My Story - please read

[RicanDAB]

You're evil ...

 

[bigpayback]

Great storytelling. By the way, Facebook is the best!

 

[timnmostud]

You ARE a bit evil! I love that! The cliffhangers are kind of fun, though!

Anyway, it sounds like you are getting through all of this well and I am very happy for you. You sound very sensible. I am glad you are understanding of others taking time to come to grips with your coming out. I think we get a little worked up at times and assume that everyone else should be on the same page we are when we come out. But, the truth is, it usually took us a while to come to grips with it, too. So, it only stands to reason that others need time with it, too. A smart man, you are! This all sounds very familiar as to what my coming out was like and that was 23 years ago! Some things never change, but, in the end all will turn out well for you as it has for me, I am sure!

Good luck in all of this and keep posting so we know how you are!

 

[gonzo]

and i'm back. with much to tell =). i left off last time with going to my house to get water.

so we arrived at my house, i think it was just after 1, so still pretty early in terms of university sleep times. we got some water as soon as we got into my room. steve sat down on my bed, and the second he put his glass down i went in for the kiss. i guess having done it once the week prior with peter and being drunk (and him being so hot!) made it VERY easy for me to kiss him. and the weirdest (but insanely amazing) part of all this was the fact that i've had a crush on this guy for almost the entire school year and he was now in my bed making out with me. we were making out for a while when the shirts came off. then eventually it was getting late and i didn't want him to go (and he clearly didn't want to go either), so i asked him if he wanted to stay the night. he liked this idea and so we changed into some more comfortable shorts and t-shirts. the t-shirts was a dumb idea since they came off again soon after laying back down.

less happened between me and steve than with me and peter. i think this was good for a few reasons.. one, me and steve actually went on a date and both showed interest in a relationship (peter had no interest in one), so it felt more real, like it had potential to go somewhere. two, we both had boundaries and these were respected on both parts (although i did give him a hickey even though he told me not too.. but the hickey was between his hip and belly button, so it was very conspicuous). i also felt like we should save something for the next time we went out (at this point i wasn't sure what would happen next, but i knew i wasn't going to be naive and vulnerable this time, not after peter).

anyway, we didn't end up going to sleep... maybe we both caught some sleep for a few minutes here and there. we were going at it all night, staying within the boundaries. the boundaries might have been broken slightly before we decided to get out of bed in the morning because we ended up jacking each other off, even though we said the shorts would stay on. he left around 7:30 the next morning so i could get ready for my work/volunteer meeting at 8. we talked for some time on msn on thurs and again on friday. on thursday he asked me if i'd like to go out on a second date, to which i obviously agreed lol. this second date is to take place sometime this coming week, so i'll be sure to continue updating this thread.

so for now, not only is this story to be continued for you guys, it is for me too! however, i'll still find out how things go before you =p

thanks again for everyone who's followed my story and been supportive. keep the thread alive.

 

[Elwood]

Wow what a great story!! Now you got me hooked!! Congratulations on coming out !!!

 

[olides74]

thanks again for everyone who's followed my story and been supportive. keep the thread alive.

bump. I was hooked too - things were going SOOO fast for you. Any new news?

 

[gonzo]

i've returned, after quite some time, with another update for those who have been following my story.

last time i left off was before mine and steve's second date. before the second date even came on the tuesday, we were talking on monday when he told me his heat was broken, so i decided to invite him over for the night. it's hard to remember exactly what happened, but things did heat up more than the last time we were together. tuesday came, and we went out to a restaurant with a group of his friends, which was fun. what was more fun was going back to his place lol. so again we spent the night together.

this continued for some time, despite april being exam month. we pretty much spent all day together studying on campus, would go to either one of our houses, wake up, separate to get ready for another day of studying and the cycle would continue. a few times the topic of making our relationship would come up, with him not wanting to discuss it. so i let it slide; i didn't want to rush anything. after all, this was my first relationship and so i wasn't sure how things were supposed to progress. eventually, april 24, after making dinner for steve and subsequently fooling around he asked whether i thought i'd like to be his boyfriend. to this i responded that i thought it was a good idea, that i really liked him and would like to be his boyfriend. so i officially got my first boyfriend!! this was exciting!

i was finished exams at this point, but he had one more to go the following day. once he finished that one, we pretty much spent all our time together until friday morning when his dad came to pick him up to go home. he wasn't going to be spending much time at home because he had an orientation for his one month trip to thailand the next two days before his flight out of the country. so he left almost a week ago, on monday for thailand until may 30. i heard from him yesterday since he left. he sent me a long e-mail about his trip and he said he's having the time of his life, which makes me so happy for him! but i really miss him. i think about him all the time; when i'm at work, which happens to be the hospital on campus where we would study all day long during exams, i always picture us together walking the hallways or sitting studying in the conference rooms. or when i listen to music... one song by this amazing artist has a line that reminds me so much of steve. so when i heard from him yesterday i was so excited and happy, but the story is about to take a bad turn...

last night was my cousin's 21st birthday. she invited me to go out with her and some other cousins and friends (some of which i knew, some of which i didn't). we planned on taking a limo downtown to a club. one of her friends that went, named chris, is also gay. a few days after i came out to her, he also came out to her, so she introduced us over the easter weekend (over facebook), and we started talking on facebook, then msn. we really hit it off, and got along really well. i had just started things with steve when me and chris started talking, but in our first conversation i told him there was someone i was kind of seeing; i didn't want to give the wrong impression. i however was unsuccessful, there was so much chemistry over msn that he started to develop feelings for me. if i hadn't been with steve, i might have developed something for chris like he did for me... but i was happy spending my time with steve. i never thought of chris, and we hardly even talked during exams. friday before yesterday we talked over msn again and i updated him on my relationship status; i wanted him to know that i had a bf yesterday when we were going out.

so at the club we were a bit flirtatious around each other. we got to dancing and grinding after we were sufficiently full of alcohol. i kept reminding him that nothing could happen because of steve. but i could tell he wouldn't let it down. after a few close encounters where he'd try to kiss me or get too close, i'd walk away to cool down. at this point i was doing really good. i really hate it when someone in a relationship cheats on their partner, so i told myself this was not going to happen.

except that it eventually did. once we got back to my cousin's house, after trying sooo hard to stay away from him and getting everyone around to help me stay away, he finally succeeded in getting me lay down next to him. this is when we kissed. it got to the point where my cousin asked me if i wanted to stop and i couldn't... i knew what i was doing was so wrong, but i didn't stop. we moved to the basement and were on the basement carpet in the hallway going at it. we only allowed it to get to the point where we each gave each other a hand job (but not to the point of orgasm) and we made out, a lot. i know the fact that it didn't go farther doesn't make what i did any better; i should have done nothing in the first place. i regret what happened last night, but it's done and now i have to deal with it. this is where i could use some advice. i've already been told by my cousins and friends at the party the morning after that i need to tell steve or that i should just let it be, assuming this doesn't happen again (which i won't allow). so far my thread has been me solely telling my story without asking for much help, but i could really use some now. some guidance from someone who's been in this situation before would be highly appreciated.

thanks

 

[chobbs]

Hey man, this is a tough situation you're in. You know that you did the wrong thing, and now you are presented with a choice. If you think you can live happily with keeping this a secret from Steve, then don't tell him. However, you really should take into account how you would feel if you were on the other end of this. It is pretty clear that the right thing to do is to tell Steve, but if you do, you must do so in a way that portrays how badly you feel about the situation, and you must make it clear to him that you would never do anything like that again.

It's hard when your hormones are raging to say no, especially when alcohol is involved and your partner is out of the country. It would probably be best to tell him upon his arrival, and not now, because the distance may drive him to forget you or do something just as harmful as you have done to him.

You ought to sit back and think about why it is you are in the relationship you are currently in and if Steve is really the right guy for you.

Good luck man, and don't beat up on yourself. We all make mistakes. Hopefully you can learn from this experience.

 

[stormofswords921]

dude, you should start a blog or something! you have a great way of telling a story! anywho, you came out like 2 months ago. ur gayness is like a shiny new toy that you can't help playing with 24/7. kinda like when u first realize playing with your dick leads to some pleasurable things, except this time the pleasurable things come from other guys. anyway, it's fairly common for a new "out" guy to make an "opps" when starting their first relationship. sometimes it is a one time thing and they go on to be totally happy in their LTR. other times they realize they want to continue to play with their new toy for awhile before settling down with one guy. sounds like you have to do a little soul searching and decide what you really want. either way you do need to tell steve, but I agree with chobbs, don't tell him until he is back in the u.s. it's only fair that he knows about it. and it will be easier to tell him now vs. a year from now when ur madly in love and he finds out by accident or something. who knows, maybe he is ok with having an open relationship. anyways, good luck. you are clearly a success story and it will provide a lot of people with inspiration as they go through the process of coming out themselves. keep up the updates...and seriously you should think about starting a blog or something!

 

[VitroX]

Hi nicky.

My advice to you:

You did a bad move indeed, probably for your poor experience in relationships, but for sure if steves find out about what you did your relationship will never be the same. So, you can try 2 things:

1. Dont tell steve and pray for he will never find out
2. Tell steve before someone else do and confront the situation.

The best way to go is the second one. Hopefully if your relationship with steve gets stronger this episode will be without importance.

good luck and keep us updated

 

[Alive and Free]

I am so happy for you , this is a great start !

 

[RicanDAB]

I am so happy for you , this is a great start !

I beg to differ ...

I am a little disappointed in what happened, Nicky ... now that you say you have a boyfriend. I understand that you're young and horny but if you're going to make a committment with someone it's your responsibility to be true to that promise, and your partner has that responsibility as well. In my eyes, a boyfriend is akin to monogamy. Perhaps not everyone has the same definition as I do, but declaring Steve as your boyfriend means you have a duty to be faithful.

Think about how you would feel if Steve did something like this to you. Wouldn't you want to know? Wouldn't you be upset? If you value your relationship, of which honesty is a very crucial element, I would tell Steve what happened and show him that you don't want to keep secrets from him. If he's understanding and forgives this mis-step on your part, he's a keeper and I would not even think of crossing that line again because next time he may not be so forgiving. But if he's unforgiving and lets you go, learn from your mistake and realize that he's not the one for you.

You also need to re-evaluate and decide whether the need to fulfill your sexual needs whenever you feel like it is more important than keeping true to one man. As you get older you will understand where I am coming from.