handing me one.
"I'm seventeen, dude." I said even though I had been drinking and smoking bud for two years.
"Yeah, well your own family made you cry on your birthday, so they owe you a few brews. Besides I can smell the bud in here like crazy, so let's not pretend you don’t drink." He said wiggling the brown bottle and raising his eyebrows.
"All right, all right you caught me. Do me a favor though where the switch is there’s keys there can you grab them I don’t want forget them. Then lock the door, they'll think I closed it up and went upstairs to bed." He went and locked the door, turning the lock on the doorknob, on his way back the cake almost slipped. Both of us lurched forward at it and neither of us noticed that he'd put the keys in his jacket pocket.
"It’s good." He said picking it up and popped off the lid and sat back down on the edge of the jacuzzi.
I said, " So, I lied to before, I actually saw the cake before and went to the store. Luce fell asleep so I went to the store down the street to get me some brews and I saw these and thought of you." From inside the bag he pulled out a Slytherin pen and bookmark set along with a weird black egg looking thing in a plastic package. He handed me the pen set but kept the egg thing.
"Open it." He said as he opened the plastic casing around the egg looking thing. I popped open the thin plastic container around the set and inside was a hundred-dollar bill. I literally had to try not cry again. Before I could say anything, I heard a lighter ignite. Looking up the black egg thing was sitting on the cake and he was lighting the tip of the top of it.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you," as Mathis sings the egg burns for a little bit and it bursts open and it's a black lotus looking candle with a flame on every tip. "Happy birthday dear Jacob, happy birthday to you." I couldn't tell you how long I sat there moving my eyes from that candle to him. It felt like five seconds and five years at the same time. "It says that you make your wish as the last flame goes." I still couldn't say anything. What were words even in that moment? Slowly the flames started to die and the last one was on his side of the candle. I don’t know what made me do it but I shot to his side and put my hand on his arm and leaned in front of him, made my wish then blew put the candle. What I didn't notice at first was my grip on his arm. It felt like I was saying thank you almost through that contact. He turned his head to look at me and what was I'm sure a few seconds passed like ten years of his eyes smiling at mine.
After that we made out completely inside the jacuzzi sitting on the bottom his feet next to me and my feet next to him. We had spent who knows how long drinking those beers and eating the cake.
"So, after high school what's the plan?" He said popping open one of the last few beers.
"Do we have to do that? I cannot tell you how many times I've answered that question in the past week."
"You have no idea, do you?" He asked.
"Is that a bad thing? It is right? I don’t know, I just have so much pressure on me." I said tapping off my beer.
"How so?" He asked handing me a other beer.
"Well, everyone sees me as the artistic guy and the smart guy, so they automatically expect me to just have answers and plans but in truth I'm just as lost as anyone else. Not to mention with Lucy going to medical school and doing well, everything I do is not on up to her level. When I finished my book, my parents didn't even want to read it. A book doesn't matter unless its published, they said." I took a long swig of the beer, which had gone kinda warm.
"Yeah, that sounds tough man, I mean I didn't really have to worry about that kind of stuff. My grandfather raised me in his shop so well he gave it to me. I never really thought about school or the pressures of it." We fell silent for a bit. He kept looking at me like if he wanted to say something but was afraid to say it.
"You can say it, whatever it is." I said.
"Okay, in a way they're kind of right." I shot a fake betrayal look at him.
"You've joined them! Traitor." I said with a smile drinking at my beer.
"Well I mean you obviously have brains in that two-toned head of yours and you obviously have the discipline to finish a book. Published or not that's not easy to do. So, in a way you have a path forming before you. I think your just scared of them being right because you're so used to being opposed to them." He said with a "I'm just saying" kind of look.
"Well, look at you figuring me out over here."
"It’s nice to have something to figure out, Luce tells me everything that runs through her mind and most of it is not very interesting. I care for her and all, but I just wish she would save some of her thoughts for me to figure out. I don’t know maybe that's not right." He said finishing his beer. Just as I finished the one he gave me.
"One left, we can share if you want." He said popping the cap. "So, how open are you to letting me read your book?" He said after taking a drink then passing it to me.
"Not very, sir." I said taking a drink. "It’s not very good." I handed the beer back to him.
"Has anyone ever even read it?"
"No." I answered taking the beer after his drink.
"Then how do you know it's not very good."
"Well I guess I don’t but come on man, you don’t want to read that stuff. It's all so depressing." I said before finishing off the last of the beer.
"What I find depressing is the fact that you have created something from nothing and it's just sitting in flash drive or drawer somewhere."
I smiled maybe too wide at him, at least wider than I should have.
"Okay, you can read it."
"That's fine, like the good ole days of reading." He laughed. "So, I don’t mean to get super personal but how are you on socializing with..." he trailed off.
"With guys?" I finished.
"Yeah, is there a guy?" He asked looking kinda drunk.
"No, there isn't. There's never been. Sad to say it but I've never been with anyone. I have been a solo act from day one. Except... naw never mind."
"What? There’s been at least one guy, come on spill." He said putting a hand on my knee, leaving it there. I swear I could feel him circling his thumb and it sent shivers all over.
"Well, a while back, I was in the locker room after everyone had left. The other guys weren't so keen on having me around when they changed. Anyway, I thought I was alone, so I started to sing a song that had been stuck in my head all day and from the showers Michel Duke came out in just a towel. He told me I sang well but being a social suicide kind of guy, I tried to leave before I did or said anything to bring on more stigma to myself. But before I could leave, he came around and took my arm and pushed me against the wall. He undid his towel and put my hand on it. He was already getting hard and he told me to jerk him off, so I did, and he just leaned his head on my shoulder while I worked him. Then he just shot against the wall and picked up his towel and said thanks. Not talking again as he dressed. I felt weird so I left. He never talked to me again after that." I finished and he looked at me strangely.
"I've never held anyone before or been held, had a new year’s kiss, had a Valentines before." I tried to hide the tear I felt coming but it fell before I could. He glanced at the door then back at me.
"Can you keep a secret?" He asked.
"Yeah, why?" He didn't answer me. Instead he got up and moved over to where I sat and placed himself next to me.
"What are you doing?" I asked getting very nervous.
"Shh. Just go with it before I change my mind." He said simply.
He sat and put his arm around me leaning me against his chest, the smell of his wood chip cologne invading my nose. I guess he could feel me go stiff, so he lifted my face to his.
"Relax. Take this as another birthday gift." He said. Listening I relaxed my body and laid my head on his firm chest again. After that I couldn't help it. I moved my whole body next to his and let my hand rest on his stomach. I don’t know how long it was but before I fell asleep but i can tell you, what a way to do so.
Jacob had invited his two friends, Max and Corina over to his house after school since they were off the next day. They sat in his room letting music play as they talked.
"Wait so let me get this straight, your sister’s boyfriend was sneaking around with you while he was here?" Corina asked taking a swig of her soda.
"Yup. Still does, whenever he comes over, he likes to sneak in little touches or quick make out sessions." Jacob answered smiling.
"Dude, that's fuckin rowdy, how? When? Why?!" Max asked trying to comprehend what he just heard.
"Do you really want to know?" I asked him.
"Kind of, I mean that's just so out there man." Max said through a mouth full of chips.
"Okay well I'd have to start from the very beginning."
The first time we met was at my seventeenth birthday party two years ago, she invited him to it as a way to introduce him to our parents. Now at the time I didn't know if I was gay or not or even if I was, I didn't know if guys would like me. What I do remember was the way he looked at me when she introduced me to him. Back then he was into the whole fifties greaser look, he had slicked back brown hair and only ever wore tight denim pants with solid color t-shirts along with black leather boots.
He had a full beard which sealed the whole look together. My sister had already introduced him to our parents who for some reason fell over backwards for him. I think it was because he had been the first boyfriend she had that actually earned his own money. At twenty-five he had inherited his grandfather’s car detailing shop when he passed away and continued with the company's progress.
I think he had been expecting me to be running around at the party, but you know the jacuzzi shed we have in the back? Well, at the time we didn't have water in there, so I used it as my little getaway. I heard the door open to the shed and poked my head up to see who it was. Actually, that was the first day I rocked my half blond and half dark hair, which I still do as you can see.
"Jacob this whole party for you and you're in here doing what?" My sister asked walking in leading her new guy in by his hand. I held up the book I was reading at the time, I don’t even remember what book it was.
"I don’t like those kids’ mom and dad made me invite, they're dumb. They don’t even know who Anne Rice is!" I said tossing my book to the ground and hopped out of the tub. Yes, in case you two are wondering I still wore only black a year ago. I had on a plain black long-sleeved shirt but had the sleeves pushed up, fitted black canvas pants and converse shoes.
"Okay Jacob, you shouldn't expect everyone to know who Anne Rice is, you've been reading books since you were like five." I winced at her statement.
"You insult me sister. It was four. Who's Danny Zuko over here?" I asked looking up at the guy holding my sisters’ hand, and he’s freakin tall, 6'2 I think. He laughed at my comparison.
"Oh right, this is Mathis. Mathis this is my little brother, Tim freaking Burton but we call him Jacob for short." He held out his hand for me to shake.
"Nice to meet you, Jacob." When I took his hand, I noticed a familiar tattoo on his wrist. It was the Deathly Hallows symbol. I turned his hand over and ran a finger over the lines and circle that made up the design.
I looked up and he had a weird look on his face, like when you’re on a rollercoaster and you're waiting for it to take off. That's when I noticed he had taken a grip on my wrist.
"Give him his hand back, weirdo." My sister said breaking our embrace.
"It’s okay, Luce. You like Harry Potter?" He asked me.
"Uhh yeah! What house are you."
He pulls out his wallet that had a chain connected to his belt loop and on the front had the Slytherin emblem.
"A fellow housemate." I said pulling the necklace from under my shirt that had the same emblem.
"Nice! Ha-ha." He high fives me like we've been friends forever. That's when I saw his smile. Damn that smile. It literally made his face shine like daybreak.
"Okay the geekery is getting into the high numbers, come on I'm hungry." My sister said pulling his other arm to follow behind her. What she didn't see was that he left his hand on mine until she pulled him too far and before he turned passed the shed he looked at me and smiled again.
The rest of the party went on as usual, I had gotten back into the jacuzzi and the adults got drunk forgetting to sing me Happy Birthday, again. No doubt there was a chocolate cake just sitting in the fridge that would get thrown out tomorrow. I guess I had fallen asleep inside the tub because I got woken up by someone opening the door to the shed, the drunken noise of my uncles and aunts flooding in for a few seconds. I heard awkward shuffling around and glass, I think.
"Okay...light switch, light switch, aha!" He said flipping it and turning on the white globe lights that hung above. I knew exactly who's voice it was and for some reason I felt like a "yes! I get to talk to him again!" kinda feeling.
I popped my head up and he had a cake in his hands, my cake. With a big brown groceries bag, that had rattling glass bottles inside. I could even try to hide my smile.
"Is that my cake?" I asked Mathis trying not to sound excited. But then he smiled, and I was done with.
"Yeah it is, I was going to come see if you wanted to chill." He said lifting the brown bag. "So, I went to the fridge to get some brews and I saw it in there. Then it dawned on me that no one sang you Happy Birthday!" He saw the sad look take my face over. Then he got it.
"I take it this isn’t the first year that's happened." He put the cake on the edge of the tub that was flat and stepped inside. His boot grazed my leg and I swear I felt a jolt and I know he felt my leg twitch.
"You know my parents haven't told me happy birthday in nine years." I tried to make myself sad again so I could mask how almost happy that he was there with me.
"Hey." He said as my head started to dip from the thought of my parents. I looked up at him just as a tear, I didn't expect to fall, fell down my cheek. He squatted down and wiped the tear stream away. I flinched when his hand touched my skin. "Happy birthday Jacob, I'm sorry they do that to you." He smelled like wood shavings but like the cologne kind. I almost leaned in for a bigger whiff. I had to get us passed this moment, I didn't want to make it weird for him.
"Ah, it’s stupid, it’s just a few words." I said chuckling nervously. He watched me for a second as he was trying to figure something out. Then got up and sat on the edge of the tub pulling out two beers and popped them open, handing me one.
"I'm seventeen, dude." I said even though I had been drinking and smoking bud for two years.
"Yeah, well your own family made you cry on your birthday, so they owe you a few brews. Besides I can smell the bud in here like crazy, so let's not pretend you don’t drink." He said wiggling the brown bottle and raising his eyebrows.
"All right, all right you caught me. Do me a favor though where the switch is there’s keys there can you grab them I don’t want forget them. Then lock the door, they'll think I closed it up and went upstairs to bed." He went and locked the door, turning the lock on the doorknob, on his way back the cake almost slipped. Both of us lurched forward at it and neither of us noticed that he'd put the keys in his jacket pocket.
"It’s good." He said picking it up and popped off the lid and sat back down on the edge of the jacuzzi.
I said, " So, I lied to before, I actually saw the cake before and went to the store. Luce fell asleep so I went to the store down the street to get me some brews and I saw these and thought of you." From inside the bag he pulled out a Slytherin pen and bookmark set along with a weird black egg looking thing in a plastic package. He handed me the pen set but kept the egg thing.
"Open it." He said as he opened the plastic casing around the egg looking thing. I popped open the thin plastic container around the set and inside was a hundred-dollar bill. I literally had to try not cry again. Before I could say anything, I heard a lighter ignite. Looking up the black egg thing was sitting on the cake and he was lighting the tip of the top of it.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you," as Mathis sings the egg burns for a little bit and it bursts open and it's a black lotus looking candle with a flame on every tip. "Happy birthday dear Jacob, happy birthday to you." I couldn't tell you how long I sat there moving my eyes from that candle to him. It felt like five seconds and five years at the same time. "It says that you make your wish as the last flame goes." I still couldn't say anything. What were words even in that moment? Slowly the flames started to die and the last one was on his side of the candle. I don’t know what made me do it but I shot to his side and put my hand on his arm and leaned in front of him, made my wish then blew put the candle. What I didn't notice at first was my grip on his arm. It felt like I was saying thank you almost through that contact. He turned his head to look at me and what was I'm sure a few seconds passed like ten years of his eyes smiling at mine.
After that we made out completely inside the jacuzzi sitting on the bottom his feet next to me and my feet next to him. We had spent who knows how long drinking those beers and eating the cake.
"So, after high school what's the plan?" He said popping open one of the last few beers.
"Do we have to do that? I cannot tell you how many times I've answered that question in the past week."
"You have no idea, do you?" He asked.
"Is that a bad thing? It is right? I don’t know, I just have so much pressure on me." I said tapping off my beer.
"How so?" He asked handing me a other beer.
"Well, everyone sees me as the artistic guy and the smart guy, so they automatically expect me to just have answers and plans but in truth I'm just as lost as anyone else. Not to mention with Lucy going to medical school and doing well, everything I do is not on up to her level. When I finished my book, my parents didn't even want to read it. A book doesn't matter unless its published, they said." I took a long swig of the beer, which had gone kinda warm.
"Yeah, that sounds tough man, I mean I didn't really have to worry about that kind of stuff. My grandfather raised me in his shop so well he gave it to me. I never really thought about school or the pressures of it." We fell silent for a bit. He kept looking at me like if he wanted to say something but was afraid to say it.
"You can say it, whatever it is." I said.
"Okay, in a way they're kind of right." I shot a fake betrayal look at him.
"You've joined them! Traitor." I said with a smile drinking at my beer.
"Well I mean you obviously have brains in that two-toned head of yours and you obviously have the discipline to finish a book. Published or not that's not easy to do. So, in a way you have a path forming before you. I think your just scared of them being right because you're so used to being opposed to them." He said with a "I'm just saying" kind of look.
"Well, look at you figuring me out over here."
"It’s nice to have something to figure out, Luce tells me everything that runs through her mind and most of it is not very interesting. I care for her and all, but I just wish she would save some of her thoughts for me to figure out. I don’t know maybe that's not right." He said finishing his beer. Just as I finished the one he gave me.
"One left, we can share if you want." He said popping the cap. "So, how open are you to letting me read your book?" He said after taking a drink then passing it to me.
"Not very, sir." I said taking a drink. "It’s not very good." I handed the beer back to him.
"Has anyone ever even read it?"
"No." I answered taking the beer after his drink.
"Then how do you know it's not very good."
"Well I guess I don’t but come on man, you don’t want to read that stuff. It's all so depressing." I said before finishing off the last of the beer.
"What I find depressing is the fact that you have created something from nothing and it's just sitting in flash drive or drawer somewhere."
I smiled maybe too wide at him, at least wider than I should have.
"Okay, you can read it."
"That's fine, like the good ole days of reading." He laughed. "So, I don’t mean to get super personal but how are you on socializing with..." he trailed off.
"With guys?" I finished.
"Yeah, is there a guy?" He asked looking kinda drunk.
"No, there isn't. There's never been. Sad to say it but I've never been with anyone. I have been a solo act from day one. Except... naw never mind."
"What? There’s been at least one guy, come on spill." He said putting a hand on my knee, leaving it there. I swear I could feel him circling his thumb and it sent shivers all over.
"Well, a while back, I was in the locker room after everyone had left. The other guys weren't so keen on having me around when they changed. Anyway, I thought I was alone, so I started to sing a song that had been stuck in my head all day and from the showers Michel Duke came out in just a towel. He told me I sang well but being a social suicide kind of guy, I tried to leave before I did or said anything to bring on more stigma to myself. But before I could leave, he came around and took my arm and pushed me against the wall. He undid his towel and put my hand on it. He was already getting hard and he told me to jerk him off, so I did, and he just leaned his head on my shoulder while I worked him. Then he just shot against the wall and picked up his towel and said thanks. Not talking again as he dressed. I felt weird so I left. He never talked to me again after that." I finished and he looked at me strangely.
"I've never held anyone before or been held, had a new year’s kiss, had a Valentines before." I tried to hide the tear I felt coming but it fell before I could. He glanced at the door then back at me.
"Can you keep a secret?" He asked.
"Yeah, why?" He didn't answer me. Instead he got up and moved over to where I sat and placed himself next to me.
"What are you doing?" I asked getting very nervous.
"Shh. Just go with it before I change my mind." He said simply.
He sat and put his arm around me leaning me against his chest, the smell of his wood chip cologne invading my nose. I guess he could feel me go stiff, so he lifted my face to his.
"Relax. Take this as another birthday gift." He said. Listening I relaxed my body and laid my head on his firm chest again. After that I couldn't help it. I moved my whole body next to his and let my hand rest on his stomach. I don’t know how long it was but before I fell asleep but i can tell you, what a way to do so.