My wife knew I was bi, but I told I think I'm gay...

[FuzzyWuzzy75]

I think I was one of those guys who had to transition himself by taking the title of bi for awhile. This lead to me marriage and kids and a feeling of being stuck.
She took it well. We haven't discussed splitting up yet, but wonder if there are any other guys out there who came out to his wife and what happened next.

 

[LikesDudes2]

Are you in love with your wife?

 

[bananas15]

Not to be harsh, but thanks for ruining the 'label' for the rest of us. Why can't you guys just man up early on instead of ruining so many lives?

 

[Namebirthdate]

Bananas, you know so little about the OPs family that you really have no reason to judge him so harshly. I don't know any more about him than you do but assuming that he is "ruining lives" is way over the line. This is not the place for such negativity and rudeness.

 

[bananas15]

Really, letting his wife (and kids) know that, "hang on, I'm not just curious about penis, it's actually what I'm into...and I don't like vagina"* isn't ruining lives when he's suspected it (and, deep down, known it) for years before this happened?

* - and yeah, that's pretty much word for word how my drunken cousin let his wife know that he wanted a divorce.

"I think I was one of those guys who had to transition himself by taking the title of bi for awhile" --> I wasn't ready to tell the world I was gay. Simple as that.

 

[bananas15]

Until you've felt the stigma of being a legitimately bisexual man, namebirthdate, you don't get to control what I say. People who 'take the title of bi' piss me off because it does ruin lives; not only like those I've mentioned above, but people like myself who can't be 100% honest with a woman during a relationship because what "bisexual" means.

 

[lambdaboy]

Do not listen to anyone here giving you a hard time just do the rigth thing pay child support and let not only you but her move on.

I am American and now also British living in London. I know most of you live in the U.S. you want to blame some one blame the ass holes that believe in God and have been so abusive to gay people not one of our own bi or gay.

I doubt there is a God but ifv you read the bible find one word Jesus said about homosexuality. 33 not married hmmm.

By the way other than visits have no desire to ever live in The U.S.A. again

 

[FuzzyWuzzy75]

Lambdaboy has it right... I was raised in a very strict Christian home. I was always in fear that what I was feeling would send me to Hell. I feel different now, obviously.
I was lucky enough to find a wonderful, open minded woman.
I feel now that, despite still loving her, she deserves more from a relationship than I have been able to give her lately. What is selfish about wanting her to be happy in all aspects of her relationship?

 

[bananas15]

What is selfish about wanting her to be happy in all aspects of her relationship?

That's not selfish; your previous life was. Sorry if I come across as harsh, but I stand behind every word of it. As a thirty-something who had to explain for the last two decades to to his parents, friends and family that he "loves and peen and poon alike" to misunderstanding, confusing and resentment, I truly am hurt every single time I see a "bi" person come out as gay.

I'm sorry that you grew up in a Christian household, I guess.

 

[FuzzyWuzzy75]

I truly am hurt every single time I see a "bi" person come out as gay.

That's kind of you to carry the torch for the "true bi's" of the world, but who are you to say that it's wrong for someone who was once believed themselves bi to realize they are actually gay. I find the female body to be beautiful. I'm not grossed out by vagina and I fell in love with a woman. I was also sexually attracted to men. How is that not bi? Now, my attraction is strictly men. So I've changed. I was looking for help and advice from people who have had the same experience. Get off your soapbox!

 

[blackbeltninja]

That's kind of you to carry the torch for the "true bi's" of the world, but who are you to say that it's wrong for someone who was once believed themselves bi to realize they are actually gay. I find the female body to be beautiful. I'm not grossed out by vagina and I fell in love with a woman. I was also sexually attracted to men. How is that not bi? Now, my attraction is strictly men. So I've changed. I was looking for help and advice from people who have had the same experience. Get off your soapbox!

Only you know for sure if you yourself REALLY believed you were bi. Did you, honestly?

-d-

 

[palemale]

What's the old saying...'Your Mother's always the first to know...your Wife's always the last...' There are bi guys, but more often than not, bi is the last stop on the train ride to gayville.

I've known gay men and lesbians who, from time to time, cheat on their partners with members of the opposite sex. Human sexuality is very complex and is not one size fits all. Hate to break it to you guys who thought you had the world figured out.

 

[LikesDudes2]

Do not listen to anyone here giving you a hard time just do the rigth thing pay child support and let not only you but her move on.

I am American and now also British living in London. I know most of you live in the U.S. you want to blame some one blame the ass holes that believe in God and have been so abusive to gay people not one of our own bi or gay.

I doubt there is a God but ifv you read the bible find one word Jesus said about homosexuality. 33 not married hmmm.

By the way other than visits have no desire to ever live in The U.S.A. again

I really hope you aren't insinuating that Jesus was gay

 

[gabug01]

If I may weigh in.... I think the problem stems from using the bi label instead of using the true one which is 'gay'. I also know several married men who claim to be bi just because they are married but have frequent sex with different men but never a woman. I guess they found the one woman they will ever need in their lives but as for men... they seem to need 1000.