Hi
This is my first posting on JUB; I hope it isn’t too long!
Just to give you some background about my friendship with Andy my straight friend, we first became friends when we both started working for my present employer 19 years ago; we were both employed at around the same time. Although there is quite a gap in our ages we always got on very well together. Andy left the company after a few years to go and work for a competitor; we still kept in touch with each other mainly by phone I was married at the time and he was living with his girlfriend 10 miles away in the next town, so we didn’t see each other very often. Nine years ago my wife died of cancer and it wasn’t long after her death that I started thinking about my sexuality (I have known I was gay since I was 13, but that’s another story maybe for another thread) needless to say I was always faithful to her and never strayed and loved her to much to do anything about my feelings towards men.
Any way back to my friend Andy, about 18 months later he phoned me at work and asked if he could call round one evening which he did and he was clearly in need of some help. He had left his girlfriend, been evicted from his house and was in severe financial difficulty, on top of all that he was drinking and taking drugs, we talked for ages that evening and I told him I was gay he was the first man I had come out to. He was very supportive and didn’t have any problems with me discussing my sexuality. Our friendship grew even stronger and we started to meet up on a regular basis, for meals, movies, theatre etc. Then one evening when he was at my place I stupidly came on to him, I didn’t grab him or anything like that I just asked him if I could get close to him and he said he was flattered but politely rejected my advances and the incident was never mentioned again.
One of my friends asked me if I would like to share a villa in Orlando, Florida for two weeks, he needed six people to share but was 2 people short. I asked Andy if he would like to go with us, knowing he did not have any money and I offered to pay for him. We had a great time and I noticed after a few days into the holiday he started to relax and the old Andy started to surface again, he has said to me many times that the holiday was the biggest turning point in his life. After the holiday we still met up on a regular basis until one day we met up and he told me he had been chatting on the internet with a girl in New York, fallen in love with her and was leaving the UK to go and live with her. I was devastated and realized then how much in love I was with him we had been there for each other through some rough times. But life goes on and I got used to him not being there, we kept in touch by phone and email on a regular basis. I don’t know how he managed to live he had no money, no job and no likelihood of getting one either. Anyway three months later I got a very distressed call from him he was stranded in Canada, American immigration would not let him back in the US and the Canadian immigration would only allow him to stay 5 days, he asked if I would Money Gram some money to him so he could buy a ticket back to the UK, without hesitation I said yes, I made sure he also had enough to pay for food and taxis etc.
When he arrived back in the UK he had nowhere to live so I let him have my spare bedroom and I made sure he didn’t starve either. He soon got a job and started to pay me back the money I had loaned him. We had some good times together while he was with me and it was great to have somebody to talk to when I came home from work. He had a really nice girlfriend and we sometimes went out together. He changed his job a few times each time getting a better paid one, he started going out with a girl he knew from way back and eventually he left my place to go and live with her, they later got married and settled down together in their own house, with his daughter and her son. That was four years ago.
Occasionally we used to go out together either to the movies or for a meal usually both. His wife is just what he needed, she got him solvent again. Over the last two years we haven’t met up but we have kept in touch by phone and email, I tried to arrange a night out a few times but he didn’t want to meet up, he said he had been fired from his job and was suffering from depression, I didn’t want to interfere I thought if he wants some help from me he will ask, he has his wife and family now to help him. Anyway a couple of weeks ago he sent an email asking if he could come around we arranged the night and decided to go out for an Indian meal, we had a good time talking about the past present and future, his health is back to normal and he now runs a business of his own, he came back to my place for coffee and chatted some more, It was getting late so we said our goodbyes. Five minutes later the bell rang it was Andy, he came in and without hesitation he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him and admitted he had gay feelings, after the initial shock I asked him if he was sure and he said yes. We went up to the bedroom and I have never seen anybody remove their clothes as fast; I didn’t even have to get him hard his cock was stood to attention when he dropped his briefs and he didn’t waste any time grabbing me, we explored each other for awhile then took it in turns to go down on each other, suddenly he said he was enjoying it too much and was getting an attack of the guilt’s and asked me to stop, so we did. He admitted to me that he used to masturbate
in my bed when I was out at work on a late shift. He also admitted he wanted to have sex with me when we went on a weekend trip to London four years ago and that was only six weeks before he got married.
The only communication I have had with him since is one email to say thanks for a good evening and he replied he won’t leave it too long before meeting again. I can’t text or email him about that night just in case his wife opens them I can’t telephone him at home or work in case his wife is there. I can’t get him off my mind I think about him all day everyday. Does he love me? Does he want an affair? Is he just using me? I need to know. WTF do I do now.
This is my first posting on JUB; I hope it isn’t too long!
Just to give you some background about my friendship with Andy my straight friend, we first became friends when we both started working for my present employer 19 years ago; we were both employed at around the same time. Although there is quite a gap in our ages we always got on very well together. Andy left the company after a few years to go and work for a competitor; we still kept in touch with each other mainly by phone I was married at the time and he was living with his girlfriend 10 miles away in the next town, so we didn’t see each other very often. Nine years ago my wife died of cancer and it wasn’t long after her death that I started thinking about my sexuality (I have known I was gay since I was 13, but that’s another story maybe for another thread) needless to say I was always faithful to her and never strayed and loved her to much to do anything about my feelings towards men.
Any way back to my friend Andy, about 18 months later he phoned me at work and asked if he could call round one evening which he did and he was clearly in need of some help. He had left his girlfriend, been evicted from his house and was in severe financial difficulty, on top of all that he was drinking and taking drugs, we talked for ages that evening and I told him I was gay he was the first man I had come out to. He was very supportive and didn’t have any problems with me discussing my sexuality. Our friendship grew even stronger and we started to meet up on a regular basis, for meals, movies, theatre etc. Then one evening when he was at my place I stupidly came on to him, I didn’t grab him or anything like that I just asked him if I could get close to him and he said he was flattered but politely rejected my advances and the incident was never mentioned again.
One of my friends asked me if I would like to share a villa in Orlando, Florida for two weeks, he needed six people to share but was 2 people short. I asked Andy if he would like to go with us, knowing he did not have any money and I offered to pay for him. We had a great time and I noticed after a few days into the holiday he started to relax and the old Andy started to surface again, he has said to me many times that the holiday was the biggest turning point in his life. After the holiday we still met up on a regular basis until one day we met up and he told me he had been chatting on the internet with a girl in New York, fallen in love with her and was leaving the UK to go and live with her. I was devastated and realized then how much in love I was with him we had been there for each other through some rough times. But life goes on and I got used to him not being there, we kept in touch by phone and email on a regular basis. I don’t know how he managed to live he had no money, no job and no likelihood of getting one either. Anyway three months later I got a very distressed call from him he was stranded in Canada, American immigration would not let him back in the US and the Canadian immigration would only allow him to stay 5 days, he asked if I would Money Gram some money to him so he could buy a ticket back to the UK, without hesitation I said yes, I made sure he also had enough to pay for food and taxis etc.
When he arrived back in the UK he had nowhere to live so I let him have my spare bedroom and I made sure he didn’t starve either. He soon got a job and started to pay me back the money I had loaned him. We had some good times together while he was with me and it was great to have somebody to talk to when I came home from work. He had a really nice girlfriend and we sometimes went out together. He changed his job a few times each time getting a better paid one, he started going out with a girl he knew from way back and eventually he left my place to go and live with her, they later got married and settled down together in their own house, with his daughter and her son. That was four years ago.
Occasionally we used to go out together either to the movies or for a meal usually both. His wife is just what he needed, she got him solvent again. Over the last two years we haven’t met up but we have kept in touch by phone and email, I tried to arrange a night out a few times but he didn’t want to meet up, he said he had been fired from his job and was suffering from depression, I didn’t want to interfere I thought if he wants some help from me he will ask, he has his wife and family now to help him. Anyway a couple of weeks ago he sent an email asking if he could come around we arranged the night and decided to go out for an Indian meal, we had a good time talking about the past present and future, his health is back to normal and he now runs a business of his own, he came back to my place for coffee and chatted some more, It was getting late so we said our goodbyes. Five minutes later the bell rang it was Andy, he came in and without hesitation he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him and admitted he had gay feelings, after the initial shock I asked him if he was sure and he said yes. We went up to the bedroom and I have never seen anybody remove their clothes as fast; I didn’t even have to get him hard his cock was stood to attention when he dropped his briefs and he didn’t waste any time grabbing me, we explored each other for awhile then took it in turns to go down on each other, suddenly he said he was enjoying it too much and was getting an attack of the guilt’s and asked me to stop, so we did. He admitted to me that he used to masturbate
in my bed when I was out at work on a late shift. He also admitted he wanted to have sex with me when we went on a weekend trip to London four years ago and that was only six weeks before he got married.The only communication I have had with him since is one email to say thanks for a good evening and he replied he won’t leave it too long before meeting again. I can’t text or email him about that night just in case his wife opens them I can’t telephone him at home or work in case his wife is there. I can’t get him off my mind I think about him all day everyday. Does he love me? Does he want an affair? Is he just using me? I need to know. WTF do I do now.
