My Unhealthy relationship?????

[bobby543210]

So I'm 28 and this guy works for me who's 18. we have jacked off together many times and he has let me touch him but I feel he wants me to do more and hey I'm willing but I think he's scared. I know cause I was there at that age. I want to just leave him alone and not get emotionally attatched but we have gotten really close. He tells me everything and he engages the jacking off. He was just a co-worker b4 I became his boss. I'm all professional that I wouldn't fire him or anything for not sharing the same feelings, I'd never take the chance of him suing me or anything. But I think I am starting to have feeling for him. He says ofcourse he is straight and I think he might be I don't know what I should do. He seems confused and am I right to add to that confusion. I was confussed and in denial, I still am in many ways, I don't feel totally gay or anything I like girls and think of them alot too. Maybe it's just cause I've only been with guys. I don't know. Thank God for sites like this where we can vent safely and without fear. I am closeted and people have their suspitions I know, I refuse to be "labled" one way or the other, can we say denial??? So any ideas or opions would be greatly appreciated. I would love to help this guy out and help him understand his feelings but I think I should back off and avoid anything sexual including jerking off and see what happens. Only thing is when I do he tries so hard to get me turned on. Sometimes he tries to get me hot then watches while I jack off. what do you guys think of him. Anyone have suggestioons on how I would know?? HELP!

 

[rareboy]

Oh lord. Could it get more complicated? Now that you're his boss, stop jerking off together. Period.

You go away and figure out if you're gay and let him do the same.

 

[RicanDAB]

My God, I am speechless. You've dug yourself a big hole there buddy. What I cannot understand is how you managed to have someone 10 years your junior dictate this situation, especially when YOU are apparently his boss. Thinking about it is clear you're not really the boss in this situation. I assume that if he asked for a big raise you're not gonna deny it are you?

He's in an enviable position I tell ya.

 

[bobby543210]

The whole boss thing isn't that big of a deal , really! I just am a supervisor and I have no control of hiring or firing or raises so all is good there.

 

[FREDDIE187]

I'll give you another take on this.

Maybe you are falling in love with him and maybe he is already in love with you. Maybe you should change the wanking sesions to "love making" sessions.

This could be the time for the two of you to help each other to start a relationship. To admit you are gay, at least to yourselfs.

 

[rareboy]

Uhhhh, the other thing Bobby, is that your profile says you're 30 not 28. You have a few honesty issues to sort out as well. If you haven't sorted out what you are by this age, I don't think you're much of a role model for him. Stop behaving like you're 16, grow up and go find a bf your own age first.

The boss thing isn't about hiring, firing or paycheques. It is about control and responsibility. It isn't all good there and the fact that you think it is is troubling.

You hit the nail on the head with the title of your post.

 

[hermanding]

you really need not to do these things with him anymore. and try to get in touch with yourself more completely. stay with us and let us know what happens
ding

 

[KentuckyPython]

Some simple suggestions:

Put a stop to the whole thing.
Beat your meat alone in the privacy of your own home.
Figure out how old you are.
Find a nice guy (or girl or one of each even) who doesn't work with or for you and take life from there.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Don't sh*t where you eat?"

 

[M4P]

Dude

You were placed in a supervisory capacity because the owner or manager obviously believed you were mature. As a person in authority your role is to mentor subordinates on the job - not in the sack

Put it back in your pants and get to work before you're both fired

 

[spreadeagle]

You don't specifically say anything to the contrary, but I hope none of this mutual jacking and sexual interaction takes place in working hours and/or on work premises. If it does you are making a bad situation almost irretrievably worse and jeopardising your own employment and future career prospects.

It is highly likely that given his youth, vulnerability and insecurity that if he were put under the least pressure this could all come spilling out framed in a context of 'he made me do it'. This is a very serious situation. You are NOT professional and you ARE taking the risk of him suing you.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

By calling it 'My Unhealthy relationship', you are pretty much signalling that you know, there is a bit of something 'unhealthy' going on with it.

So, I guess, the point of your posting here would be to see, how can you have your cake and eat it?

No one here would ever really recommend that you should mess around with the dudes you work with. Life however, is not really bound by JUB and its many willing advisors. You certainly are one of many men, who got involved with his co-worker. Correct me, if I am wrong, but the dude you are involved with seems to be more than unlikely to start going around and broadcasting the contents of your little JO contests. He might be having as much of a vested interest in keeping it private as you do.

If you feel that there is a good vibe coming from his part, and you feel the same, I see no reason for you to put an end to your being buddies with this dude. Enjoy the ride.

If you feel like talking about your emotions with him, be aware that this may freak him out, so do it only, if you believe that this is virtually indispensable.

Do not worry about the age difference. An 18 year old these days is more likely to know, whom and what he wants than not than ever before. If he chose you and if he stayed with you, he must have had his reasons.

Go with the flow. Put in a bit more substance into your 'relationship'. Not necessarily by flying a big rainbow flag or by telling him that you are all for gay marriage but by doing things together with him: a road trip, a short vacation, a ski weekend, whatever.

Do not verbalize everything. Do as you find fit and appropriate, and you'll know, when the time is right for you to do the 'talk'.

I find it more often than not that it is far more important in life to walk the walk than always talk the talk.

SC

 

[rareboy]

wow...this is just so contrary to everything that my instincts and experience suggest.

Well, now you have someone who has given you an alternate approach to take.

good luck.

 

[bobby543210]

thanks for the help guys. I think I have a better outlook now. I love that everyone has different opinions and that really helps. The whole boss thing just came about. I have known him and worked with him for 3 years. This is a recent job change and chances are only temporary. I likley will be changing jobs completely inn the next month. It isnn't and never has been a power and control issue. As for my Age, well sorry, my friend chad set this up for me. I need to go in and change my info apparently. I was NOT intentionally lying about my age. Thanks again All!

 

[FREDDIE187]

thanks for the help guys. I think I have a better outlook now. I love that everyone has different opinions and that really helps. The whole boss thing just came about. I have known him and worked with him for 3 years. This is a recent job change and chances are only temporary. I likley will be changing jobs completely inn the next month. It isnn't and never has been a power and control issue. As for my Age, well sorry, my friend chad set this up for me. I need to go in and change my info apparently. I was NOT intentionally lying about my age. Thanks again All!

That is fine dude, but we would really like to know how you have decided to handle the issue. Please let us know.

 

[Spiff]

It's kind of bizarre. Sounds as if he is afraid of crossing the line. But you say you guys have j/o'd together several times, so I think you two already crossed that line. For someone that claims to be straight, strange that he enjoys jacking off routinely with another guy.

Or maybe it's another one of those bi guys that just wants to fool around with you in the shadows but live the straight life in public.

 

[bobby543210]

well in response to what i did in this situation I stoped at least on my end. Most of you all made me feel basically like a piece of s$%@ for having feelings for him. anyways He has been bugging me and being all touchy feely but I am forcing myself to not do anything. I guess I'll think twice b4 letting my feelings control me. I am taking a different position in the company and now am no longer his boss. That was as I said NEVER really the issue. He is young but I think I love him and the majority of you have made me realize that I am wrong for allowing myself to feel that way about him. I'm not sure really how I feel about sharing this problem on here. Thanks anyways guys! Thanks so much FREDDIE for your insite, that ment alot. I don't know if aI'm doing the right thing or not. I feel because of what everyone was saying I guess it's right but my heart hurts. He is really trying to get me to do things again. I don't know. He's young and straight, so he says. I should let him figure out things but I wish I could help him. My feelings are deep.

 

[kurtwild]

if you feel like doing more things then do them.dont suppres your feelings or your lust.
he is not straight,he likes jerking off with you.
go on...

 

[RicanDAB]

Bobby,

NO straight man is gonna pursue you for jerkoffs obsessively like that ... he's a naive 18 year old kid who knows no better than to think with the head of his dick and attempt to have fun while in the closet - you were 18 once, you should know how hormonally out of control you were at that age - and as we all were. If you truly find it in your heart that this guy is your soulmate (!!!) .. then the best thing you could do is end the work relationship you guys have and then pursue him.

But IMHO, pursuing a relationship with a guy whose pawing all over you, still in the closet and claims to be straight ? Is that what really will make you happy? Then knock yourself out, man.

 

[Theyoungman]

Stop what you are doing with him... It can cause problems.